Legion of Lawndale Heroes
by Roentgen-Daria
Summary: Daria crossover with Legion of Super Heroes: When Daria, Quinn, and Jane gain super powers, it sets off a chain of events that could change world history. 3:8 Heart of Evil.
1. 1:1 Skunkworks

On a fateful day in world history, "Cuddles", a member of the ancient family _mephitis mephitis_, known as the common striped skunk, found himself free in the woods of Lawndale.

His brothers and sisters, badgers, polecats, other non-striped skunks and other woodland wildlife made their break for freedom after a jailbreak assisted by three college kids from Lawndale State University who also doubled as members of the Animal Liberation Front. Barbara, the leader, was bicycling down the road one day when she could have sworn she saw the eyes of a caged skunk peering at her through the windows of an unmarked van.

She decided to follow the van to its destination, a bricked building with no windows near Lawndale's post office. Eating a nutritious vegetarian snack while keeping notes on unmarked white and gray vans which pulled to the back of the building, Barbara assumed the building was a research facility of some kind, where little bunnies would have their eyelids cut off and doused with perfume. Which meant, of course, that a liberation action would have to take place.

The three ALF members pulled their own van up to the back gates and tasered the guard who came out to meet the vehicle. The doors opened, and the ALFers found themselves inside a large, expensive looking animal research facility.

JACKPOT!!

They spent the next thirty minutes releasing hundreds of animals. There were so many animals that the ALFers would have to open the cages, take as many of the smaller animals as they could, and hope the larger ones could make it to the wild on their own.

When an alarm finally went off thirty minutes after their arrival, the three made a hasty break for the exit – but steel doors had locked the three college students inside the facility and trapping any animal that hadn't escaped into Lawndale proper. Which, unfortunately for Barbara and her two friends, were only the largest and slowest of the animals. The facility had lost over 95 percent of its test stock.

These facts would have been lost on Cuddles. Already, his experiences at the facility faded out of the few neurons that comprised his brain. Operating on instinct, he made his way toward anything that smelled of wildlife, continually running and nibbling on random trash before leaving downtown Lawndale and heading for the suburbs. As a member of the noble skunk family, anything human would have made a hasty retreat if it had crossed his path.

His paths briefly intersected with Steve, a squirrel from the facility. Steve's glowing red eyes, two burning coals lighting up the darkness, might have taken human beings aback -- but Cuddles was not concerned. He sought the safety of the woods, forgetting everything but the peace his small mind sought.

(la la LA la la)

Daria stood on an upside down metal bathtub. "Tell me why I'm doing this again."

"Statue of Liberty," said Jane, "perspectives, from different angles. The muse has hit me and I want to be able to look up her nose hairs."

Daria prayed that Trent wouldn't see her like this, holding up a flashlight and wearing a tiara made out of a paper plate. "Just how many 'perspectives' do you need? My arm is hurting a lot."

"C'mon Daria. 'Lift your lamp beside the golden door!'"

"I will. And I intend to lower it on your tired, poor immigrant head."

"Daria, every great artist must suffer for her art."

"Or make someone else suffer. Which is what I'm thinking about now that my shoulders are starting to spasm."

A third voice intruded. "Dah-RIAAAA!!!"

("Oh, no," thought Daria.)

"Why, Quinn!" said Jane. "Daria, your relief has arrived!"

Daria let the flashlight drop to her side and dropped her chemistry book. Quinn took a look at Daria, who had forgotten the paper plate tiara. "Daria, homemade accessories? I don't even know where to begin with what's wrong with that! And a tiara?"

"Why the hell are you here?" said Daria.

"Mom wants you. She's been trying to call Jane for the last fifteen minutes, and someone picked up the phone but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Something about boats."

"That was Trent," said Jane. "Probably dreaming about being a submarine captain again."

"Why does Mom want me home so badly that she sent you over here?"

"She figured you had been gone too long."

"This is Saturday," said Daria.

"Yeah. But Mom has a day off and she's decided that she wants the whole family together, and God knows why. Hey, look!!"

Everyone turned. A rabbit was chewing on the overgrown grass at the edge of the Lane back yard.

"It's a rabbit. We have those every now and then," said Jane.

"It's so cute! We never have anything in our back yard! Here bunny bunny bunny!"

Quinn began to run after the rabbit.

"Here rabies rabies rabies," said Daria. The rabbit began making tenative steps towards the safety of the wooded perimeter of the Lane property.

"Quinn, or a rabbit? Which one is smarter?" said Jane. She began to run after Quinn. "This oughta be interesting!"

"Hey, wait! Those are the woods! Don't go in the woods! There are flying monkeys in there!" Daria tried to stop Jane, but Jane disappeared.

Daria sighed. She'd have to run. Which is what she hated to do more than almost anything, except staying at home on a Saturday.

(la-la-LA-la-la)

After ten minutes of trotting in Doc Martens, an out of breath, sweating Daria finally caught sight of Jane. Jane, even in black pantyhose, had barely broken a sweat.

"Man," whispered Jane, "I wish I had my camera! Quinn's after that rabbit like there's no tomorrow!"

"My Dad will teach her how to point and fetch ducks next. C'mon Jane, with any luck, Quinn will get lost in the woods and I can be an only child."

"Shhh!! Quinn's almost got it cornered! Let's sneak up on her!"

Quinn, sweating too but forgetting about the unfashionableness of exertion, had finally trapped the critter near some bushes. There was one bush, it was moving, and the rabbit had to be near it.

"Oh, you're so cute! Here little rabbit! I have some grass for you!!" When Quinn began to resort to baby talk, Daria and Jane began to sneak up quietly behind Quinn, to scream at the most appropriate moment.

Quinn got closer to the rabbit. Daria and Jane got close to Quinn.

Daria and Jane screamed! Quinn lept two feet in terror!

And Cuddles, looking for food, decided that he was now under attack and should defend himself.

(la la LA la la)

If it had been dark, Cuddles's toxic skunk spray would have brought up daylight in the woods for a hundred yards.

It was as if someone had trapped a lightning storm in a spray can.

Daria, Quinn, and Jane were all hit by Cuddles's bolt. Aside from six footprints, the grass caught fire around them as Cuddles finished his spray.

The blue-red lightning caught all of them by surprise. Cuddles's attack only took five second from start to finish, but there were some interesting side effects.

Quinn's smiley face T was given an ugly gash and her right sneaker was knocked off her foot, to be found later forty feet away. Her hair literally stood on end, and two fingernails were simply blown off her right hand. She would have screamed in pain if she could have formed a sound.

Jane's black pantyhose burned off her legs. This could have caused third-degree burns if not for the fact that the pantyhose were also blown off her legs by the force of the blast.

Daria's glasses cracked with the blast. The metal zipper on her jacket melted shut and her left boot caught fire for a few seconds. It proved to be no problem, however, as it simply smouldered out while the three girls lay unconscious.

All three girls were still alive. Cuddles, happy that the threat was gone, resumed his foraging.

Moments passed. Daria was the first person to get up. Her glasses were broken, and she had trouble seeing anything at a distance. She took off the glasses and stuck them in her pocket.

Quinn and Jane were lying in front of her. Daria was in shock. Were they dead? Were they dead?

Quinn moaned. The second Daria heard Quinn stir, she ran to Jane.

"Mommy?" said Jane.

"No, Jane. I'm afraid it's me."

"Oh Daria. I just had...the most...wonderful dream...and you were there too, Auntie Em!"

"Shut up." Daria turned to Quinn, who had crawled to her knees and tried to stand up. Daria ran over to her before she could collapse.

"Quinn? Quinn?!"

"Mmmm..." Quinn muttered. "Daria, shut up. You don't know how much trouble we're all in..."

"I think we were hit by lightning. Or something. We're all alive."

"And we don't stink," said Jane. "Or did I just imagine that skunk attacking us?"

"When Mom finds out..."

Quinn left the threat unanswered. It was left for the others to answer the question.

"So we hide it. We don't tell anyone what happened!" Jane was already trying to make up something half-plausible.

Daria spoke up. "I'm sorry, but you look like hell. My glasses are broken. What are we going to make up? We don't even know if we're really that well."

"Maybe we're dead and we're dreaming," said Quinn.

"None of my dreams would have you in it. Unless they were nightmares."

"Ha ha, very funny!"

"The fact is, we got hit by a lightning bolt. We could be seriously injured. So seriously injured that I'm going to have to break one of my most sacred rules." Daria paused, "Namely, Tell Mom Everything."

(la la LA la la)

"Daria, I intend to stay here all night with you girls!!" Jake and Helen looked devastated as Daria sat up in the emergency room. Her clothes had been discarded and she was left with a formless-looking hospital gown.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Morgendorffer, but we intend to keep Daria in critical care for observation overnight. We've done X-rays and an EEG, and I can't detect any cardiac damage. Some small first degree burns on Miss Lane's legs and your daughter Quinn seems to have lost a couple of fingernails. I don't know if they'll grow back, but that seems to be the least of your worries right now. They need to stay overnight for observation. We'll do a CT scan at the first opportunity, and if we don't detect any brain damage, we'll let them go tomorrow."

"Brain damage?" Daria smiled. "Sorry -- but it's too late for Quinn, Doc."

"Daria!" said Jake. "How could you go off in the woods by yourselves! You don't even know what's out there! God damn it, you're not allowed to go anywhere again!!"

"I'm sorry, Dad. It was Jane, Quinn and I against a rabbit. I thought the three of us could take him on. I just didn't know he'd have a gun."

Jake turned red. "A gun? Damn rabbit!!"

Helen stepped in. "Jake!! Daria, I intend to be back as soon as possible. I want you to do everything the doctors tell you to do!"

"Stop. Don't leave me here with these madmen."

"I've already talked to Quinn and Jake and I will stay in the hotel nearby. The nurses have been told to call me if you need anything from home. Daria..."

Helen sighed. "Daria...I'm just so glad that nothing happened."

"Well...I lost my glasses and one of my boots got burned. On the other hand, Quinn lost two fingernails. I guess you take the good with the bad."

(la la LA la la)

Jane was wheeled down to the CT scan room. Trent walked along side her.

"Hey Janey."

"Hey, Trent. Take a look." Jane raised her left arm, showing Trent the IV tubing. "My own private supply."

"Good one. You're not in pain, are you?"

"Well, my legs don't feel that great. Although it could have been a lot worse." The guerney rolled over a metal strip on the floor. "You better watch this guy, Trent. I don't think he has a license."

The three of them rolled up to the CT imagining room. A young, blonde technician stepped forward. "Hello...Jane Lane?"

"That's me! Lightning Girl!"

"Hello, I'm Sandra. I'm your CT technician. I'm going to be guiding you through the process."

Trent nodded. As the only adult in Jane's life, he signed the permission papers. A contrast solution ran through the IV, and the radiologist removed the IV now that it was about time to do the procedure. Jane would pass slowly under a clamshell-shaped X-ray machine, and the information from the X-rays would be interpreted as a three-dimensional image that would be interpreted by the radiologist.

Jane had been offered a sedative but refused it. She thought the procedure would be fun.

"Now Jane, you're not wearing anything metal, are you?"

"No. My brother on the other hand...!"

"Right. Mr. Lane, you'll have to stand behind the barrier. The procedure shouldn't take that long."

Trent went behind the barrier as the technician closed the door. Jane hopped over to the

slab that would feed Jane into the machine like a loaf of bread is fed into an oven. The mental image disturbed Trent.

The technician began to push a few buttons and the machine started up.

And, immediately stopped.

The lights of the hospital flickered for about three seconds. Then the hospital's emergency generator switched on.

Trent looked up. Not a problem. The technician, however, began to work furiously with the CT device. Finally, she gave up in exasperation and left the room. Jane sat up on the scanning table.

"Mr. Lane, it appears that the CT is...uh...broken. I don't think we're going to do the CT, at least not today."

"Uh...if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not do this. Janey looks all right to me."

"Well." The technician had been put on the spot. "I think a lot of people today might have to have their scans cancelled. I'll call the aide and we'll take Jane back to her room."

The technician made a phone call back up to Critical Care. The nurses would have to be the ones calling the doctor. Sandra looked at the two names next on the list, Quinn Morgendorffer and Daria Morgendorffer. She wondered if they were related, then thought about if she were going to have to work for the rest of the day or if they would put her on call.


	2. 1:2 The Most Important Girl in The

LLH 1.2: "The Most Important Girl in the Universe"

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" It was Helen. "Time to get up and go to school!"

"Mmmm." Daria tasted the dried saliva in her mouth. She still ached. "Mom...I don't think I've quite recovered from that lightning bolt. You might be endangering my fragile health. I think we should take another month off."

"If you're not downstairs in half an hour, you'll only I wish /I you were hit by a lightning bolt. Come on. Get up!"

It had only been a week since Daria, Quinn, and Jane had their "accident". The neurologist said that he couldn't find any signs of damage beyond the cosmetic. Helen had gotten the clear signal on Friday and it was back to school on Monday. Which meant that it was time for Daria to subject herself to Lawndale High. Daria would have rather gone another round with the skunk.

The family table hummed with its usual action – Helen running about like a crazy woman, Jake lost in the Lawndale Shopper, and Quinn sitting at the table eating Model Crunch cereal.

Daria looked across the table. "Gloves, Quinn?"

Quinn turned red. "My fingernails haven't grown back yet! And I don't want anyone to see me without them! It's like not being dressed! I don't want anyone to notice them!"

"So...you're wearing gloves? That'll work." Daria chewed on a piece of toast.

"Am I wrong," said Jake, "but if Billy substitutes for Bill Keane in Family Circus, shouldn't his drawing have gotten better by now? The kid has to be a least thirty by now!!"

"Girls, if there's anything wrong, if you're feeling bad at all, I want you to call me and I'll pick you up immediately. There's nothing more important than – oh, excuse me – (picks up phone) Hi, Eric! What? All day? He called in sick? The nerve of him!!"

"I'm just glad to know that you're watching us with your eagle eye, Mom." Daria finished her toast as quickly as possible. "Gotta go. Hey," she said to Quinn, "aren't you usually out the door before I am?"

"I have a ride with Bret. He called me and wanted to do so much for me I just had to let him offer to drive me to school for the next week." Quinn sighed. "It's just so good when so many people show so much affection for you when you're ill and can't take of yourself and stuff! I might even let him take me to Chez Pierre! Unless Brian offers to first! He has a nicer car!"

"Maybe you can talk some guy into holding your pencil for you. I gotta go." Because my brain has suffered enough. The day hasn't even started and I already have a headache.

Daria began the walk to Jane's house. Jane was undecided if she would go to school or not. The day would really suck if Jane didn't go.

Before Daria knocked on the Jane's door, a clean, combed Jane opened it. "Hello, amiga! Ready to go back to the salt mine?"

"Now I know you were brain damaged. How come your hair isn't in your mouth and your eyes aren't encrusted with barnacles?"

"Well, I've had to listen to Trent practice this week. There's something wrong with his equipment, and the band sounds even worse than ever."

"So bad that Lawndale High is an alternative?"

"It's pretty bad. They're completely out of tune, Trent's speakers aren't working right. And I'm pissed off at him, too!"

"For what?" The two began to walk.

"He ruined my Sick Sad World tapes. I put them into the machine and I just get static. He's done something moronic and taped over them."

"Either that, or the VHS is broken."

"Could be. Nothing's been right all week. Let's go. It has to be better at school than here."

As Daria and Jane walked away, an iron weathervane began spinning rapidly in the backyard. The rooster came to a halt, the arrow pointing directly at Jane. The vane creaked, bending slightly forward for a few seconds...then stopping as Jane disappeared over the hill.

(la la LA la la)

Bret tried to get the VW to turn over, but it was no go. The alternator had died.

"What's wrong, Bret?" said Quinn. "You told me this was a new car!" Quinn folded her arms and tapped her feet.

"It is new, Quinn!" Bret was desperate. This was the only chance he would have to talk to Quinn before she was deluged by hangers-on. His new VW had all of a sudden come to a halt at the intersection, the engine dying. The machine refused to even turn over. He turned at the keys, futilely. Did he leave the headlights on? Was it a battery lead? What?

"Forget it, Bret! I can't sit here at the light all day! I have things to do, people to see! I have to catch up!" Quinn opened the door and stepped out. "Later!! See ya!!"

Bret bemoaned his fate as Quinn walked away. He would have to get the cell phone and call his dad. He didn't know what he was going to do. Now he looked like a moron. The car didn't bother him so much – it was that he had one chance with Quinn, and he blew it. Moron. Next time, check the battery!

(la la LA la la)

"Here we are, amiga! Lllllawndale High! Good thing they didn't change anything while we were gone."

"A parade would have been too much to ask?" said Daria. "Oh well. We'll just have to get used to living our lives in shameful anonymity."

"How's the headache?"

"Not going away. Pounding like a Mystik Spiral drum solo."

"That bad huh? I have to get to homeroom. I'll catch up with you in O'Neill's class. Later."

Daria walked over to her locker.

I don't know how I'm going to tell Mom I got a D plus shes going to beat the shit out of me.

Daria turned around. Nothing, but students walking by. She thought someone was talking to her.

All it would take is a gun I would jam that gun down her fucking throat and say how you like me now you bitch

That was definitely someone. Someone talking to her.

There was no one there.

Daria let her hands drop to her sides. She forgot about her homeroom. She was getting scared.

until the rest of these kids find Jesus they'll not be saved they'll all be going to hell but I'll just be in heaven and I'll be laughing at them

It was voices. Voices in her head. Schizophrenic voices. Crazy voices.

boy that guy last night on MTV was really hot evel evel kneivel god I hate Stacy she is so stuck up all I want to be doing is playing my guitar I can do C and G7 what if Mulder was really an alien and didn't know it you're all a bunch of blithering idiots I am so so out of Lawndale when I graduate touchdown knocked the guy from Polk clean off his pins Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin James Fulton the steamboat I hope AOL isn't down

The voices now rushed at her. Daria felt nowhere to turn. There were a hundred people shouting in her head. She grabbed at her head, and she looked down.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Blood dripping, large red drops. Drops from her nostrils.

I THINK UNCLE TUPELO KICKS ASS SHAUNA WAS SO WASTED LAST NIGHT FOUR BEERS WHAT THE HELL IS MIKES EMAIL ADDRESS GOD WHERE CAN I SCORE A BONG HIT IN THE PARKING LOT PAMELA ANDERSON 36 24 36 SWEET RACK I HATE MS MORRIS MS MORRIS CAN DIE AND GO TO HELL I HOPE DAD DOESN'T FIGURE OUT I BROKE THE GARAGE DOOR YOU NEED COOLIN BABY I'M NOT DROOOLIN I HOPE PINK SOCKS ARE POPULAR TODAY IF SANDI DOESN'T LIKE PINK SOCKS WHAT WILL I DO RESPECT AUTHORITY SCREW AUTHORITY IF MOM HAS LUNG CANCER WHAT WILL

It sounded like a telegraph key, a telegraph key of people screaming in her head. Daria grabbed her ears and she screamed. She screamed to God, just make the pain go away!! Make the pain go away!!!

Make the voices go away...!!

(la la LA la la)

"Jane?"

Jane leaned over to Daria in the hospital bed. "Daria! Daria!! You're awake!!"

"Yeah...yeah...my head...my head hurts..."

**Daria I thought you were going to die please don't die please don't die I'll go to church and pray just don't let Daria die**

"OW! They're back!"

"What's back?"

Daria looked at Jane. "The voices. The voices are coming back!"

**Daria...you're not going crazy are you?**

"I don't know. I don't know if I'm going crazy or not. I could have sworn though...today, I thought I was. There were a thousand people screaming in my head. I just seem...quiet."

**I'd be quiet too if I'm on sedatives**

"What am I on?" Daria's eyes got wide. "Did they put me on something? Something to knock me out? To make me go even loonier? They put me on looney pills?!?"

Jane's jaw dropped. "Daria...I didn't say anything to you. Nothing at all."

**Can you hear me now? Daria, are you hearing me in your head?**

Daria looked at Jane in the oddest way. "Jane..."

Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Jane...I could hear it. I could hear what you were thinking. I...I was in...I was in your mind...I..."

Jane gasped. "That's...that's not even possible."

Daria swallowed. "Think of something. Anything."

"Uh...okay." **apples and uranium**

"World's most radioactive dessert?"

"Holy." Jane sat down. "Holy, holy, holy..."

"You don't need to complete that thought. I can probably do it for you."

**this is really really creepy**

"Tell me about it."

"Hey!" said Jane. "It's really...uh...stay out of my head, will you? I've got a lot of stuff in there that I don't want to tell anyone about. Not even you."

"I'm trying, Jane. I really am. I think of that story where the two kids were told they could have any of their wishes come true as long as they didn't think of a blue bear. And here I am, trying not to think of a blue bear."

"How's your headache?"

"It comes and it goes. I just feel...exhausted. Even when I was knocked out, I was hearing whispers. People talking about me. But not really talking. Where are Mom and Dad?"

"They went home. It's three AM, amiga. You're alone now. You should be safe."

"I'm not safe, Jane. Jane...could you think something else?"

**I will be here for you all night. I will be there for you whatever it takes. Whatever, whenever, however.**

Daria smiled. "Thanks," she said, almost choking up. "I could feel that. I could feel that you meant it. But...I don't know what I'm going to do, now. I can't go back to Lawndale. I can't face those voices again."

"You don't have to go back. Run away. Hide out at my house."

"You know Mom. If Mom knew...if she knew I was hearing voices, she'd send me to the best institutes in the world. They'd have wires inserted in every orifice, and they'd probably do a lobotomy on me or have me on a hundred pills a day."

**i wish my mom cared that much she would never be here for me**

Daria said nothing. Jane did not want Daria in her head. Daria regretted that she had invaded Jane's thoughts. She had trespassed on her best friend's mind. Daria decided to say nothing at all.

"Hey, amiga. You got hit by lightning. You had a nosebleed, your blood pressure went nuclear, and they thought you had a stroke. That has to be good for a few days in the hospital and another week out of school. Milk it! Milk it all you can!"

"Jane...if what's happening is what I think is happening...I don't know if I can live with it."

"Don't even think that. Shut up. You'll get through. I'll get your through. Go back to sleep. I'm puffing up your pillow."

Jane walked over to Daria's bed and puffed up the pillow. She let Daria rest and wonder off into sleep. The sedatives were working. Jane walked out of the room. She didn't want Daria to "hear" her think that she'd tell Helen about Daria's pain and that she needed more sedation. Daria needed rest, and Jane would make sure she got it...even if she had to lie.

Daria had...changed. Jane would deal with it later. First things first. Always the here and now.

(la la LA la la)

It was a lonely day for Quinn Morgendorffer.

Mom, Dad, Daria, and Daria's art friend were all at Cedars of Lawndale. Daria had had a nosebleed, some kind of breakdown where she was shaking and screaming. Quinn's first thoughts were about if Daria was all right, and as soon as the family knew she would be okay, Quinn's immediate thought concerned her embarrassment. Sandi Griffin had a smile a mile wide the day that Daria had to have EMS come and pick her up. Undoubtedly, this would affect her popularity, and in a bad way.

As long as no one was home, Quinn could shower in private. No knocks on the door, no Daria waiting to use the bathroom. No phone calls. She had already finished up with Sandi, Stacy and Tiffany. They would all call back again later in the day, so she had something very rare...down time, alone.

Quinn hated being alone. Her mind only really worked well in the presence of other people. She could almost feel the emptiness inside her if there was no conversation.

The shower was turned on as hot as she could make the water. The small Jack and Jill bathroom soon turned into a sauna. It was good to exfoliate and open the pores. She could then have the luxury of a cornucopia of skin care products for the rest of the day until Mom and Dad got back.

Quinn wrapped a towel around her head, put on her white bathrobe and walked into her carpeted room to find some new clothes.

-pop-

Quinn had stepped on something. She looked down at her feet. Pink toenail polish. She lifted both feet. Nothing down there. She went on.

-pop- step –pop-

It sounded like bubble wrap being broken. What in the world--?

-pop- -pop- -pop-

No, it definitely sounded like Model Crunch. Every time Quinn stepped forward, she heard that popping noise.

-pop-! That time, her feet tingled. Now Quinn knew what it was! Elementary Science! It was static electricity! Wet feet, brushing against carpet. Or like when you pull a sweater out of the closet. Sometimes you could even hear the crack if you touched a doornob. Daria used to smidge her feet against the carpet and put her finger on Quinn's ear to shock her.

Quinn took off the towel, and sat on the bed. She began to dry her feet with the towel.

As she dried off her feet, small blue arcs of energy danced around her fingertips as she rubbed the towel. They were like little tiny lightning bolts crossing and arcing around her hands and feet.

It didn't hurt, though.

She did it again. She watched, fascinated, as the spikes of electricity danced between her toes. As she rubbed her feet harder, the spikes grew in length and they seemed to dance across her foot even faster.

Quinn dropped the towel. Did she just do...what she thought she did?

She put out her hands. A small arc of electricity jumped from the ring finger on her left hand to the thumb of her right hand.

Quinn then put both of her hand together, facing each other. Arcs danced from fingertip to fingertip. Quinn watched, fascinated. With her willpower. she encouraged more arcs, dancing higher. She watched, mouth open as her hair slowly began to stand up.

An arc escaped control of her hands and traveled to the stuffed animals on her bed. It blew a penny sized hole in the head of a stuffed puppy.

Quinn gasped. She shoved her hands in her bathrobe. Then she took out a hand.

She let the arcs of electricity dance, slowly, then more slowly and with less intensity. She blew, softly, and let them go out like a candle.

It was a puppy that Joey had got her. She didn't really like it all that much, he was so grabby that night afterwards.

Quinn then got a wicked idea.

(la la LA la la)

Fully dressed, Quinn put the stuffed puppy out at the edge of the lawn. She looked to her right, left, center, up, down, making sure that no one else was watching what was going on.

She decided to let go. To see if she was really hallucinating or not. To see if she could do it.

She aimed her arms...and waited.

One second...two seconds...three seconds...??

The power wave jumped from Quinn's arms. It touched every neuron in her body, from the top of her head to her most private, intimate places. It lept out of both of Quinn's arms and right to its intended target, Joey's stuffed puppy.

It was powerful enough to knock Quinn off her feet.

Quinn got up. She felt...ecstatic, felt really good, like it felt when you were kissing a guy and you really, really liked it and you felt yourself getting carried away a bit. It was a great physical release. A guilty pleasure, a secret joy.

She walked over to where the puppy was. The puppy was gone.

As she walked closer, she saw a scorched area on the ground, about 12 feet wide. There was nothing there but burning grass and what appeared to be dandelions floating in the air. It was then that she realized that it was burnt stuffed puppy particles.

Quinn looked at her hand one last time. She made a little arc of electricity fly up, then disappear.

It was at this moment that Quinn realized something. No one else could do this. She had a special secret gift. A power.

QUINN MORGENDORFFER WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT GIRL IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!

She almost squealed. It was so great. She was so cool!! Look what she had done!! She forgot about Daria being in the hospital! This was just so...fantastic! She could make electricity just leap out of her body!!

It was a real rush! And she was going to do great things with it!!


	3. 1:3 Lawndale Power and Light

Quinn Morgendorffer whistled to herself. She hated to admit it, but she had not missed Daria at all during the past week while Daria was staying at the hospital again. The doctors had not found any abnormal brain activity with their machines – Quinn could tell the doctors a story or two about Daria's abnormal brain.

So Daria was coming back home. Quinn had put the dishes away, taken out the trash, and did all the skut work that Helen had asked her to do. It was the only benefit of Daria's return that Quinn no longer had to do the work of two people.

Quinn, however, had been far from bored.

She had new bedside reading material, namely, "A Guide to Electricity for Dummies" and "The Junior Scientist's Manual". She hated to think of herself as a dummy, but she was a sophomore, so the scientist's manual was one grade level above hers, and easy to read, too!

If anyone had taken a peek inside, they would have found, in addition to Quinn's two fuzzy looking sable bookmarks, a lot of pink and purple highlighted passages. Since she had been given this really cool power, she was going to learn as much as she could about it, as she had to get those books back to the library in two weeks.

But the fun part of life was the old Lawndale Quarry. Talk to the parents. Say hi to Daria. Call Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany. Schedule "dates" for the future. And, while they all think you're at Chez Pierre, sneak off and light up the world. In the literal sense.

(la la LA la la)

Jake pulled the Lexus into the Citgo gas station. Helen sat in the front seat while Daria and Jane sat together in the back. Helen was doing enough talking for the three of them. Jane remained quiet, and Daria sat motionless, eyes closed behind her glasses.

Whistling "Jellico Songs for Jellico Cats", Jake put his Visa card into the card reader.

ERROR – SWIPE CARD AGAIN.

Jake stopped whistling. Annoyed, he tried it again.

ERROR – SWIPE CARD AGAIN.

"Lousy damn Visa card! Helen! I need another card!"

"What's wrong Jake? It's stripey side to the left!"

"I know it's stripey side to the left!"

"Well then you have the card in upside down!"

"I do not!"

"Oooooo!" Helen sighed. "Your father!…Daria, how are you feeling?"

"You'd better take Dad inside. I think I have a migraine coming on."

"Of course, honey." Helen smiled, trying to make Daria happy. "Shall I get you something to drink, Jane?"

"No thanks."

With that, Helen went to console Jake, who was now arguing with the pump as the other patrons began to back towards their cars, slowly.

Alone in the car, Jane turned to Daria. "Migraines, hm?"

"That's what the doctors call it. I don't think it's a real migraine. But it might as well be one. At least when things get bad, I can call it a migraine and stay in my room with the lights off."

"Did your Dad set it off?" Jane was concerned.

"Yeah. I can deal with Mom. I just have to never think of a blue bear. I recite Lewis Carroll backwards in my head and I can shut her out completely. Dad…Dad just _overwhelms_ me. He's filled with anger and fear all the time. I don't have much of a defense against those people."

"Gee." Jane didn't know what to say. "Do you think you can go back to Lawndale High?"

"To be honest…no. And I don't think this 'Imitrex' is going to help me any." Daria sighed. "It's always someone else's lack of brain power that proves to be my downfall."

"At least you'll be home with Quinn. No brains there to bother you."

"Maybe we could invite the Fashion Club over. I could learn brainlessness from the masters. Take lessons from Kevin."

"Eh," said Jane, "I'd rather have the headaches."

(la la LA la la)

Scented potpourri. Flowers. Air freshener. Daria's homecoming would be complete. Quinn was almost giddy at the prospect, for her own reasons. Too bad Daria would never notice any of the home touches.

The doorbell rang. Quinn bounced over to greet everyone.

"Hiiiii!!" An outsider would have thought that Quinn was the perfect loving daughter.

"Quinn, the place looks wonderful!" said Helen. "Don't you think so, Daria?"

"Meh."

**:-hee hee I've got a secret I've got a secret I've got a secret I've got a secret…!!!-:**

Quinn chattered a streak. "Hey, Daria! I put up black curtains in your room, because I know that you li-ike everything in black! And I'll keep quiet so you don't suffer from any migraines!!"

Daria started to worry. "Uh…thanks, Quinn. I'll do the same!"

"Who's up for some dinner from Chef Jake?" said Jake.

"What's Chef Jake cooking?" said Jane. Anything was better than what was home.

**:-I can't wait to get out of here and get down to the quarry where I can try my cool stuff out-:**

Daria stayed quiet. She thought, "Cool stuff?" Now, she was intrigued. This gave her the opportunity to get Quinn in serious trouble, and that always brought a smile to Daria's face. Whatever Quinn was into now, it probably broke every Family Court rule in the book.

"Chef Jake's barbecue ribs with special Jake sauce!"

"I think I'd stay for just the sauce!" said Jane.

"Jake, remember the last time you made ribs? And everyone got sick?"

**:-I could cook up those ribs in a jiffy with what I can do now it is so awesome and I am so cool-:**

"Not everyone! Four people is not 'everyone'!!"

**:-weird sounds of buzzes, zaps, and pops-:**

"Mom…Dad…I'm starting to get a major headache. And I think I need Jane's help to get up the stairs."

"See Jake?" shouted Helen. "See what you did?"

"My ribs aren't that bad!!"

Jane held Daria's shoulder as the two of them sought the comfort of Daria's room. Daria liked the black wall-length curtains but she'd never tell Quinn that. Helen and Jake continued the argument about Jake's cooking skills.

Jane growled. "What's going on, amiga? I almost had ribs!"

"Shhh!!" Daria shushed Jane into silence as she flipped off the light switch.

"Sorry!" whispered Jane.

"I don't know what the hell's going on with Quinn…but she's hiding something."

"You read her mind?"

"I couldn't help it. She's the easiest person on earth to shut out. Trust me, Quinn's mind is too small a place for any human to be trapped in. During her thankfully brief visits while I was laid out, I turned off Quinn's fashion broadcasts. But right now, her thinking is too damn perky to be stopped. It's some kind of secret that involves hanging out at the quarry."

"Cliff diving?"

"She's making a lot of weird noises in her head too, like sound effects. You know what they say, Jane. 'Curiosity filled the cat'. I intend to find out what's going on out there. And that means following her."

"And you need me for…?"

"Moral support."

"You're just afraid of the quarry."

"That, too."

(la la LA la la)

Daria was home no longer than three days when the opportunity presented itself.

"Quinn, leaving so soon?" Helen looked in the refrigerator for her power drink.

"I have a study session with Stacy!"

Daria raised an eyebrow. "Study session with Stacy? That's an oxymoron. No, that's just two morons."

Quinn giggled. "You'll have to study too, Daria, with all that school you've been missing! Later!"

**:-quarry day!! time to zap a puppy!!-:**

Daria blinked. "What a what?"

Helen turned to Daria. "What did you say?"

"Uh…nothing. And I now have a splitting headache. I suggest that no one bother me. For a few hours, at least. I'll send up a flare if I need anything."

Daria left the room as Helen searched for her drink. Daria then reentered the room, grabbed a bag of potato chips, and some pop tarts. Suitably fortified, she then went to call Jane.

(la la LA la la)

\brinnnng\

Jane picked up the phone. "Hello?"

(static)

"Hello? Dammit!" Jane slammed down the phone. CDs weren't working. All of her good video tapes had been erased. Prank phone calls, sometimes a dial tone, sometimes no one on the line at all. Her hard drive had crashed that afternoon and it looked like a complete system meltdown, nothing but the black screen of death. Maybe Daria could fix it.

"Who would be calling?" thought Jane. "The band? None of Trent's friends can afford a phone. It's got to be Daria." Jane put on her jacket and prepared to go over on the off chance.

As she left the kitchen, she heard a horrible crash behind her. Jane ran into the kitchen. Maybe Trent had left something on the kitchen table. Maybe the weak leg needed to be propped up with some more coasters.

It was the utensil drawer. It was wide open, and the cutlery was all over the floor. Jane figured she'd clean it up later. No sense it giving it a second thought.

(la la LA la la)

"Zap a puppy?" Jane continued chewing on the pop tart.

"I have no idea what that means." The two continued walking past the entrance to the old quarry and Daria slid between the gate and the chain link fence, holding the gap open for Jane. "Maybe it's drugs. Like 'smoke a bowl'? Quinn on drugs would be a waste of drugs."

"Maybe it means something else," said Jane, shoving the remaining pop tart in her pocket. "Like, I don't know, 'choke your chicken'…'flick the bean'…."

"Stop that."

**flicking the bean sounds really good…it's been a while**

Daria turned red. Jane's thought wasn't meant to be read by anybody. She hoped Jane didn't notice.

"Uh…how are we going to find Quinn?" said Jane.

"I don't know. I thought we'd get some fishing line and drag a Cashman's platinum card through the quarry. This place is really creepy. I heard that there were gangs out here."

"There aren't any gangs out here." Jane snorted.

**if you met anyone out here you didn't know you'd wet your pants**

"Let's get this over with." Daria was insulted by Jane's thought. Too many people drove Daria crazy. And now, too few people. She figured this had to be a bad idea.

The walk was interrupted by the loud sound of rocks crashing to earth from somewhere in the distance.

"Blasting?" asked Daria.

"They closed this place before I was born. I'll bet that's Quinn!"

(la la LA la la)

Daria and Jane turned the corner from behind the hill. Quinn had set out some paper plates at varying distances several yards from her backpack. She was happily humming to herself as she worked.

"Is she reliving her inner childhood?" said Jane. "Is Mr. Wiggly going to have tea?"

Quinn pulled out a stuffed pig from her backpack.

"One lump of sugar, or two?" whispered Daria. "C'mon, let's sneak up on her and scare the crap out of her. Quinn will jump fifty feet."

Quinn was lost in the moment. The two girls crept up from their ground cover. Quinn placed the stuffed pig near her feet.

Daria and Jane crept closer behind her. Quinn paid no attention to the soft noices. Daria and Jane were about twelve feet away…closer…closer.

Quinn's pupils constricted.

Quinn aimed her left arm at a plate on the left side. Pointing her finger, blue lightning shot out of her fingertips, igniting the plate.

Cocking her finger like a gun, a more powerful bolt from her right index finger fried another plate. She aimed at the plate further in the distance, and fried it, too. Bullseye!!

Quinn turned, aiming her left finger at the plate in her far field of vision. She crouched down, like a tiger, and zapped.

MISSED IT!!

"Gaahhhh!!!" squealed Quinn. She aimed both arms at the plate, a furious lightning display causing small pebbles to leap up yards away from her. The plate evaporated in the onslaught.

Quinn then grabbed the pig, and threw it as far as she could. She followed its path with her eyes, aimed both index fingers like guns – and two ugly looking arcs of bluish electricity soon found their targets.

Mr. Wiggly was now bacon. Nothing was left of him but his hooves.

"Wooooo!!!" Quinn felt like she ruled the world.

Daria and Jane stood behind an oblivious Quinn. They were completely slack jawed.

Quinn turned around to her backpack. It was then that she noticed the two intruders. Her limited emotional range went from surprise to confusion to fury.

"What---are YOU doing here?!?"

Jane was caught by surprise. "I…uh…I…!"

"Don't sneak up on me!" Quinn screamed. "I could have killed the both of you!!"

** QUINN, you're a MORON. With a capital M! **

Quinn blinked. "I…I'm not a moron!! And who are you to talk to me like that, Daria?"

** If I were a paper plate, I'd be scared! Did you know how stupid this is? What if you get caught? What are you going to tell anyone? What are you going to say? **

"I can take care of myself!" Quinn shouted to a furious looking Daria. "I'd say…I'd…wait a minute!" Quinn looked weak. "You…you said it…but…you didn't move your mouth! You didn't say anything!"

** Oh shit. **

"What the hell is going on here?" said Jane. Each of the three girls was as perplexed as the two others. It would be many awkward minutes of silence. Finally, Daria and Jane decided to leave. Quinn followed.

(la la LA la la)

The three of them had reconvened in Daria's room. Few words were exchanged between the three of them until the door was closed.

Jane was resentful. "I only thought you could read minds, Daria. I didn't know you could talk to someone only using your mind."

** I didn't know either. Leave it to Quinn. She pissed me off, and I thought she was a moron. Quinn has the power to bring out the worst in me. **

"I have a whole lot more power than that! I've been practicing!"

** Are you going to go to work for Lawndale Power and Light? A hard hat isn't fashionable. That's too much power for someone of your limited intelligence to deal with. **

"At least I keep it to myself and don't go sneaking off into someone's head! That's just like you! I remember when you found my diary and sold the pages for five cents a copy! Well, I've got a thought you can read!"

Daria turned red. She squinted. Quinn could barely choke back a response, turning an even redder shade.

"All right, that's it!" shouted Jane. "Stop cutting me out!!"

Daria sighed. She lay on the floor, face up, finally covering her face with a pillow. "Crap, what are we going to do? My stupid sister is going to ruin it for all of us. In a week, they'll surround the house with torches!"

"I can be discreet!"

"Shut up, shut up the two of you! I'm sick of the fighting! You should just be glad that you're alive!!" Jane prepared to leave. She had had enough.

"Okay, so you can read minds, Daria." Quinn stood up. "Big frigging deal. So can you read minds, too, Jane?"

Jane stopped. It was the thought that bothered her, and had diminished her. She had barely come to grips about Daria. She had just learned about Quinn. And the scary thought is that she didn't know what she could do at all…if anything.

(la la LA la la)

"Why am I out here?" asked Quinn. The sheer walls of the old quarry surrounded the three girls.

"I brought some suitable reading material," said Daria. She tossed her backpack to Quinn. Quinn unzipped it. Jane wondered if Daria was having another conversation with Quinn.

"Comic books? Eww! Geek!!"

"Shut up. We have to figure out what Jane can do…if she could do anything."

Jane smiled. "Maybe I'm the sidekick. I get to wear a mask and tiny little trunks."

"You wish," said Daria. "We'll start with the obvious. Flight." She pointed to a rock. "That's ten feet. Think you can climb it?" Daria took out a pad and a piece of paper.

"I've got nothing else to do today." It was a good thing Jane brought her workout clothes. Maybe it would take the mind off how little sleep she had gotten.

…

Daria kept her stopwatch running. Jane looked red.

"I don't think she has the power to hold her breath," said Quinn, dryly. Jane finally choked for air, panting rapidly.

"Nothing," said Daria. "No flight. No strength. No speed. No endurance."

"No kidding!" moaned Jane. She had the bruises to prove it. Trying to lift those rocks almost killed her.

"No mind powers. No X-ray vision. None of the comic book powers in the books, and none of the handful of powers that Quinn could think of. And no, 'super cuteness' is not a power."

"Just be glad – pant – just be glad I can't summon demons. Is that even a real ability? Dammit Daria, who reads comic books about that?" Jane sighed, and flopped to the dusty ground. "I've got to have some sleep."

"Trent keep you up all night?"

"No. He went to practice somewhere with 'better vibes'. I can't get any rest. I haven't gotten any sleep for two days. Stabbing pains in my back."

"Maybe it's Jane's special ability!" squealed Quinn.

"Back pain? I doubt it." said Daria.

"Let me take a look at your back!" said Quinn as she walked over to Jane.

"You'd better be careful. I have an ugly rash. You might catch it. I'm showering like crazy, but it doesn't go away. It's probably a burn from the accident."

Quinn pulled up the back of Jane's shirt. Daria watched Quinn at her ministrations.

"Riiiiiight…." said Quinn. It was not what she had expected to see.

"What? What is it?"

Jane's back was covered with scratches. Adhered to her back, just under her bra clasp, was a metal fork. Jane had been scratched with it multiple times, and had drawn some blood.

Quinn pulled at the fork. The fork didn't want to move. Quinn pulled the flat end of the fork away from Jane's back, but she could feel magnetic resistance, an invisible line of attraction between Jane's body and the fork. Quinn let go, and the fork slapped against Jane's back.

"What the hell are you doing back there?" said Jane.

"Uh…Daria…I think I just solved the problem." She knew that Junior Scientist's Manual would pay off someday.


	4. 1:4 Shady Acres

Jane Lane was alone.

Trent had gone off to another gig. It was 3:20 am. Daria was asleep. School would start in just a few hours.

A small sheet of plexiglass Jane bought that morning from the art supply store rested on two pedestals made of paperback books. Jane ran her fingers over the undersurface of the plastic sheet. Above, the collection of iron filings danced, stood on end, and mirrored the movements of Jane's fingers in strange and beautiful ways. She had spent hours making art, this incredible art, with merely the fingertips of her hands. Jane wondered what she could do with some colored iron filings. Ms. Defoe might know the answer to that question.

It explained just about everything that had happened...the loss of her hard drive, Trent's ruined speakers, and all other kinds of weird phenomena. Jane knew that from now on she would have to take more of a notice of the world around her and not be so lost in her own thoughts.

As for putting this power to some use, she had some large ball bearings from another art project. She could make them rise, fall, jump. She found that she could "aim" this power like Quinn aimed her powers over electricity, but when she was hit in the face with an aluminum can, she knew that she would have to gain better control over it.

Evenings at the quarry with Quinn Morgendorffer. Wonderful. At least Daria would be there.

Poor Daria. If someone gave Quinn any trouble, they would be roasted like a fried chicken, and Jane could chuck a pocket full of ball bearings at them, but Daria was wide open to the world.

**Daria can you hear me right now? if you can hear me answer me. I'm at home right now.**

Nothing. Jane figured that she might as well tried to levitate Jake's Lexus from her bedroom window as to have Daria hear her from this distance.

Jane thought that if she did have amazing powers like the Morgendorffer Sisters, then she wouldn't feel isolated like when Daria and Quinn were thinking nasty thoughts at each other. Instead, she was amazed by her magnetic powers, then amused, then...puzzled. Instead of answering one question, Jane found herself asking several more.

The computer was gone. Everything metal was gone out of her room, down to the basement. She wondered if she attracted objects in her sleep. She wondered if some piece of random sharp scrap metal wouldn't slam her in the face and rip her head off. She wondered if she'd walk past some iron fence and suddenly find herself trapped there, like a fly to flypaper.

All sorts of terrifying scenarios suddenly began racing through her head. Guns going off as she walked by. Her arm attracted to the metal gears of a sink's trash compactor. Each one worse than the next.

She resolved to sleep. And sleep came, but only in fits.

(la la LA la la)

"So Jane", said Jodie, "when will Daria be back to school?"

**probably never** "Well, the doctors are still running tests. I think. Daria just sort of mutters under her breath when we talk about it."

"Well," said Jodie. "Let her know that we're thinking of her, okay? I sent a card."

"Yeah, she got it. And the card from Brittany, too. That was a surprise. So if you see Brittany, tell her thanks." **and don't add the part about Daria ripping on that cutesy card**

"No problem. Jane...are you okay?"

**sure, why not?** "Yeah, I'm holding up. I talk to Daria all the time. Everything's copacetic."

"Cool. Well, my lunch break is over. I have to get back to class. See you in Mr. DeMartino's, okay?"

Jane watched Jodie walk out. Everything was most definitely not okay. Jane had been watching the movement of almost every metal object that she walked by. She had begun to develop a fear of lockers. Innocent lockers that had never done anything to her before. Jane imagined a thousand metal objects, scissors, knives, compasses, leaping suddenly from the open doors of a hundred lockers and stabbing her to death.

Stifling a yawn, Jane played with the garlic mashed potatoes on her plate. There was a high pitched squeal of laughter from the popular kids' table.

"So Yolanda, Yolanda mind you, she comes up to me and she asks, 'Quinn, how much money would it take me to look better!' Money! As if money could just buy good looks and if just being fashionable was something for rich people! Clewwww-less!! She just doesn't get it!"

"If there's anything I can't stand", said Sandi, "it's these dumb poseurs thinking that a platinum card at Cashman's can solve all their problems! They look like a 50 percent sale rack!" The hangers on all chuckled.

"Of course, being really cute has a lot to do with genetics! But these girls just don't take care of themselves! I should have said, 'Yolanda, you want to look nicer? Get rid of those overalls! They make your butt look giii-gantic!!"

The Fashion Club members and their female hangers on, Brooke, Heidi, and the rest of the herd laughed madly at Yolanda's misfortune. Jane was sure that Quinn was having no problems with her new abilities. **Because you'd have to have a brain first for it to bother you.** Quinn probably slept wonderfully at night. Quinn's prowess was a gift from God to Quinn for being so cute and wonderful.

"Gee Quinn," sniffed Sandi, "I hope that you're not doling out fashion advice to the clearly unfashionable like Yolanda. As it says in the Fashion Club By-Laws, 'some people can't be helped'. I certainly hope that you are not out to sabotage the Fashion Club by elevating the clueless with your useful command of the fashion basics. It would make us look very bad!" Sandi's lower mouth turned into a straight line.

Quinn turned red for a split second, then shifted into automatic gear. "Oh, Sandi! I would never make someone over without your approval!!" Quinn smiled her 100 watt smile. Sandi appeared to be mollified, and gave an almost imperceptible nod of her head. There was a split second of silence, then one of the freshmen asked a low ball fashion question for Sandi to confidently knock out of the park.

Jane returned to her potatoes, disgusted. She didn't know if she could deal with Quinn. Hell, Daria's duplicitous little sister couldn't even be trusted. Good looking and completely insincere, a sharper version of Tiffany.

It was then that the most terrifying thought of all crossed Jane's mind. And with that, Jane lost her appetite.

(la la LA la la)

Daria sat on her bed. Jane finished up her conversation.

"I know that you can keep a secret. You know that I can keep a secret. And we're both pretty good at keeping secrets to ourselves. Not Quinn. The first time Sandi Griffin grills her, she'll tell the Fashion Club everything."

"Or our parents anything, if Mom suspects anything. Or...damn. She'd probably tell everyone at school if she thought it would make her even more popular."

"And if the world knows about Quinn..."

"..then they know about us, too." Daria sighed. "Great. One more thing to worry about."

Jane squirmed. "Uh...I've been thinking about that, myself."

"I'm sorry, but it's too late to abort Quinn."

"No. The bad part is that if Quinn tried something like that, it would probably blow up in her face."

Daria nodded. Daria believed than Quinn and responsibility were foreign concepts. "So what's your secret master plan?"

"We might have to get out of here. We might have to leave."

Daria's face betrayed nothing. Jane could then hear a slow exhalation of air, like a tire leaking. "Where to?"

"I don't know. Hit the road. Ride boxcars, something."

"Get molested."

"I think I can take care of myself," said Jane.

"And me too?" Daria looked offended.

"All right. We'll get jobs. We'll be entertainers, like in the Spider-Man movie!"

"That might work. But we're also minors. And when Mom sees us on TV, we'll all be sent packing to Guantanamo."

"Okay," said Jane. "A life on the run! Like Harrison Ford!"

"Let's hope not." Daria thought. "Quinn. Quinn has a fake ID. Therefore, we need fake ID's. Phony driver's licenses to slow down any inquiries. At least, until we get settled."

Jane was happy that Daria had settled on something and was being less disagreeable. She let Daria confidently discuss how easy it would be to get these IDs and what they could do with them. Jane smiled. She worried she was just being like Quinn, smilling to get what she wanted.

(la la LA la la)

Daria, Jane, and Quinn had made the quarry their home away from home. Quinn was determined that if it were a home away from home, it would be clean, and she made Daria and Jane bring trashbags with them to pick up litter. If Quinn got her hands dirty, then everyone would get their hands dirty.

After fifteen minutes of cleaning up beer cans, paper, and other assorted garbage, Daria and Quinn opened their backpacks. They were jammed with staplers, small statues, hole punchers, every metal object they could carry without breaking their backs.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" said Daria.

"Well...as ready as I'm going to be," said Jane.

Quinn smiled. Daria pulled out a hole punch.

"Think fast!!" Daria hurled the hole punch at Jane's torso, hoping not to hit her in the face with it by mistake.

She missed by twenty feet. It didn't matter. Jane extended her arm, and the hole punch remained suspended in mid air, then dropped to the floor of the rock canyon.

"I hope you have better aim, Quinn!"

"Watch!!" Quinn threw an old clock at Jane, with an analog dial and two large bells. Quinn's aim was better, but the clock could only get within four feet of Jane before Jane stopped it. The clock slowed down in mid-path, and Jane let it drop.

"Yeahh!!" The other two continued to throw random objects at Jane, with Jane blocking anything she could see with ease. Jane felt she was getting better.

Quinn whispered to Daria. "Let's she how Jane does if we try more than one object!!"

"O...kay," whispered Daria. Better to know now than later.

The sisters threw two objects at once. Jane had to focus on each object separately, but smiled as she could stop the objects. "Is that all you've got, ladies?!" she shouted, doing her best impression of Ms. Morris.

Daria and Quinn laughed. Forgetting themselves, they began throwing things as fast as they possibly could.

"HEY!!" shouted Jane, almost pelted with a stapler stopped only six inches away from her head as she was able to repel it. She crouched, instinctively, and tried to repel anything metal thrown at her without seeing it.

It worked. Metal objects were flying away once they reached an invisible line of force six inches away from her.

Jane extended the aura and stood up. Two feet. Three feet. She got up to four feet before she felt it weaken. Daria and Quinn were exasperated. There was no point in continuing. Nothing metal was going to touch Jane if she didn't want it to.

"This was a great idea!!" Jane was feeling very giddy. "Nothing can stop me now! Had enough, ladies?" Jane playfully picked up a stapler with her powers, threatening to throw it at either Daria or Quinn.

Quinn crouched down and aimed her own power. A blue bolt of electricity not only fried the stapler, it crawled up the magnetic field surrounding Jane's body. Jane was covered in a spray of blue arcs which turned all sorts of colors as the electricity swirled around the magnetic field. Dizzy, Jane fell backwards.

"Jane!!" Daria ran over to her fallen friend. "Jane!!"

Jane turned over and smiled. "I don't think I even felt that. That much, anyway." Jane felt part of Quinn's bolt -- it was clearly a shock -- but not all of it, not enough to incinerate her. It was something worth knowing. Perhaps, at full magnetic force, Jane could protect herself from Quinn if that had to happen. "Don't freak out, Daria. We were just playing!"

"Jane, Jane, I swear to God I didn't know that was going to happen!!" Quinn looked really upset.

"Eh, don't worry your pointed head about it." Jane smiled. Quinn, switching emotions instantly, stuck out her tongue.

"Hey Quinn," said Daria, "do you still have your fake ID?"

"Yeah, sure." Quinn needed it to go bar hopping.

"Care if we take a look at it?"

(la la LA la la)

Daria and Jane looked at their prizes.

"I can't believe that Quinn paid five hundred dollars for these." Jane looked at her Lawndale Driver's License, certifiying before God and all the powers of the earth that she was twenty-one. "Where the hell did Quinn get five hundred dollars?"

Daria looked carefully. "You can even make out the hologram. I think it was worth it. Although...that's the end of my Montana cabin money."

"Uh...I'm sorry I only had one hundred dollars."

"Consider that twenty years worth of birthday presents, Lane. The good news is that we have some documentation. The bad news is that we have no money if we needed to go somewhere."

The fact was, neither Daria nor Jane could decide upon any kind of plan. Every scenario had been floated by and was picked apart by Daria or Jane. Both were extremely tenative. They knew they might need to escape Lawndale someday, but dreaded the prospect so much that they found it impossible to commit to a true plan.

The girls agreed that they would think some more about it tomorrow. They figured they had a month at the least.

(la la LA la la)

It was 11 pm. Bedtime. Quinn, in her pajamas, was dosing off to sleep.

The door opened from the hallway. "Quinn?"

It was Mom.

"Uh...Mom...what?"

"I need to talk to you."

FEAR.

"Can it wait?"

"I'm afraid not. It's very important."

Quinn walked down the stairs in her pajamas and pajama top. Helen was in her nightgown and Jake was in his pajamas. They were sitting in the living room.

"Uh..."

"It's a family meeting, Quinn. And Daria is to stay asleep."

(la la LA la la)

Helen had laid out the case before Quinn, patiently, legally, the ultimate combination of mother and lawyer.

"The neurologists have not been able to find anything wrong with Daria. However...one of the interns mentioned a diagnosis that he said we'd have to consider sooner or later. I was furious when I heard it first. But now...it seems to make a lot more sense.

"When Daria broke down for the first time, she said that she was hearing voices in her head. And Quinn, I didn't want to tell you this because I thought it would scare you...but the nursing staff at the hospital said that Daria had mentioned voices when she was first admitted. She had to be sedated to get her to sleep.

"Daria has always been socially withdrawn. We both know that she's great at manipulating people to do what she wants them to. And now she spends more and more of her time alone in her bedroom!"

"But Jane and I take Daria out all the time!"

"I know, Quinn. And you've been wonderful for thinking of your sister. Has she mentioned hearing the voices...to you?"

"No." Quinn didn't like where this was going. Quinn knew that it was smart of Mom to ask her because Jane would have never admitted the truth. Quinn now felt small and weak.

"Still..the doctors..." Helen almost hated saying the word. Jake looked away, ashamed, as if he had done something wrong.

"We have to rule out...schizophrenia. Mental illness. Daria might have a serious problem. Many people with schizophrenia report hearing the voices for the first time when they're teenagers. I don't want Daria to hurt herself. I want to see that Daria gets better!"

Quinn knew her Mom was trying to convince herself. "But Mom! Daria's not crazy! She's just...geeky!!"

"I don't want you using that word, Quinn! 'Crazy'. I know Daria hasn't been taking what the doctors have given her for her migraines. I know that Daria is going to resist any type of treatment. She'll react the same way that you're reacting right now, Quinn. You have that luxury. I'm her mother. I don't have that luxury."

Helen straightened her spine. "Tomorrow, we'll be taking Daria to Shady Acres for treatment."

THE CRAZY HOUSE. "You can't!"

"Quinn...if there's nothing wrong, Daria will be back home in two or three months. She'll be furious. But she'll be back home, and we'll know one way or the other if schizophrenia is a possibilty.

"This is going to happen, Quinn, and I want you to be prepared for it. Tomorrow, you are going to get up and go to school. Jake and I are going to stay home. I don't know what excuse we'll make to get Daria in the car, but I've already found a doctor who has agreed to treat Daria."

Helen sighed. "Do you think this is easy for me, Quinn? Do you?"

"I...!"

"They'll do a battery of tests on her. I'll be there every day that I can. You will, too, Quinn. This is not a condemnation of your sister. You have to understand that. But I can't let things go on the way they've been going."

"Quinn, honey!" said Jake, sweetly. "Daria's going to be okay!"

"Yes. Daria is going to be okay and all of us are going to pitch in. I just want you to know, sweetie, that...you might not be seeing your sister for a little while."

(la la LA la la)

THE CRAZY HOUSE. The crazy house. The crazy house.

They are taking Daria to THE CRAZY HOUSE. Quinn shuddered in her bed, unable to sleep. Quinn knew that Daria would never come out the same. Having to hear a bunch of crazy people talking in your head all day would drive you crazy. Quinn knew she wouldn't be able to take it, which meant that Daria, of course, was doomed.

If Daria escapes...that was it. She would tell Daria and Daria would have a chance to get out of the house.

But Helen and Jake would know who tipped off Daria.

And Quinn would be in a world of trouble. They'd come after Jane, too.

No. Quinn was not going to let it happen. She hated Daria, but Daria was also her sister. Daria would blame Quinn for the rest of her life if she thought that Quinn was in on it.

Quinn stood up. She wondered if Helen and Jake were asleep, or if they would hear the bathroom door of the Jack and Jill unit slide open.

It was one AM.

"Daria...Daria...wake up...!"

"Mmmff?"

"It's me!"

"mmmff."

"Daria...!"

"I'm awake, I'm awake. What's going on?"

Quinn told her.


	5. 1:5 Catholic School Girls in Trouble

It was 2:30 am and the only light on in the Lane household was in the kitchen. Daria and Jane sat at the table, while Trent made coffee. Quinn struggled for sleep on the couch in the darkened Lane living room. The only other lights were the small bright dots of Lawndale lampposts visible through the kitchen window.

"You're taking this well," said Jane.

"I don't know how else to take it," said Daria, almost in a whisper to avoid Trent overhearing. "I had to get out of there. I tried not to listen to their minds. I really tried. And this is my reward for it." Daria looked straight ahead, not even looking at Jane.

"I refuse to stay there. I have to go." It was the sixth time she had said it, almost as if she were convincing herself against her will.

Jane sighed. When Daria and Quinn came over to pound on the door, the look on their faces told the story by itself. Quinn and Daria had snuck out of the house only a half hour earlier.

"I know that I have to leave, Jane. If I go, those doctors will poke and poke and the psychiatrist and all the other really mentally ill people there will probably force something bad to happen. If I refuse, Quinn's in trouble, and I end up in a long fight with my parents. Quinn gets grilled…." Daria nodded over towards Quinn on the couch.

"And the fat lady starts to sing." Jane sipped some coffee.

Trent came over with a cup of coffee. "Hey, Daria."

"Hey." Daria looked down again. She really liked Trent. She was embarrassed.

"It's a shame that you had that argument. You know, I'm sure you and your Mom can patch things up."

"Trent," said Jane, "there was no argument. I just went along with what Daria was saying."

"Oh." Trent was confused.

"Daria, I have something to tell you. Trent…Trent knows."

Daria looked up. "Trent knows? What does Trent know?"

"He knows about me. I told him."

There was silence at the table.

"And who else? And what else?"

"Just about me. Nothing else. He's my brother."

Trent coughed. "Daria…this doesn't have anything to do with the same thing, does it? When you all got hit by lightning?" He looked over at Daria, and figured out the truth that Daria wouldn't say.

"Wow…." Trent took another sip of the hot black coffee. "So…I guess it's more complicated than just an argument, huh?"

"Yeah."

"You can stay here as long as you want."

"Not that easy," said Daria. "This will be the first place they look."

"Oh. Well, I could drive you somewhere. Wherever you'd want to go. I don't think the police start looking for you until you're gone for 24 hours. I think they wait longer if it's Summer's kids."

"I have to think about it. I don't think driving is a good idea. Your car, the Tank, they'd look for all those things." Daria thought. "I don't suppose we could fly out of here, could we? Could I get on line?"

Jane blushed. "Sorry, amiga. I fried the hard drive. And I think the start-up disk is screwed, too. I just don't have much control over this power."

"Tell me about it. When I need to know something, I don't know it. When I don't need to know something, I can't help but know it."

A more perky voice spoke up. "So, like, why don't you just call the airport? Or just show up and see what tickets you can get?" Quinn stretched her long, thin arms, unable to sleep.

"Aren't we unescorted minors?" said Jane. She remembered when Courtney and Adrian flew, someone had to be there to pick them up.

"Duh! We're 21! It says so on our driver's licenses!"

"Right," said Daria. "With forged driver's licenses. We go to an airport, cameras all around, right in the middle of Homeland Security checking everything. We have no money, we don't even look 21, and when the forgeries are discovered, we get arrested and hauled back home in the most humiliating way. Then, they take me to the Nut House and they saw my head off."

"Geez, Daria, take a chance once in your life. I have cash!" Quinn pulled out a gold card. "Ta-daaahh!"

Jane squinted. "A gold card with your name on it?"

"No, Mom's gold card! She gave it to me to buy shoes! We buy the tickets in Mom's name!"

"Okay," said Daria, on the defensive. "And Helen Morgendorffer doesn't show up for her flight. But Daria Morgendorffer shows up instead."

"Well…," said Jane, "there's the clothes trunks up in the attic. There's some pretty non-happening fashions up there. I think they would give you some much needed maturity." Jane failed to mention the clothes were at least forty years out of date.

"I don't like this plan at all," said Daria.

"Look at it this way," said Quinn. "You and I are in trouble no matter what we do. The worst they'd do to us at the airport is not let us go. Gee, Daria, you worry about everything! People aren't like you! They don't worry so much! It's like going to a bar…you just smile and look confident, and no one gives you any trouble!"

"Right. And instead of getting a mimosa and your hand stamped, you get a felony offense and you – "

"Jane!" shouted Quinn. "Let's see the clothes you have picked out!" Quinn thought anything was better than giving Daria too much time to think.

(la la LA la la)

"This smells like mothballs."

"You'll do fine." Jane looked for shoes for Daria as Daria adjusted her shoulders in the stiff green dress that Quinn chose for her. Green dress…white belt. And white shoes. Jane's aunt had a whole trunk full of shoes.

"I like this blue one but it doesn't go with my hair or my skin and your aunt is a lot shorter than I am! I guess I have to go with the long white one! But if I could find pink and find a purse I would look really really cute! And Daria, you should wear short white gloves if you can find them!"

"Wait a second. Quinn, you're not being asked to go."

Jane spoke up. "We're going anyway."

"Why? This is my problem."

"Everything is just 'your problem'. This isn't 'your problem', it's our problem. Didn't you remember reading my thoughts in the hospital? Amiga, I'm backing you up because you need it. And I give a damn."

"And what about school?"

"Yeah, Daria, what about school? You're ditching, I might as well ditch too. Trust me, in two weeks no one will remember I was even there."

"And Trent?"

"He'll be against it." Jane sighed. "But I can twist his arm. We'll have to come back, somehow. I can't let the big dummy just mope."

"And Quinn?"

"I think Quinn invited herself."

Quinn turned. "Do you think I was going to just let Daria leave and miss out on all the fun? I'm in!"

"Jane, do you have a harmonica? I can play it when we're all in prison."

"Actually, Daria, there is something you can do to help us pull this off."

"And that is?"

"Shut up."

(la la LA la la)

Trent pulled up to the airport in the Tank. He found short term parking and parked the van in the cold morning air.

"Daria, we have our luggage?"

"We look like refugees from Catholic school," said Daria.

Jane couldn't help but agree. Quinn wore a pink dress with matching hat and long pink gloves. Jane wore her black hair in a snood, with a dark red dress with ivory buttons. Daria completed the picture with her green dress and white accessories.

"I think you look very adult." Trent coughed. "Well…maybe I shouldn't stay. Maybe I should provide an alibi…or something."

"You don't need one," said Jane, "it's already a quarter to seven. I'll bet Daria's Mom is calling everyone right now. You don't need to be at the house at all." Jane turned to Daria and Quinn. "I'll meet you inside."

Daria nodded, and took two of the three ancient suitcases. Quinn followed with one of the bags, and Jane stayed behind for a few minutes.

"Trent," Jane said, voice cracking, "you didn't need to give me all of your money!!"

"You need it worse than I do right now, Janey. Two hundred dollars isn't near enough! You have to take care of yourself! And Daria, and her sister!"

Jane hugged Trent. She was crying, and shaking. "Tr-Trent! I – I -- !!" Sobbing, she tried to get out that she could never repay Trent for all the kindness and love that he had shown her. She could not wrap up so many years in a brief goodbye. They had had so much time together, and now, it seemed that that time was drawing to a close with an uncertain future.

"Janey," said Trent, his eyes tearing, holding the thing that he loved most in the world closest to him. "If you need me, I will make it to you. No matter what!"

"Gee, Trent," Jane said, still crying, "be a guy! No sense about crying!"

"We Lanes say crappy goodbyes!"

"Yeah!" Jane wiped her eyes. She couldn't let Daria see her cry. "I guess my career as a struggling artist is off to an early start!"

"Give me an address, and I'll send you whatever I can!" Trent knew he had to cut this short, or he would decrease their chances of getting away. "Goodbye, little sister!"

"Goodbye…big brother…!" Jane swallowed hard and closed the van door. Trent watched Jane look back one last time as she walked away, then she disappeared into the hotel lobby. Now, and only now, was it safe to finally stop holding the tears back.

(la la LA la la)

Daria and Quinn finished purchasing four tickets. One for Helen Morgendorffer and the other three for themselves. The computer gave them no problems. All it cared about was a valid credit card.

"Quinn…be honest. Why are you doing this?"

"Because I think that things will just work themselves out in the end. They really will."

Daria turned away. She waited for Jane. Talking to Quinn was useless. There could be no way of explaining to Quinn that Daria felt as if her heart had been stabbed to death.

From the moment that Quinn told Daria the truth to the present, Daria's throat felt six times heavier.

She knew that her mother would always, always look for the simplest and least complex solution to any problem. Not getting along in school? Smile, and invite people over! Being picked on? Tell the teachers! Surrounded by morons? Don't be so judgmental!!

Hearing voices in your head? Send her to the mental hospital!! Pills and nice men in white coats will fix her up. And oh, while you're there, work on our useless, socially maladept daughter. Her inability to make friends is probably some sign of mental illness.

It's probably deliberate, too….

Daria closed her eyes. Something was coming up out of her heart that she did not want to face. And the fact that Quinn was there was no solace.

_You know, Quinn, when this is all over, you'll come out smelling like a rose. You always do. You even admitted it. "It will all just blow over." For you, maybe. Because the world says you can't do anything wrong. My big crime in life was not being just like you._

Jane walked over to the doors. Daria waited.

"Hey."

"Hey. Quinn got the tickets."

"Then let's get the hell out of here. Remember," said Jane, "smiles and happy faces. And don't think. We have to be just like Quinn…dammit."

(la la LA la la)

Nothing happened.

NOTHING HAPPENED. Daria couldn't believe that she was on a plane to Los Angeles – the first plane taking off from the airport. Los Angeles was definitely big enough to lose the three of them, but she wouldn't be happy until the plane took off.

Baggage check? Not a problem!

Phony IDs? The rent-a-cop (now a paid member of the Department of Homeland Security) gave the IDs no more than a cursory look. The three might as well have been Charlie's Angels.

Magnetic detectors? Didn't go off! Jane passed through without a problem. Nothing broke, nothing exploded.

Voices in your head? Empty. Not a cough in a carload, as they used to say.

And now, on the plane. Daria and Jane sat side by side in one row. Quinn sat behind them.

"Thank God Quinn didn't ask to sit by me!"

"I think that was Quinn's idea," whispered Jane, "she was the one who bought the tickets!"

"Oh yeah." The feeling was mutual.

Daria opened her purse. Benadryl. An antihistamine, which should put her to sleep for the flight. "Jane, don't wake me up. If this is a nightmare, definitely don't wake me up!"

Daria tossed two Benadryl down her throat and prayed for the best.

(la la LA la la)

…I can go anyway the way I choose I can talk anyhow win or lose….

(More thoughts. Daria stirred in her sleep.)

( Los Angeles is so beautiful this time of year)

("Delusional thinking", Daria told herself. The thoughts of the other passengers drifted lightly across her mind, like ducks crossing a summer pond.)

&-This upgrade lacks not only sufficient computing power, but the documentation is lacking in several critical areas. I would like to congratulate the department for doing something never done before in the history of computer science – creating features that serve no purpose and documentation that doesn't make sense….-&

Daria opened her eyes. She liked the thoughts, somehow expressed in a deep Scottish authoritative voice. She would listen. It was her own private radio station, clear sane thinking in the midst of mental static.

Jane turned. "I've been thinking about what we should do when we get to Los Angeles."

"Mm-hm." Daria continued listening.

"My two hundred dollars will get us a hotel room for a couple of nights. We spend the other one hundred dollars eating and looking for work. Maybe fast food. Or something using our powers – if we ever figure out how to use them."

"Yeah."

"Daria…are you completely awake?"

Daria smiled. "Jane…I've tuned in to a really powerful brain. Strong, confident. And I think, sympathetic. Maybe we can get some advice from him."

"Well, go for it, stranger!"

Daria stood up and prepared to make her way, following the source until she found it. She disappeared behind the curtains to business class.

No sooner had she disappeared than she walked back.

"What happened?"

"He was very hesitant to talk to us. I could read his mind. I felt resistance."

"You did put on deodorant before we left?"

"Shut up." Daria crossed over Jane's seat and sat back down. "He didn't want to talk to anybody. I was listening to Russell Stark."

"Russell who?"

"Russell Stark. Computer guy. Partners with Bill Brower."

"Bill Brower had a partner?" Jane knew who Bill Brower was – everyone did, he was the richest man on earth – but he never knew Brower had a partner at Wizard.

"Yeah. Stark and Brower built Wizard up from ground zero in their garage in Arizona. They had a falling out about fifteen years ago. Brower bought Stark out. Stark took the billions and hasn't been seen since."

"And he's flying out of Lawndale?"

"He's incognito. Deeeep cover. He was imagining some kind of blackmail attempt, thought I had recognized him. So I just let him alone. In the pictures, he had long hair and a long red beard. Now he's bald, the beard is shorter, and he looks like a businessman."

"Well…maybe you can find another billionaire on board. Although I wish you had the nerve to ask him for fifty bucks."

"Quinn's behind me. Send her up. He'll probably give her his car keys."

"Don't tempt me," said Jane. "Okay, either listen to Howard Hughes some more or find another radio station."

Daria concentrated.

Lots of thoughts, but nothing substantial. One woman thinking about sex with Captain Kirk. Some guy trying to figure out what month the Aquarius star sign was in.

A man thinking of the time his grandfather had taken him to the park, but he couldn't remember the park. It began with a "P". Daria figured next time she flew, she'd just bring a radio.

Finally, a substantial thought.

Everything is in play. Frederico managed to place the gun.

("Gun?")

In three minutes Mike will stand up and shoot the marshal. That ought to get everyone's attention. I'll keep the rest of the passengers sitting tight. The Brit will get to buisiness class and kill Stark. We'll be off this plane before anyone figures out what happened.

Frederico, your work is beautiful. They paid enough to kill that Scottish fag.

("…!")

Mikey, I'm waiting for your sign. When you push that call button for the stewardess, I'll know that you put the gun together. Then I stand up and I shoot the marshal.

Daria's eyes were wide awake. "Jane…Jane, I think this plane ride might be a lot shorter than we think…." She was tempted to transmit a thought to Quinn, just to let her know that not every situation worked itself out for the better, after all.

In three minutes, the rest of Daria's life was going to be decided, one way or another.


	6. 1:6 Massive Fireball of Doom

_There are benchmarks in everyone's life. Resting places. Places from where one can see staggering differences between life as it was before that point and life afterwards. Places where the prefixes "pre" and "post" have significant meaning._

_Alone, in my room with the dark curtains and no light, I thought that the day I gained my mental powers was the most significant dividing point in my life._

_I was wrong._

_--Daria Morgendorffer, Diary Entry_

Daria thought that the best thing to do would be to scream for help. But who could help her?

Call the stewardess? Say, "excuse me, but there's an assassin on board this airplane, could you have security escort him off?" Ask that he stand up, turn over the gun? Inform the victim with a private message, "oh by the way, you might be shot and we might be plummeting to our deaths afterwards, just though you'd want to work on your will?"

The thoughts of "who" and "why" were not foremost on Daria's mind. Not only could very bad things start happening, there was no where to run to avoid it all, and no way to take Jane (or Quinn) with her.

The thought that she could do nothing, just let it happen and hope for the best afterwards, crossed her mind. That wasn't a comfortable thought. If there were a hell, she might have to answer to a hundred aggrieved passengers if they all died.

And in a few moments, a man would calmly reach up to the call button and call the stewardess. Shots would ring out. At least two people would die.

Daria decided to act.

** Jane. **

Jane turned to her.

** In a few seconds, a man will raise his hand. He will push the call light overhead. That means he has a gun, and he intends to stand up and fire. I want you to take the gun away from him. **

Jane looked puzzled.

**What do you – **

Someone near the entrance to business class calmly pressed the button to call the stewardess. He began to unbuckle his seat belt.

** JANE NOW DO IT NOW NOW NOW NOW DO IT NOW **

The man stood up with urgency.

Jane and Daria were the first ones to notice it.

The **gun**.

Jane acted immediately. She hadn't even had the time to undo the seat belt. She put out one hand, and concentrated.

Other passengers gasped as they saw the gun.

They saw the gun quaver, as it were on a fishing line. The firearm lept out of the surprised owner's hands, flew on a straight line across the room, and right at Jane Lane. She grabbed it.

The safety was off. The force of the impact into Jane's right hand and the magnetic energy jostled the trigger pull, which had been adjusted as to not require much pulling force.

A hole punched through the roof, with a loud bang and Jane immediately dropping the gun, which dropped to the floor.

People began to scream. The man who had the gun looked for escape, in the same desperate situation Daria was in.

Another shot rang out! Another man had a gun. It was the first man, the man whose thoughts had been intercepted by Daria. A hole was punched over the window where Daria was sitting. If the shot had been two inches to the right, Jane Lane's head would have splattered across the closed plane window.

Before Daria could act, or call for help, Quinn acted on her own. She grabbed the seat belt, flipped it open as if with a practiced hand, and half stood and half fired.

An arc of electricity hit the gunman square in the chest. Quinn sprayed him, rapidly, hoping that he would go down. She hesitated. She had read that 100 volts of electricity was enough to kill someone. She was going **way** above 100 volts, or at least, she thought she was…she had burnt out a few volt-ohm meters she had swiped from Ms. Barch's class trying to regulate her power more precisely.

Two things happened: the gunman dropped the gun and sank to the seat in a heap, a loud cat-like yelping noise escaping his lips as he finally collapsed.

And the two windows on his side of the plane promptly exploded.

The air began to be pulled out of the cabin before anyone else could think or act.. Papers, cups, anything not nailed down began to swirl about the cabin in the eddys of tiny whirlpools before sailing out the window.

Oxygen masks began dropping from the roof of the cabin. And the passengers, trapped in their seat belts, exploded in a chaos of screams, cries, and the sheer terror of impending death.

**GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEATH SWEEEEEEET JEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSUSSSSSSSSSS SAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**

The blood began to drip from Daria Morgendorffer's nose. A riot! A riot in her head with Chinese firecrackers going off!!

"Daria? Daria…!!" Jane reached for her friend, who slumped forward.

** :: Don't let it overcome you. Concentrate. Take control of the fear. :: **

"Uhhh!!" Daria coughed as Jane slid the oxygen mask over Daria's head. Was it her voice in her head? Or someone else's?

Daria would scream back.

** WOULD EVERYONE ELSE PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW?!? **

In three seconds…

…complete silence. And stunned passengers.

Quinn stood up, the oxygen mask over her head, her voice muffled. "Daria…Daria…!"

** What? **

"Don't shout! I…uh…." Quinn whispered. "I think everyone heard that one!"

Daria undid the buckles and stood up, nose still bleeding.

** May I have everyone's complete attention? Thank you. Some bozos with guns were about to make a scene. The scene has stopped, but my sister has unfortunately sucked out all the breathable air in the cabin. You are all to sit exactly where you are and don't get out of your seats. Trust me, your prayers to your ignored deity are simply giving me a headache. Trust the nice pilots behind their protective armoured door to land the plane safely. Thank you, and we hope you have enjoyed flying TransSonic Airlines. **

Daria took off the mask. "Will the air marshal on this plane please stand up? We don't need any more heroes on the plane?"

No one stood.

"I already have a splitting headache and I don't care to read anyone else's mind today. If you make me do it, someone's going to get an electric handshake."

Finally, a middle aged man stood up. "I'm the Air Marshal. Now, who the hell are you?"

"There's a third assassin on this plane. I read "a Brit" who was going to go to business class during the chaos and shoot Russell Stark. You didn't see anyone leave to change seats?"

"What I saw, I saw in five seconds."

"Nobody left. We're all here!" said one of the other passengers.

At that moment, the plane's lights began to flicker. The plane made a strange noise, like a whale song.

"That's not good," said Jane, taking off the mask.

The lights in the plane went off.

"Very, very not good!!"

** If anyone in here screams, I'll KILL THEM!! ** The passengers remained quiet.

Quinn let a few ambient sparks light up on her hands. An eerie blue glow diffused through the darkened cabin, illuminating the faces of the terrified passengers.

"Quinn, I think with that oxygen bag strapped to your face, you don't want to do that."

Jane looked at Quinn. "I'm surprised you didn't blow up the plane!"

"Eep!" Quinn's light went out. There was nothing heard but the rushing sound of air outside.

"We can't stay here or we'll suffocate!" said Daria, grabbing the bloodied oxygen mask for another whiff. She suspected it was a rebreather mask, which meant that there was a real danger of Daria, Jane, and Quinn passing out after all their activity.

"Excuse me!"

A man stood at the entryway to the business class. He was bald and freckled, and wore dark thick square rimmed glasses. A short white beard with gray-streaked red hair completed the someone nerdy picture.

"I'm Russell Stark! If you don't mind the suggestion, my young friends, I think we should see if the pilots are all right! And if anyone else pulls out a gun, ladies and gentlemen…let them have it!"

Daria, Quinn, and Jane found their way up the walkway to Stark. They found themselves in the more spacious business class, and walked up to the pilot door.

"Hello? Anybody home in there?" said Jane.

Daria concentrated. She began to feel dizzy.

"I'm…I'm not reading…."

The world turned into pudding. Daria slumped suddenly to the floor.

Stark grabbed Jane's shoulder. He pointed at Quinn. "You. Help her, get her some oxygen. You – " he said, ruddy finger pointed at Jane, " – help me with this door. It's a armor deadbolt lock. I don't suppose you have a can opener with you."

"Mister – I **am** a can opener!" Jane put a hand to the door, letting the insides of the door send little metallic tingles to her hand, giving her an idea of the door's inner mechanisms. She began taking the hints she was receiving and began twisting and pulling, hopefully from inside.

The door opened.

Jane and Russell Stark looked inside the pilot's cabin. The pilot and co-pilot were unconscious.

"Okay," said Jane, "I don't suppose you have three parachutes. I'll let you ride on my back!"

Stark climbed to the pilot's seat. He undid the pilot's belt, and began pulling him out of the chair. Jane gave what little help she could. Finally, Stark made it to the chair and grabbed the wheel.

"Wonderful. Nothing's working properly." He put on the headphones and began to read the instrument panel. "I don't think we'll fall out of the sky just yet. But we are losing altitude and that's clearly not a good thing! We have about five minutes to land this plane, hopefully in only one pieces. Can you or your friends make planes land?"

Jane shook her head.

"Hell. Then it's up to me." Stark flipped up the microphone and twisted the radio dial to its emergency frequency. "Mayday! Mayday! This is Russell Stark! Come in, any airport, please respond!"

" This is Provo Municipal Airport. What is your aircraft and the nature of your emergency? "

"I am the unwilling pilot of a 780 LeadJet Airbus with over 100 terrified passengers. Some windows of the craft have ruptured and the oxygen bags have dropped. Pilots are either unconscious or dead. I need to land this airplane and land it the easy way!"

" Roger, 780. Give us your altitude, heading and airspeed. Can you fly?" 

Stark communicated the indicators rapidly to Provo Municipal Airport. He turned to his companion. "Young lady, what's your name?"

"Jane. Jane Lane."

"I have about five minutes to land this plane. I expect it won't be a pleasant landing. You might want to make sure you and your friends are strapped down."

Jane turned out of the cabin. Two men in first class were sharing their oxygen with Daria and Quinn. A flight attendant was holding Daria up in a sitting positon.

"Holy heather!"

Jane ran back into the flight cabin.

"Well, Jane, it looks like this plane doesn't – want – to drop its landing gear!"

Stark grabbed at two red levels between the seats.

"Manual deployment isn't working! The damned lever won't budge!"

Jane reached over and began pulling at the levers herself. They were stuck in the locked position.

"Oh, boy…." Jane looked down. The little ants were starting to look like cars.

"We're losing altitude rapidly. If I manage to keep control of this, belly up won't be the nicest way to land. There should be a fold-out seat near the back of the cabin. Unfold it and strap yourself in!"

Jane turned to look for the seat. Then suddenly, she had a thought.

"What are our chances if you can't get the landing gear down?"

Stark laughed bitterly. "How does 'massive fireball of doom' sound?"

"And if you can?"

"Then we hope the brakes work. We might go off the edge of the runway, but the plane will come to a stop…eventually!"

Jane got out of the seat. She crouched down, and grabbed both of the manual deployment levers.

"Concentrate…" she told herself. Something had to be caught, or jammed, or disconnected, or something. She began to feel something, but she didn't know what it was. The system was far too complex to make heads or tails of.

Jane looked up and outside the window. In the far distance, Jane could make out the Provo, Utah air strip.

"Forget it! Grit your teeth and hold on to your fillings!" And with that, Jane gritted her teeth and using her magnetic powers, grabbed a lever with each hand and began to throw her weight backwards.

_How heavy are these things?_ There was a lot of resistance. The levers only moved slightly. Jane concentrated all of her imagination and force backwards, pressing, pressing, ever pressing with the force of her might inside the aircraft.

A groaning, angry cracking sound could be heard. The levers slowly began to move down as the sweat rolled down Jane's nose. Outside the plane, the wheel well doors opened and the gear began to lower.

"Here we go!!" shouted Stark. "Landing time!!" Jane saw the firetrucks on the runway. Unable to strap herself in, she hugged the back of the copilot's seat, and prayed that whatever they could do would be enough.

(la la LA la la)

The wheels hit the runway and the plane rocketed down the painted, wide, straight road.

Stark hit the brakes and the machines inside the plane roared to life against their wills. Jane almost let go of the seat when she felt the impact of ground against plan. The passengers had resumed their screaming, but Daria was not awake enough to hear it.

The plane rocketed down the runway. The tires, under incredible strain, began to give way, blowing out in loud explosions, one by one, which shook the cabin even further.

Tons of metal began to squeal down the airway, red fire engines in hot pursuit.

"Are we stopping?!" Jane shouted.

"We're going to hit the overrun!! Hold on!!"

The plane crossed the end of the runway and traversed the overrun, an area of wet, sandy ground. The mere act of hitting the overrun seemed to be a signal for the craft to relax and stop its shaking.

A child's toy rolled down the walkway, bouncing once, twice, then coming to a complete stop.

The plane had stopped. It was at that time that one of the overhead bin locks decided to crack, dumping out luggage and causing more screaming among the passengers.

Jane opened her eyes. "Is that it?"

Stark opened his eyes. "Either that, or we're dead, and I'll take either one!" The older man immediately released his seatbelts.

As the two left the cabin, the flight attendants were already up and trying to calm the passengers. It was time to prepare the deplaneing procedures. Outside, one could hear the airhorns of fire engines and the squealing sirens of ambulances.

Quinn looked at Jane and Stark with wide open eyes. "Daria's not awake yet!"

Stark bent over, palpating her neck. "She's alive. She's probably just exhausted. It's probably better that she's asleep. Our landing was the easy part of our little trip today."

He looked at Jane and Quinn. "Thank you. Thank all of you for what you've done. I'm going to find some way to make this up to you!"

"Uh," said Quinn, "don't mention it!"

"It might be too late for that. You might not survive what comes next without my help!"

Stark flipped open his cellphone.

"What comes next?" asked Jane.

"The media frenzy." He turned to Quinn and winked. "That's not Scots blood, is it?"


	7. 1:7 Friends in High Places

The flight crew evacuated the passengers. With help, the exit doors were lifted away (they weighed over fifty pounds each) and large orange inflatable slides appeared outside the plane. The attendants rapidly gave the passengers their instructions – cross your arms, and slide down the ramp to safety.

Russell Stark knelt down towards the woozy Daria as he chatted on the cellphone. "Hess? Stark here. Someone tried to kill me on my flight today. I was rescued by three young ladies who might be in some trouble – don't roll your eyes at me, Ralph – and we need to get out of here before John Bull arrives…yes…yes…if you can swing it, that will do. Prepare the home in Salt Lake City. We'll wait for you."

Stark turned to Quinn. "And your name?"

"Quinn. Quinn Morgendorffer!"

"And this must be 'Daria'. She's – ".

"—a close friend," said Jane. Jane knew how Quinn felt about any kind of relationship, implied or otherwise, between the two.

Stark wiped some blood from Daria's nose with his finger. He ran back into the pilot's cabin and brought out a first aid kit. Opening the red plastic box, he pulled out an ammonia capsule.

"Stand back!" He turned away, breaking the capsule under Daria's nose.

Daria began coughing, rapidly and forcefully. Her eyes flickered open. "Wha…wha--?"

"Daria," said Stark, "can you sit up?"

Daria nodded affirmatively.

"Well, don't. Stay exactly as you are, eyes closed. Your 'unconsciousness' is what will save our hides. The flight crew is still trying to wrestle our cattle out of the holding pen; we shall leave last and give our escape time to arrive."

Jane interrupted. "But what about the other guy! The killer?!?"

Stark grimaced. "Good on you Jane for remembering. Let him go. We have more important things to worry about right now."

Quinn looked into the pilot's cabin. "What happened? Did…was it…did I -- ??"

"No. No, you did not. Knockout drops. Or worse."

"Then shouldn't we -- ?"

"—see to them, Quinn? We're up to our haunches in medical personnel. If they're merely unconsciousness, they'll be attended to. If not – then there's little I or anyone else can do for them."

Quinn stepped back. The thought that the two sleeping men could actually be dead made her sick.

Jane watched as the flight attendants walked toward the foursome. "Do you need some assistance?" It was flight attendant speak for "It's time for the four of you to get the hell off the plane."

"Help her to her feet!" said Stark. Jane and Quinn stood up, each taking one of Daria's arms. Daria moaned like a sick cow, milking it for all it was worth as the two pretended to prop her up. "Go together, ladies. I'll follow immediately behind."

Quinn walked down the walkway. She looked one last time at the damaged passenger coach cabin. The two windows, blown out, with a limp human form still remaining in his seat.

_Is he unconscious?_ Quinn asked herself. _Or did I…kill him…?_

Jane 'hmmed' Quinn forward. Quinn figured she should think like the bald guy. If he's unconscious, he'll be helped. If he's dead, she couldn't help him. She decided to get off the plane. She didn't want to know the answer and prayed to God never to find out.

(la la LA la la)

Jane was embarrassed.

As she, Daria, and Quinn slid down the orange raft, Jane's flimsy skirt flew up! Jane quickly brought it down when she got off the slide, but Jane guessed that everyone watching got a free peek at Jane's underwear! She turned crimson red. _Great going, Lane, your undies will be the opening on the 6 o'clock news! Just…damn perfect! The perfect ending to a perfect day!_

Jane and Quinn let Daria rest on the wet, soggy grass. Stark slid off the slide, arms crossed, like a pro. He propped himself up to his feet as the medical attendants came to greet the group.

Before any of the surprised EMTs could open their mouths, Stark had his speech prepared. "Greetings. My name is Russell Stark. I decline any medical treatment or any medical examination, and will attest to the fact. My young friends, Jane Lane and Quinn Morgendorffer, also decline medical treatment. Our mutual friend Daria here will be treated with a private med-evac helicopter which I will take to the nearest medical facility. If you will excuse us…."

As if on cue, a cobalt blue helicopter with the words "MEDEVAC" stenciled in white on the side of the craft, landed near the site. The EMTs stood back as everyone watched the slow, careful descent of the copter kick up loose debris. As the blades slowed, five attendants exited the copter and rushed to the area, with a guerney in tow.

_Fantastic work, Ralph, _ thought Stark. _Give us ten minutes to load Miss Daria as cargo, and we shall be up, up, and away. We're really going to get away with it._

"Mister Stark?"

Stark turned.

"Agent Cuppey. Agent Mulroe." The two men opened their badges that read "F B I" in big, bold red letters. "I'm glad that we could get you and your friends together for some questioning. And trust me, we both have a lot of questions."

"Then, gentlemen, you shall have to ask them on the medevac copter. We already have three doctors waiting in critical care for my unconscious friend. If she dies due to your incompetence, we'll have you working Border Patrol."

The two black suits turned to each other. "Fine. I think there's room on that copter for two more. Your choice, Mister Stark. We come along, or you come with us."

"Fine. Come along." Stark had to think of something. A good thing he had his cellphone.

(la la LA la la)

The medevac zoomed through the air. Daria winced as the medical personnel strapped her down.

_Hey wait, dammit…don't put a tourniquet on my arm., there's nothing wrong with – OW! GAD DAMMIT!! YOU MORONS!_

Daria prayed she didn't broadcast that thought. The imbeciles were starting an IV on her and had hooked her up to oxygen. What kind of hell was Stark putting her through?

She looked to see if she could reach Stark's mind.

Nothing. Finally, she found a voice.

**(- FBI will pick up Stark and the government boys will pick up his three companions. Underage, all of them, I bet, the old perv.-) **

_Government?_

**(-Stark will never get his way out of this one. We have the old wiley fox at last. Mr. Dynell will be very happy.-)**

Daria filed the fact for future reference. The med techs were leaving her alone. She listened to the conversation.

"We're not talking just federal charges, Mister Stark. We're talking Homeland Security charges. You won't find yourself in a federal court." For Cuppey to be more serious, he'd have to be Banquo's ghost.

"Oh, a special 'Star Chamber' I assume? From this point, you'll be saying nothing to me without my lawyers present."

Stark's cellphone rang. He picked it up. "Stark here…yes…yes, I'll be arriving soon, accompanied by two of Mr. Hoover's old friends. They're dressed appropriately, no skirts, no hose, and I assure you they are **not** carrying purses. I'll need some legal help, and anything extra. Call Ingrid. See what can be done. Goodbye." Stark closed the channel. "We shall ride further, gentlemen. In silence."

"That's as may be. But we do have the power to place you under arrest."

"Are you arresting me? Aren't you supposed to read me my rights? Quaint American custom? Give me the decency of having my lawyer present when we land. She must be on her way. I hope."

(la la LA la la)

Jane watched outside the window. They must have been flying for twenty minutes, but no hospital was in sight. She had no idea where the hell they were supposed to be going. The silent Agent Mulroe was drilling holes through her skull with his beady little eyes. Jane knew that Mulroe was looking for some excuse to either shoot her, slap the cuffs on her, or toss her out of the helicopter. _I wish I were brain-dead, like Quinn._

Stark's phone rang again. "Stark here…yes…ah! Yes." Stark smiled. "Agent Cuppey, I believe the call is for…**you**."

Cuppey grabbed the phone. "Agent Cuppey…yes…what? You have got to be kidding me! This can't…but…this…these are serious charges!! This is a matter of national sec--!!"

Cuppey listened to the rest of the words in silence. Jane could almost feel Cuppey's building anger as Cuppey listened in complete silence.

"Take your god-damned phone!" shouted Cuffey, in a huff. "This is not over, mister. This is not over, by a long shot!!"

**(- He called an Assistant Director of the Counterterrorism Division!! He must have! My SAC sounded like he'd crapped his pants! What the hell kind of clout does this man have, anyway? There's no freaking way he could circumvent Federal law like this! This breaks every rule in the damned rulebook! -) **

"That was the SAC." Mulroe turned, knowing that SAC meant 'Special Agent in Charge' of the Salt Lake City FBI Field Office. "We've been told to lay off. In no uncertain terms."

"What?" Mulroe stopped his patented Stare of Fear and Jane Lane's skull was safe again.

"Who the hell gave that order?"

"Excuse me," said Stark. "But I believe we will be landing as soon as we can find a safe place. And, as an American citizen, I shall be saying to you, 'This helicopter is private property. Do yourself a favor and sod off.'"

(la la LA la la)

Daria rubbed her arm. "I'm glad we're finally coming to a stop. I have to go to the bathroom."

"Well, my technicians loaded you up with IV fluid."

"That wasn't necessary. At all." She glared at Stark.

"Au contraire." The limousine took Stark, Daria, Jane and Quinn from the heliport to a private house all the way out to Park City, Utah. During the ride, the three had a hundred questions for Stark, who gave evasive answers and promised that everything would be answered, in good time. Sleep would have to come first, though.

It was more a mansion than a private house. The three stepped indoors. What furniture Jane could see from the entrance hall had been covered in cloths.

"We've not made it homey enough quite yet. Upstairs, my friends, you shall find your beds. Your tale of being runaways was quite interesting. We'll discuss that, but tomorrow. You need sleep and rest, and I need to make more telephone calls. So, off you go!"

The three were escorted to the expansive upstairs. A maid, her back turned, made her way down the hall in the opposite direction. "Finally!" said Daria, and opened one of the closed doors. Finding what she wanted, the door closed quickly behind her.

"Dammit, Daria! I need to freshen up!" Quinn moaned in agony, not having seen a mirror in hours.

"Will you look at this place?" said Jane.

"Kind of creepy," said Quinn.

"Kind of frigging cool" said Jane. It was her picture of what a mansion should be. Marble floors, old wood, and a smell that only came from old money.

"You don't think he's going to try to kill us, do you?"

"I think if he did, he'd be going to a whole lot of trouble. Besides," smiled Jane, "I think you could defend yourself."

"Do you think I killed that guy in the plane? I mean…do you?"

"If you did…he deserved it. You did what you had to do. I would have turned him into bacon if it was me! The bastard aimed at my head! If it bothers you, ask Mr. Know-It-All. He seems to know all the answers."

The sound of a bathroom flushing could be faintly heard. Daria opened the door. "Had to get that off my chest."

"That full, huh?" said Jane.

"Ewwwww! Gross!"

Daria looked about. "It looks like Daddy Stark is putting us to beddy-bye. I think we escaped one set of controlling parents only to find a Scotsman with a closed mouth and long arms."

"So, Daria," said Quinn, "did you read his mind?"

"I did."

"And?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I tried several times. A completely closed book. Dead air. For a few minutes I thought I was reading Quinn's mind."

"Daria, don't be so insecure!" said Quinn. "You're not worth thinking about!"

"Now I'm really creeped out," said Jane. "I think we're dealing with a whole new set of weirdness here."

"If he wanted to make a move on us, he would have. He already knows we ran away. He could have called our parents to come pick us up. He probably has Mom's number on his cellphone. But he hasn't. I don't know if I trust him. But I do know that I don't not trust him."

"Okay. Then my question is, which bed do you want?" said Jane.

"The one nearest the escape door."

"I think the escape door leads to Burns's Secret Vampire Room. So you couldn't read his mind, huh?"

"No. And I can read **anybody's** mind, even when I don't want to. That's the problem." Daria had been thinking about that. Maybe Stark knew how to keep his mind from being read. And if he does, then that was information that might help her. She would stay entirely for her own reasons. And when it no longer suited her to stay, she'd leave. She just didn't know how far the three of them would get the next time without a guardian angel.

(la la LA la la)

**_Damn itchy nightgown._**

Jane woke up. She looked at the clock.

_3:30 am? We've been asleep for -- !_ Twelve hours? Fifteen hours? Jane had lost track of time.

She tried to get back to sleep, but it was no good. She was awake, and awake to stay. She had come off her caffeine crash and was now unfortunately awake to the world. Really, neither she nor the others had had much sleep since Daria and her sister had decided to flee Helen Morgendorffer's chicken coop.

Jane figured that the gown covered enough of her figure. It came down to mid-knee. In socks, Jane opened the room door and began to explore the old mansion.

Her explorations took her to several rooms. **Daria, wake up. Are you awake? Please say something! **

Nothing. Daria was unconscious. It was her all alone.

On the ground floor, Jane passed a room. She thought she heard water bubbling, a slow gurgling sound like a bathtub emptying. She decided that she'd have a look.

Opening the door, the ambient light soothed her eyes. It was some strange sort of ultraviolet spectrum. The large room was filled with huge water tanks reaching up to the vaulted ceilings. She watched bubbles fizzle from the bottom of each cylindrical tank, to the top.

Bracketing each of the tanks seem to be ornate brick mortarwork, holding each tank in place. Thick cut rectangles of glass, as wide as Jane's hand, were imbedded into each of the columns. The panes glowed with an eerie green light, blinking on and off the way a computer would.

At the center of the room, on a small desk, was a computer terminal, the size of an ordinary PC. The browser was open at the top. It read "Quest Works", and it didn't look like the Wizard standard browser.

Jane looked down at the keyboard. The keys looked…odd. Jane had an eye for textures. She ran a finger across the blank upper margin of the keyboard.

It didn't feel like plastic. It felt like some sort of ceramic, straight out of Amanda Lane's kiln. Baked clay. Formica. Or something.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Jane rapidly turned. It was Russell Stark.

"Dammit!! Don't scare me like that!!" Jane was very angry. Even in her thick nightgown, she felt very vulnerable.

"I apologize. I'm sorry." Stark seemed honestly contrite. Jane cooled down.

"What are you doing up, anyway?" asked Jane.

"I don't get much sleep." Russell Stark took a few more steps into the room. "So…what do you think of it?"

"It looks really cool. A very expensive PC?"

"Yes. You're in the only other open room of the mansion right now. Other than the bedrooms, and my office, not much else going on except for the dance of dust bunnies. This rattle-trap is one of my many far flung possessions."

"Great keyboard. But it isn't plastic."

"No, it isn't."

"And what are the water towers for?"

"Memory. You must have seen 'Rollerball'. That's where I got the idea."

"Rollerball sucked, so I didn't see it. 'Memory'? Like computer memory? Don't they use chips for that?"

"'They' use chips. I don't. This computer has no electronic parts whatsoever."

Jane took in the statement. "Okay, but if a computer uses electricity…."

"This one doesn't. It translates what it receives, but does not use electricity for its operation. No metal, either. And no plastic."

"That's impossible."

"So 'they' say."

Jane thought about a non-metal, non-plastic, non-computer chip, water storage computer. This computer violated every rational idea Jane could think of to explain it. _Daria would seriously freak out if she saw this. I'm glad she's asleep…._

One could almost hear Jane's mental gears turn across the empty room. She searched for a rational conclusion, but could find none. The only thing she could think was, _Solid! This is one computer I couldn't possibly damage! I'm telling Trent to clean out the basement, because I intend to move this baby in! Maybe he has a laptop made out of tree trunks!_ Jane dreamed of a really cool screensaver.

"Uh…there wouldn't happen to be any food around here, would there?" Jane was hungry.

"Hmm. I forgot about that, actually. Make your order. And wake your friends. Tell them they can have whatever they want. I need to talk to all of you."

"You're not going to try to butter us up for something, are you?"

"I just might," said Stark, "I just might, indeed."


	8. 1:8 An Army of Youth

Daybreak. Even thought the clock had struck six AM Mountain Standard Time, Daria, Jane, and Quinn had been up for over two hours. The three had new changes of clothes (slacks and sweaters, and Quinn had been moaning about the poor fashion sense of the purchaser since she had been awake) and everyone had been fed whatever they wanted. Jane dug in heartily; Daria and Quinn ate little for different reasons.

Russell Stark had greeted the girls at breakfast, and asked them to meet him in his office upstairs after they ate. The topic at breakfast concerned what Stark wanted, if anything.

"Maybe he's just a really nice old guy," said Jane. "You think he wants company?"

"Ew! He should look for someone his own age!" chirped Quinn.

"I don't know what he wants…and I should," said Daria. "The facts are these: just because the FBI is not breathing down our necks is no reason for Quinn to start buying furniture. I don't want to even mention Mom and Dad. With all of the excitement of yesterday, I'm surprised our faces aren't all over TV."

"Tell me about it." Jane put her head in her hands, thinking of her inadvertent flashing of the crowd as she came off the airplane.

"Either Stark wants us to stay here, which would make things not only weird, but creepy in a Michael Jackson way, or he wants us to go back to Lawndale, and we're grounded for life, if not locked away in plastic cages. The fact is that we have nowhere to go after here unless we hit Stark up for serious money. And I think that Stark has done so much for us that we're fresh out of favors."

"Well…" thought Jane, "in that case I should eat some more. If we have to go back on the run, I want to go on a full stomach." Daria and Quinn watched Jane order more pancakes, and then ordered seconds themselves.

(la la LA la la)

Stark's office was surprisingly sterile. A desk, a laptop, and three chairs had been brought in for his visitors from Lawndale.

"Uh…Mister Stark…we're really glad that you saved our bacon. I don't think there's much else that you could do for us," said Jane, "but we could really appreciate a few bucks if you need us to hit the road."

"And by the way," said Daria, "I'm not going back to Lawndale. Consider that off the table."

"We'll discuss Lawndale later. First…I want to thank you for saving my life. I had no idea that I was going to be killed, and you might have guessed that I'm a bit paranoid about my personal health. I let few people get close to me. Many of my associates only know me from cell phone calls. Still…if the three of you hadn't acted, I would be dead. Perhaps you could have saved yourselves after the assassins finished the job. I owe all of you a great deal of gratitude. No, that's an understatement. I owe the three of you everything."

Daria was left nonplussed. Jane turned red in embarrassment. Quinn broke the silence with a "Well..uh…don't mention it!"

"The three of you have…restored my outlook on life. To be blunt, I turned away from the world. I gave up on humanity. The planet was in the midst of its death spiral, and one only had two courses of action – turn away, or be pulled down. I tried anonymous charity, but charity would only be palliative care for a patient on life support. Politics was no solution.

"In 1996, I thought of a possible solution. I burned with activity for six months…then slowly, and sadly, put the project aside. My hope was in the youth of the world, that they could somehow undo the damage their elders had done if they could be found in an uncorrupted state."

Daria coughed. "It doesn't work that way. The youth of the world would require direction. Adult supervision." One could feel Daria's contempt for the idea. "And the cycle would begin all over again."

"I agree," said Stark. "The youth of the world aren't strong enough to stand unaided. They can't fight back. Adult authority would sweep their concerns aside. Unless some sort of Nietzschean super-youth appeared on the scene, the older generation would continue to pass down its prejudices and folly to the younger. The apple, my friends, does not fall far from the tree.

"But…it seems that help has arrived at last." Stark caught the eyes of each of the three young women across the desk from him. "And you, I believe, are that help."

"Let me get this straight," said Daria, "you think that we're the ones to break the pattern, just because we have weirdo powers."

"Well," said Quinn, "it's not like _I _couldn't fight back! I don't think Mom could drag me home no matter how hard she tried if I didn't want to go!"

"Give me a special forces detachment of Navy SEALS, and enough artillery," said Daria, "and I think I would bet on the SEALS over you, Quinn. There's your problem," concluded Daria, "three of us aren't going to make a damn bit of difference. One on one, our powers don't amount to a hill of beans. Throwing lightning, attracting metal and reading minds would make a great movie, but that's it. We're outnumbered before we would even start – if we wanted to do this at all."

"No. Separately, none of you alone could have stopped the attempt on my life. It took all three of you, working in concert. This is the genius of it. You could lead others. There could be an entire mass of young people, a legion, if you will, if they could see that there were young people who could stand against the world's folly."

"So," said Jane, "how much of an army is this going to take? Because I don't think I can stop a nuke. And no one at Lawndale High said anything about leadership skills. We Lanes avoid leadership whenever possible."

"What? You two maybe can't lead," said Quinn, "but I'm the vice-president of the Fashion Club! I have leadership skills!"

"On second thought," said Jane, "anything's better than Quinn leading. Quinn in charge of the youth of America is a frightening thought."

"Which is why this is a disaster in the making," said Daria. "Mister Stark, just how much thought did you put in this? And are there any empty bottles of Scotch behind that desk?"

Stark turned the laptop towards the others. He reached over the screen, and pushed a button.

The three watched an animation. It almost looked like a city of the future. Everything was done in an art deco style, weird attenae bursting from improbable objects, bedecked with seemingly useless rings and dials.

The sun was shining. Birds were singing. The future looked somehow clean. Two young kids were talking to an older woman. Everyone looked well off. There were no poor people. Green spaces abounded. Pets played.

A car suddenly lifted itself from the ground – and began to take flight over this Metropolis of Tomorrow. The car loomed towards a large building, bedecked with what appeared to be a ribbon, like the yellow "God Bless Our Troops" ribbons found on the back of large SUVs. The ribbon became the focal point of the animation as it zoomed into view.

The animation suddenly morphed into a pen and ink drawing of the same building. Reality had set in. The artist was a young black woman, in a classroom, sitting at a desk in an urban high school which seemed to be falling apart. Outside, graffiti and decay ruled. It was a world without hope.

There was a voiceover:

IF YOU DON'T CHOOSE THE FUTURE YOU WANT

YOU DON'T GET THE FUTURE YOU WANT

The screen went to black. Silence. Then a URL: www dot legionnaires dot com

then clicked another button. It was a blueprint of a building and a complex, down to heights, dimensions, cost projections, and materials needed. The same ribbon-like sigil appeared on the blueprint as from the animated building. This was a real-life working of what had been only shown as a concept.

"It can happen."

"That would take money," said Daria.

"I have money."

"That would take too much money. I don't think you have that much money."

"No amount of money is too much money. Not for this."

"This is crazy."

"Yes, Daria Morgendorffer. As crazy as three girls from a suburban town suddenly having unexplained powers."

"We couldn't do it," said Jane.

"Couldn't you? The three of you worked wonders yesterday."

"We don't have those skills. You need Jodie Landon, or Chelsea Clinton, or someone like that," said Jane.

"I want you."

"People in hell want ice water," said Daria.

"So why are people in hell, then? Why don't they just leave?"

"That's a rhetorical trick. I'm not persuaded. This is dumb."

Stark looked at the other two. "What about you, Quinn?"

Quinn was taken aback. She felt very much the junior with her big sister and her friend dominating the conversation. "Well…uh…why not me? Why not use my natural charms and popularity for the good of humanity?"

"Oh boy," said Daria, "Quinn's head is now inflated. Explosion imminent."

"Splendid. And you, Ms. Lane?"

"I don't see what's in it for me. I can't lead anything. I don't have any brains. I just draw."

"Fine. Draw. But come along."

"And of course, there's the prospect of compensation. I mean…Mom and Dad aren't home a lot and the creditors are knocking on the door…."

"Very good. If your parents are having money problems, I can take care of that."

"…then there's a trip to New York…the studio apartment…."

"Wait a minute!" Daria stood up. "You're going to let this guy bribe you?"

Jane folded her arms. "Look, Daria. I don't have money. We live from day to day at home. There's not a week that goes by that I don't worry about something bad happening. It's just Trent and me. We were on the run just yesterday! None of us had anywhere to go! And dammit, if being in a stupid infomercial is going to take care of that, then I'm going to make my deal with the devil."

"Excuse me? This isn't the same Jane Lane that vandalized a poster last year because it was turned into something that offended her personal integrity?"

"So what does my personal integrity have to do with this?"

"You don't actually _believe_ what this guy's trying to sell? This phony vision of the Jonestown of Tomorrow?"

"I don't know what I believe!" shouted Jane. "Hey, at least I'm willing to give the damn thing a chance! I'm not signing a contract! I can leave whenever I want, right?"

"Right," said Stark.

"And what do we have without this guy? Nothing! We can get on the plane to Los Angeles and hope we don't starve to death. Or hope that you don't get sent to Happy Acres when the authorities catch up with all of us. I think I'd rather hope in a future full of flying cars, first!"

"I can't believe this," said Daria. "You don't see the strings attached. I'm not going to be a part of anyone's vision of the future but my own. I'm leaving."

"Jane, Quinn," said Daria. "Leave the room. I wish to talk to Daria, alone."

"I've heard enough."

"Jane? If you please?" Jane stood up to go. Quinn was torn between staying and going.

Stark counted out five one hundred dollar bills. "Five hundred dollars. For five minutes of your time. If you don't care for what I have to say after that, you take the money and you walk out the door. No strings attached, and you have a nest egg to get started in your new life."

"Dah-ria!" said Quinn. "You'd be crazy not to take it!"

Daria looked down. Jane and Quinn were staring at her. She was trapped between them and Stark.

"Five hundred dollars. You have three hundred seconds. Then I'm out of here."

Stark made a "hurry up and get out of here" gesture with his hands. Jane and Quinn rapidly left.

"Why can't I read your mind?" said Daria. "What are you?"

"Daria, I hope you don't think this is carrot and stick. Jane and Quinn are much more free to leave than you are."

"Why?"

"Because", said Stark, "without the help of this project…you'll probably be dead or crippled in a month."

"Hardly."

"I've talked to Jane. Headaches. Nosebleeds when you receive a lot of information all at once. I'll bet that you sometimes having tingling in your fingers or a tightness in your chest. Short of breath?"

"No. Not that. But the other things." Daria hated to concede even that much.

"Not migraines. Not hallucinations. Not schizophrenia. Ordinary high blood pressure. Which comes when your use your powers. That means a major stroke down the line if it's untreated, which will leave you paralyzed, or dead if your stroke is in the brain stem. You've not noticed yourself zoning out? Suddenly inattentive to things around you? Gaps in your memory?"

"No."

"Then you've not had a transient ischemic attack. Lack of oxygen to the brain, or what is called a 'mini-stroke'. Of course, the tests you had done at the hospital would have found that."

Daria's mouth felt suddenly dry. "I can treat myself. Take pills."

"What kind of pills? What part of your brain controls your powers? Is it the brain stem? One stroke there kills you, dead as a doornail. Do you depend on Joe MD at the free clinic somewhere on the streets of Los Angeles to diagnose that properly? Is that headache from just trying to make it as a runaway or is it the big brain-busting episode that robs your best friend Jane of what I fear is her only friend, or robs Quinn of her older sister?"

"So I stay with you or I'm dead? Those are my options?"

"No. There's always a third way. You stay with the project long enough to get your powers under control. Maybe there's a way to use them without bringing up your blood pressure. We use a wrist monitor, biofeedback techniques to keep you calm and focused. You try my way. You get the powers under control. And then, when you're satisfied that you're no longer a danger to yourself and others, you give everyone the dirty bird and you leave."

"'The project'?"

"The Legion."

Daria felt doomed. She knew that he was right. Hell, even if he was making it all up, she didn't know what was happening to her. Would Jane and Quinn go with her? Would they refuse? Would they call her parents? What would happen?

"God damn it. You're crazy. I should have kept my big mouth shut."

"Should have left me to die on that plane?"

"No. Not that. But this? This isn't an alternative. We're prisoners. An army of youth, under no supervision…but yours. You as the man holding the purse strings. I don't think your vision is going to come true that way."

"Mmm. Hardly. Hardly at all." Stark walked over to the door. "Jane, Quinn, I believe our conversation is over."

The two stepped in. Jane was worried that Daria was very angry at her. Quinn was worried that Daria would make a scene and force Quinn to make a decision that she didn't really want to make. It had stopped being a fun adventure with the plane ride. Stark's commercial seemed to be the only way out.

"Who among you is the leader?"

"I am!" shouted Quinn.

"Uh, no," said Jane. "Never in a million years."

"Daria?" asked Stark. Daria just stared daggers at him.

"That leaves you, Jane? Do you accept?"

"Uh..sure." _Why the hell not?_

"Good, then." He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, along with an envelope. "This is a list of names and numbers. I've already called Dawn Hall; she's on her way out here as your advisor. She's a strong woman. Don't let her boss you around. Technically, she's your subordinate."

"Oooo-kay." Jane took the items with a dead hand. "So if she gives us any trouble, we call you, right?"

"There shall be no calling me. I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" asked Quinn.

"On the lam. On the run. Incognito. Going underground. Getting the hell out."

"Hey! You can't leave me with all of this!" said Jane.

"I'm afraid so. I'm in a lot of trouble. A lot of a lot of a lot of trouble. Truly unimaginable amounts of trouble. The three of you, being minors, are in marginally smaller amounts of trouble, which will be taken care of with Dawn Hall's help. Then, of course, there are your parents. And if Daria Morgendorffer is in terror of her parents, you can guess that I don't bloody well want to be here when they show up!!"

"So who's going to run this thing?" said Daria.

"The three of you. You are the bosses now. You have the resources of the Quest Corporation behind you, so make it happen. Daria, you might want to read about a man called John Boyd. You'll find it fascinating, there are some original works by Boyd in the library."

"We can't run a corporation!" said Quinn. "We don't know how!"

"Perhaps. Maybe it will all blow up in a mountain of litigation. But I have learned one thing. Your friend, Daria, is right. The Legion will never happen if I'm here to provide guidance. I'm an adult. I'm already corrupt. The youth…must…lead. You must take the wheel and captain your own destiny!

"Now if you excuse me, I'm on the run. I expect 'America's Most Wanted''s cameramen to break through at any minute. If shots are fired, do not come and rescue me. I might only have hours left. Goodbye, and good luck!"

Stark then began running for the door. Daria began running after him.

"Hey! Wait up, dammit!" She opened the door as Stark climbed into a waiting Honda Accord. The car sped down the circular road and out of the estate.

"Why can't I read your mind?!" Daria shouted. ** Goddamnit, come back here!! ** Daria was left alone to watch the car disappear.

Daria turned around and walked back towards the mansion, to the entrance hall. A stunned Jane and Quinn were waiting for her.

There was silence for a full minute. Then Daria said, "Lane…the next time I open my mouth…shove a boot in it, will ya?"


	9. 2:1 More Money, More Problems

Jane looked outside form an upstairs window of Russell Stark's mansion.

The landscape was far from immaculately maintained. The grass had been mowed and obvious weeds had been tended, but the mansion left the impression of slowly going to seed. The terrain looked uneven, as if the primary reason for locating the house in the middle of nowhere was that Stark was looking for the most nowhere he could find. It was not so much a mansion as a rustic lodge grown past its boundaries. Most of the rooms in the house were empty, and aside from the three girls the only staff members were a maid, a cook and an all-purpose butler.

Jane still held Russell Stark's phone in her hands, along with two typewritten scraps of paper. They were a list of phone numbers under various headings – financial, legal, security, computer science, public relations, the heads of Stark's far flung empire. Jane wondered if they knew she might be calling, or what she would say if someone called her on the cellphone. She remembered Daria telling her that Stark was a billionaire, a computer genius of some sort.

Daria, Quinn, and Jane were now heiresses to unimaginable wealth. This wealth was to be put to one particular use, namely the "Legion" that Stark dreamed about. And Jane, Quinn, and Daria were to be Legionnaires – whatever that meant.

Maybe they were the ones who had to decide what it meant.

_With a wave of my hand, I can solve all of my family's financial problems. I can bring Trent up here, get him some decent equipment. I would never run out of art supplies. I could have a new computer. Maybe a car if I wanted it._

Jane was embarrassed that with all of this power at her disposal, all she could think of was paint and new speakers for Trent. _Maybe a truckload of speakers. Maybe I'd buy him a spot in Radiohead. _

This was too much to think about. She needed to talk to Daria. To get Daria's perspective, especially since Daria thought the whole idea patently ridiculous.

Frankly, if they could leave this creepy empty mansion, Jane Lane wouldn't mind it at all. Provided, of course, she could take the water-powered computer with her.

(la la LA la la)

Quinn doodled on a pad in her plain-looking empty room. _It smells like someone died in here! Maybe the curtains killed them._

On her pad, she had written:

_Shoes, accessories – whole new wardrobes, London, Paris, Milan  
New Italian car – when I can drive (get chauffeur)  
Things for the Fashion Club  
Subscriptions to all fashion magazines  
GOLD CARDS  
Learn romantic languages  
Cute dog  
Plastic surgery (???)  
Vacation EVERYWHERE!!!!  
Throw huge parties (invite popular people)_

A knock on the door called Quinn from her fantasy world. She threw the pad under the pillow. "Who is it??"

"How many damn people are in this building? Who do you think it is?"

"Oh." Quinn was disappointed. "Come in."

Daria stepped into the room, and before she could say something, Quinn had her speech prepared.

"Look, Daria, your life may be over, but mine is just beginning! I'm going to stay! You can't make me go with you! You just don't know the incredible burdens of being cute and popular! And now that I've finally learned my purpose in life, I have to use that gift Daria!" Quinn looked at Daria, serenely. "I have to bring the message to the world! Like Mother Teresa, only better looking!"

"And what do you think Mom and Dad are going to say about that?"

"I've figured it out! We tell Mom and Dad about the cash and they forgive us!"

"So you think that Mom and Dad will just let us spend this stuff the way we want to? I shudder to think what you've picked out. I'd give up on that baby unicorn if I were you."

Quinn blushed.

"Stark didn't think about one thing. We're still minors, all of us. Mom and Dad come in, sweeping down like parental hawks, end of discussion."

"Yeah," said Quinn. She folded her hands in front of her lap. "I guess it was too much to ask for. Someone else will get all of the money. And we go back to Lawndale. Although…I miss Mom and Dad."

Daria didn't want to admit that she missed anyone. "Okay. But I can't go back there. I don't trust Mom. But…if you want to go back, I guess that's okay."

"Are you going to be okay, Daria?"

_"I'm sure I can get enough money somehow before the authorities catch up with me." And before my head explodes like an unwatched pressure cooker._

"Yeah…." Quinn stood up. "Does Jane know?"

"I think Jane has a lot on her mind. I'll talk to her. If Jane wants to go back to Lawndale…I won't stand in her way. Or your way. This is something I have to do for myself."

"Will you come back?"

Daria didn't know the answer to that one. She was really hoping that neither one of them would break down and have one of those embarrassing 'my God, I really will miss you so much' moments. An emotional scene with Quinn would probably be worse than facing her parents again.

Without warning, Jane Lane walked into the half-open door. "We got a call."

"Who?" asked Daria.

"Dawn Hall. Stark's friend. She's been sent here to help us, I think. And the first thing she said was 'don't do a damn thing until I get there'."

"And what did you tell her?"

"I said, 'okay'", said Jane, "I mean, none of us were doing a damn thing anyway."

(la la LA la la)

In two hours, Dawn Hall arrived by helicopter. She did not cut an imposing figure; her might rested in her energy and willpower.

When the three met Hall for the first time, they were surprised at how short she was. She was five feet tall in heels. She wore pink from head to toe, giving the aura of a Mary Kay cosmetics middle manager. Short cut blond hair and blue eyes finished the picture of immaturity, a picture that had deceived many an opponent.

"Dawn Hall, ladies. Let's go up to Stark's room and have a serious discussion of the mess Russell's made of things."

The three followed, glad for the extra motive power. Dawn Hall took the place behind Stark's desk. She was ready to dictate the order of battle.

"Jane Lane, Quinn and Daria Morgendorffer. I'm sure we'll all be getting to know each other very well in the near future. Now, to business.

"My impression is that this is a disaster in the making. Since Mr. Stark is still presumed alive – somewhere – the Quest Corporation takes over as a trustee of his estate. He named the three of you the only heirs in his will. It's all in legal plate with an army of lawyers behind it, so no one doubts your claim to what he wants to give you. My only defense in court would be that Stark was insane when he filled out those documents."

"And you know he wasn't insane," said Daria. She made the attempt to read Dawn Hall's mind.

Nothing.

NOTHING AT ALL. Not a thought. Not even static.

DAMMIT!!

** Who are all you weird people? Can't you give me an honest answer about anything? ANYTHING: **

Jane and Quinn immediately grasped their ears, with Quinn sinking to her knees.

**STOP SCREAMING AT ME**

It was Jane's thinking at Daria. Daria tried to control herself. Empty her mind of her anger.

Dawn Hall looked over the other side of the desk. "Are you all right?" she asked Quinn. Hall seemed completely unperturbed, as if Daria had not used her powers at all.

Jane and Daria helped Quinn up.

"Look", sighed Dawn, "Stark and I had a long discussion about you. I know everything…more or less."

"So why can't I read your mind, then?" said Daria.

"You were trying to read my mind? What the hell for? I'm trying to help you and the first thing you do is invade my privacy? Why don't you take some pictures while I'm undressing and sell them on the Internet while you're at it? Or do you just read the mind of anyone who doesn't meet your standards of approval? I'm surprised these two are even hanging around you at all!"

"That doesn't answer the question," said Daria.

"Get used to not knowing everything, then. There are some walls you won't be breaching, and you don't get the keys to my innermost secrets for free." Dawn Hall straightened the papers. "Jane, Stark put you in charge, right?"

"I suppose," said Jane.

"Good. A better class of person to talk to, then." Dawn Hall looked very angry and the three shrunk.

"Now, there is a way out of this. You reject the will, reject the inheritance and Quest takes over everything again. You go back home, try to live your lives, keep your thoughts to yourself, and try not to destroy anything. Like Clark Kent on Smallville."

"And what about my powers? And my blood pressure?" said Daria.

"We take care of that at Lawndale. You get the treatment you need and I repair the mess. We get Jane back to her home and the Morgendorffer sisters go back to Mom and Dad."

"I don't think so," said Daria. "Even if I wanted to go – and I'm not saying that I want to go – two minutes with my Mom will bring my blood pressure sky high. Much less two months or two years."

"What's wrong with your blood pressure?" said Quinn.

"Hey," said Jane, "Stark trusted us with this money and he did it for a reason."

"You'll get enough money to take care of your problems."

"What about the Legion?"

"I'm not interested in the Legion." Dawn Hall rested back in the chair. "Another one of Russell's crazy ideas that never came to fruition. Trust us, when we see him again, he'll apologize for bringing the whole thing up."

"You really want as far away from this Legion as possible", said Jane.

"Tell me about it. I have no intention of babysitting anyone. I don't have any children of my own; I don't need three more. That's your mother's job, not mine."

"I've changed my mind," said Daria. "On second thought, I want the Legion to succeed."

"Why?" asked Dawn.

"To shut you up," said Daria. "And you didn't answer my question."

"And I'm not going to answer it either. Like I said, no free pass into my brain."

"If I had what Stark promised me, I would learn how to control my powers without endangering my health…and I **would** have a free pass!"

"There's nothing in my head that you're not being told right now. Besides, Ms. Daria Morgendorffer…the Legion is just not for you."

"Why not?"

"From what I read, Russell planned this as a youth organization. Public relations. Charity work. Political activism. None of the three of you have the credentials. And as for you, Ms. Daria Morgendorffer…definitely not. I can tell just from your demeanor that the Legion's ship would sink the second you stepped foot on it."

"Wait a minute!" said Jane. "I remember talking to Russell Stark. He put me in charge."

"Why, sure, Ms. Lane. In charge of the Legion."

"That's not how I remember it. Let me put it this way…if Russell Stark told you to do something…would you do it?"

"Of course."

"Because he's your boss? Or for other reasons?"

"It's not mutually exclusive."

"But if he asked you for a favor…you would do it…right?"

Dawn Hall hesitated. "Of course. Mister Stark is a great man, in every sense of the term."

Jane put her hands on her hips. "Then what I'm telling you right now is that Russell Stark wanted to see the Legion happen. He said that we were in charge. That's the way I remember it. If you want to fight the will in court, and go against Mister Stark's wishes, then I guess you have the right to do that. But he said that we were to have whatever we needed."

"We want the Legion." Jane stood firm. "And I say, what we need right now is help with a lot of things. And I want you to help us."

"With what?"

"Get Daria on good terms with her Mom."

"Hey!" said Daria. "Isn't that my business?"

"Not anymore, Miss Mind Reader! I don't want to see my best friend in trouble, and Daria, I know that your Mom can cause trouble. So help Daria patch it up with her Mom."

"I'll see what I can do," said Dawn Hall, "I'm not a social worker."

"I think the two of you are a lot alike," said Jane. "Next, my brother misses me and I miss my brother. So bring him up here to Utah. Get him a room. Preferably on the other side of the mansion – he likes to play guitar."

"Sure…why not add more animals to the menagerie? Another five hundred dollars of Russell Stark's money that he earned out the window. Why not?"

"Next, clean this place up a bit. I mean, if we're going to be staying here for a while, you could turn on some more lights and clean up some of these rooms."

"Ten thousand dollars for cleaning. Got it. Should I buy you the State of Delaware while I'm at it?"

"Nah. Delaware sucks," said Jane, "I would want California. I'll also have a list of art supplies that you have to buy me."

"And I want some new clothes, too!" said Quinn.

"Probably another ten thousand dollars", mumbled Dawn Hall.

"How about some transportation?" said Daria.

"Hell no. That's non negotiable, and I don't care what Stark said. If you young ladies disappear, I answer to him. No."

"Some pizza?" said Daria.

"That I can do."

"Can I invite the Fashion Club over for a slumber party?"

"NO!!" the three of them shouted in unison.

"I might as well be at home in Lawndale," mumbled Quinn. "And by the way, Daria, what's wrong with your blood pressure?"

"Good question, Quinn," said Jane. She turned to Daria. "So, do you care to fess up?"

Daria groaned.

(la la LA la la)

It had taken several hours, but Dawn Hall had brought Helen and Jake to the Utah mansion. Hall figured that Helen Morgendorffer would be so ecstatic to know that her daughter was all right that she'd leap through the telephone if she had to.

Of course, thought Hall, that would mean that a long plane flight and car trip would give the parents of the Morgendorffers a chance to get their stories straight on the way. Undoubtedly, the Morgendorffers would demand their errant charges immediately, and if Hall didn't act quickly, the Legion would be dead without either Daria or herself having anything to do with it.

From some quick phone calls, she learned that Helen Morgendorffer was a lawyer with some legal firm in Lawndale. Very shrewd, and very intelligent, very forceful, a dominating presence. The husband, on the other hand, ran an unsuccessful consulting business, even though he had done well for a marketing firm several years ago and had a military school background. Jake Morgendorffer would be an X factor. It was best to concentrate on the upcoming clash with Helen.

Jane had explained to Dawn Hall that the Morgendorffers thought their daughter was schizophrenic and wanted her to be put into a mental institution. Dawn Hall found that hard to believe, although nothing could be ruled out.

The pink cell phone rang. Hall picked it up.

"Ms. Hall, Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer are coming up the drive."

"Thank you. I'll see them in." Hall, in her immaculately tailored suit, marched down to meet the family. Daria and Quinn didn't even know their parents were there. Hall made sure that the three of them were distracted by bringing in laptops, computers, and other gifts for the girls to be amazed over. While the girls played, the adults would talk.

Helen and Jake Morgendorffer walked into the entrance hall. Both were dressed casually, although it looked like neither of them had gotten any sleep. Dawn Hall smiled the smile of a shark.

"Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer? Dawn Hall, assistant chairman of the Quest Corporation!"

"Are the girls alright? Are they? Are they?!? YOU CAN'T KEEP THEM FROM US, DAMMIT!!" Jake's looked as if he would pass out.

"Jake!!" Helen stared Jake back into submission. "Ms. Hall, I'm Helen Morgendorffer. You'll have to excuse my husband, Jake. This has been very hard on us! All that we want is to see Daria and Quinn again."

"Well, frankly, Mrs. Morgendorffer, that might not be possible."

Helen was confused, then angry. "Why not?"

"I've heard some stories that don't set my mind at rest. Very frightening stories. My lawyer is waiting in another room in the mansion as we speak. I'm very concerned about the safety of your daughters. It would be very negligent of me as a Quest executive to turn minors over to an untrustworthy person."

"Untrustworthy?" said Helen, taken aback. "Why – why what kind of stories have Daria and Quinn been telling you?"

"We would never hurt our daughters! Never!" Jake was wounded.

"Well…" said Dawn Hall, sighing, "maybe it's just been an exaggeration. Perhaps a lawyer isn't necessary. The two of you can come to my office and I can get the stories straight. Just an informal meeting might settle everything."

"Of course!" Helen lept at the opportunity for Hall not to have her lawyer present. "We'll settle this right away!"

(la la LA la la)

"Another martini, Mr. Morgendorffer?"

"Don't mind if I do!" purred Jake.

"Jake! Don't make Ms. Hall go to the trouble!"

"I don't mind, really." Dawn Hall poured the glasses.

"I'm glad you were able to see it our way, Ms. Hall!"

"Call me Dawn!" She hated to admit it, but she did like Mrs. Morgendorffer. "I mean, what I heard about forcibly institutionalizing your daughter, it gave me the chills!"

"Well…Dawn…that's just not the case. We were worried about the source of the voices that Daria was hearing. We wanted her to get help. Daria would have resisted, I know she would have, but I was worried about her health. We would never have forced Daria into anything, and if the staff used any kind of forced drug therapy, much less electroshock, I would have had Daria out of there immediately! I'm not going to beat my daughter into submission, with drugs or any other way."

Dawn Hall nodded. "Yes…it was a hard decision to make. But you know, Helen, maybe you were damned if you do and damned if you don't, so to say. If Daria had serious mental disability, you would have been correct."

"And Quinn told her. Quinn! I had hoped Quinn would have been more mature. Actually, I'm surprised. I'm sad to say that Daria and Quinn don't get along."

"So this is Russell Stark's place? The billionaire?" Jake looked around and gave a low whistle.

"Yes. Stark met them on the plane. He's an eccentric man and he took a shine to your girls immediately. Unfortunately, that turned out to a problem."

"He didn't try to molest them…did he?!?" Jake looked panicked.

"No, Mr. Morgendorffer. He wanted to help them. He wanted to see your family reunited, and he wanted to give the girls some money as well."

"How sweet!" said Helen. "How much money?"

Dawn Hall told them.

She regretted it. Jake had to do most of the heavy lifting of Helen afterwards.


	10. 2:2 Family Togetherness

Daria, Jane, and Quinn sat in Daria's room. The floor was covered with empty boxes and wrapping paper strewn about all over, with Quinn maintaining a running commentary of woe.

She held a sweater up to her chest. "Deer? DEER?! Do you know how geeky deer are? It's like, hell-oh! I'm not my grandmother, there's no way I'll meet cute guys on the slopes wearing an embroidered deer! And the orange sweater? My god! Tropical colors and winter fashions, are a must-not! Never let someone who dresses in pink do your clothes shopping for you! If I have to be locked away in here with Ms. Hall buying my clothes, it might as well be murderer's row! She probably thinks pleated skirts are in! My popularity will plummet! Hmm…I wonder what Mormon boys like?"

Jane looked over to Daria. "That's it, the pleated skirt comment, she has to die now!"

"I've already set the date. Don't try to change history." Daria was busy playing with her new laptop. She wondered why Dawn Hall had bought the three so much stuff for no good reason. "Why don't you draw something?"

"Why don't _you _write something? I'm not in the mood. Although the boxes of paint are just what I needed. And real canvas, too instead of cardboard."

Quinn interrupted. "Jane, does the shade of blue in this sweater match the blue in these slacks? Colors have to _match_ and not _almost-match_!"

"Gaahh!" Jane put her hands over her ears. "I'm getting out of here! The other side of the mansion, anything but this!"

The door opened and Dawn Hall burst in. "Daria, Quinn! Your mother's here in my office! She's unconscious!"

The three stopped the argument. Quinn ran past the door past the three of them at full tilt. Daria quickly closed the laptop and half-ran, half-jogged behind Quinn. Dawn Hall followed behind, leaving Jane by herself.

"Ah hell," said Jane to an empty room, "it will be fun, at least!" She ran out to play catch-up.

(la la LA la la)

"Kiddo! I'm so glad you're all right!"

Jake Morgendorffer had Daria in a bear hug. Daria grimaced, as her father was holding her too tight and too close for comfort. Quinn anxiously attended to a dizzy Helen, dabbing her forehead with water.

"Mom! Mo-oommm!! Say something!!"

"Uh…." Helen's eyes flickered open. "…h-how many billion dollars?" She blinked. "Quinn…is that you?"

Quinn hugged Helen.

"I missed you, Mom!" Helen hugged her younger daughter back.

Helen slowly climbed to a sitting position. "Daria! Daria, thank God we found you! Thank God you're safe!"

"Not safe…" moaned Daria…"parent…crushing…ribs…breaking…!!"

"Jake…I think Daria understands!"

Jake grinned wildly, and looking at Helen, let go of Daria, who immediately straightened her jacket a few centimeters.

"So," said Daria, "exactly how mad are you?"

"I'm…I'm…." Helen tried to find words. "I don't care. I'm not mad, I'm happy!! I'm very, very happy!!" She stood up to put Daria in her own crushing parental bearhug. Quinn and Jake grabbed Daria from the other side, leaving Jane to watch a very annoyed Daria.

"It's good when a family comes together!" said Jane. "That's how we do it in the Lane family! We ignore our problems, too!"

"Works for me," mumbled Daria, slowly extricating herself from the Morgendorffer huddle.

"I would like to announce," said Dawn Hall, "that all of you will be guests at the Russell Stark mansion for a couple of days…if, that is, it's okay with you Helen?"

"Of course!"

"What about Eric?" said Daria.

"The hell with Eric!"

"Yeah!" said Jake. "The hell with Eric! Eric can go to hell!! Daria…Daria, why did you feel you had to run away?"

"I'm not going to a mental hospital. You should have known at least that much about me."

"You weren't going to be admitted against your will, Daria!" said Helen. "But we know that if we didn't bring you there, you would never have known how concerned we were. You would have never taken that seriously."

"Not take it seriously? Try me. Why do you think I ran out?"

"Daria, you don't have to go anywhere you want to go! The only thing we want is all of us together again!"

"And the crazy voices in my head? And the happy pills you want to give me?"

Dawn Hall interrupted. "I told Helen that you had talked things over with Russell Stark, and that you had agreed to be seen by his doctors. Helen thinks that's a good idea, and since you yourself think it's a good idea, Daria, I don't see what the problem is."

_Helen?_ Dawn Hall calling her mom by her first name smelled fishy to Daria.

"So…" said Dawn Hall, "why don't I prepare a room for everyone where we can have some quality time?"

"Of course!" said Helen. "We can have a nice family dinner. And I promise, Daria, that no decision about your health and your well being will ever be made without your permission again!"

Daria stared at the ground. "Uh…allright", she mumbled. She didn't want to continue the conversation. Helen had already made one such decision; there was no guarantee that things would not return to "normal" once everyone got home. Suddenly, Daria felt much more comfortable in Russell Stark's deserted mansion that she would have felt in the bosom of her padded room at Lawndale.

(la la LA la la)

"Trent!!"

"Hey Janey!" Trent carried his guitar with him into the entrance hall. Jane wrapped him in a bearhug, but Trent didn't mind, not at all.

"Trent, I'm glad you're here! I can use a little less Morgendorffer family togetherness!"

"Yeah." Trent coughed. "So…how's Daria doing?"

"Well…everyone's pretending that everything's okay right now. The spell on Daria's mom will probably wear off when the full moon comes, and then she reverts back to her wolf form. So I think she'll be glad to see you just to get away from her parents."

"How are you?"

_Gee, Trent, where do I start?_ "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Soda is cool."

"Well, sit down, Trent. You're going to need all the soda you can handle."

(la la LA la la)

The afternoon passed in a quite uncomfortable way. Jane and Trent watched with amusement as Helen and Jake attempted to compensate for their lack of attention. Quinn basked in the glow of being in the center of someone's universe again. To Jane and Trent, it was completely dysfunctional, which is what made it so awesome cool. Jane, frankly, was a little jealous.

** - Jane, how the hell do I get away from these people? - **

**I'll think of something** "Say, Trent…why don't you get our your guitar and play some tunes?"

"Tunes?" said Jake. "Awesome! Do you know, 'I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing!'"

"Trent," said Helen, "you wouldn't happen to know the words to 'You've Got a Friend'?"

"Or 'Pieces of Me' by Ashlee Simpson?" said Quinn.

"Help!" said Daria.

"Sorry," said Jane, "got to float a boat. I'll be back!" She wanted no more of Morgendorffer togetherness, at least not for a few decades. As Jane left the room, Trent was asking the three if they had heard of Korn.

Jane snuck out of the room, grabbed Stark's blue phone and dialed X01. "Ms. Hall? Jane Lane here? We need a rescue and we need it fast!"

"From what?"

"Uh…from joy, happiness, and parental love. Would that be too much to ask?"

(la la LA la la)

"Thank God you got the butler guy to show Mom and Dad around!" said Daria.

"Yeah!" said Quinn, "it meant that Trent had to stop playing!"

"Well," said Dawn Hall, "there are a few minor matters that need to be taken care of. You want the Legion to succeed, and we need to discuss that right now."

"So," said Daria, "have you told my parents about our powers?"

"No." _One crisis at a time_, thought Hall. "The Legion is taking all of my brainpower." _For example, how to kill this idea._

"Daria and I were talking about this this morning," said Jane.

"Hey! Why wasn't I told?" asked Quinn.

"As I was saying," continued Jane, "we thought that tsunami relief would be a good idea. Maybe we could go over there and help in some way."

"Significant help, but anonymous help," continued Daria. "There are a lot of people there ahead of us."

"Exactly," argued Hall, "which means that it doesn't give us the profile we want. Furthermore, your abilities wouldn't be significant. Quinn can't power an entire village. Jane would be good for moving rubbish about, but that's it, and I doubt Daria would be able to locate survivors."

Jane and Daria looked crestfallen. Hall was right. Flying to Indonesia seemed like a dumb idea.

"On the other hand," said Hall, "you can definitely raise money for tsunami relief with your abilities. Give me a couple of days. The Mormons have a lot of money and I'm sure they can be convinced to give more."

"Raise money? As…entertainers?" said Daria.

"Cool!" said Quinn. Daria glared daggers at Quinn.

"Quinn's right," said Hall. "We know that all of you can do a few simple things. We'll put together a show, a presentation. Entertainment. People will contribute, and it raises the foundation of the Quest Foundation."

"You mean, 'the Legion'," said Jane.

"Same thing, really."

"What if our parents plan to drag us home?" said Daria.

"I've discussed Russell's ideas with your parents. They think it's a good idea for you to do some charity work. Furthermore, I talked it over with your principal, and she seemed quite happy to have you working for Quest."

"For a kickback?" said Daria.

Hall grimaced. "Uh…yes. For a kickback." Dawn Hall supposed that Angela Li's avarice knew no bounds.

"We're not entertainers. We wouldn't even know where to start," said Daria.

"Let me take care of that. A few simple tricks. Enough to please an audience. And as for you, Daria," said Dawn Hall, "your doctor will be here tomorrow. So you have three or four more days of freedom." Hall loved how she framed the last sentence…it went right by the three unwary young women.

_Russell, when I catch up with you again, you and I are going to have another talk about your dumb ideas. Which, of course, you'll ignore. Well, you might be an immovable object, but I'm an irresistible object. And I don't think the Morgendorffers have anything on me when it comes to 'irrestistible'_.

(la la LA la la)

"Daria? I'm Dr. Burchell."

Daria reached over the desk to take Burchell's hand. Mary Helen Burchell was an older woman, middle-aged, with Quinn's figure but with an aura of authority to set off the long gray hair and wrinkles.

"I'm going to try to help you with your problem. Your mother also wants to make sure that your blood pressure problem is just that…blood pressure. And nothing else."

Daria squirmed. "Are you a psych?"

"No. Dawn Hall filled me in."

"So…exactly how many people know I can read minds? Counting Trent, Mister Stark, Dawn Hall, and you, that makes far too many."

"Someone has to know. Ms. Hall doesn't have the medical background. For right now, we'll assume that your problem is secondary hypertension – hypertension caused by something else other than the standard causes."

"Which means my brain."

"Right. And I'm going to treat you with a thiazide diuretic at first."

"A diuretic?" Daria turned white at the thought of accidentally losing control over her bladder.

"HCTZ has fewer side effects. I'd rather you be inconvenienced with a run to the bathroom rather than losing your vision or suffering a stroke."

"Great."

"In the meantime, you'll be wearing this." Dr. Burchell walked over and snapped a computerized wrist band on Daria's left wrist.

"What's that?" Daria felt the wrist band inflate, putting pressure on her inner lower arm.

"Blood pressure gauge. This device will monitor your blood pressure up to every two minutes. We can also monitor it when you're using your powers, see how high it's getting and develop some biofeedback techniques to get it under control. The device also measures skin temperature. When you're tense and anxious, your skin temperature will drop.

"When that happens, a light will come on and a small tone will sound. The goal is to get you aware of your body and figure out on your own somehow how to control the power before it hurts you."

"Maybe I could just stop reading minds completely."

"Doubtful. The power is a part of you. It would be like promising never to use your left leg again. There's always the danger of involuntary use. So this is something we have to approach seriously."

More work ahead. Daria hated it, having to come face to face with the fear that Stark had put in her head. Like it or now, however, it was the way she was now. Quinn could throw electricity without any side effects, and Jane never had headaches when she used her magnetic powers.

_Why am I always the one who gets the short end of the stick?_

(la la LA la la)

"Fluffy!!"

Sandi Griffin called out to the backyard. "Fluffy!! FLUFFY!!"

Griffin heard a voice calling from the living room. "Alexandra! Stop calling for that stupid cat! It's a house cat, it will come back! Stop making a fool of yourself!"

_You just hate my cat. You always have_. It took forever for Sandi to convince her mother that she was responsible enough to take care of a cat. And true to form, her mother hadn't helped her with anything, except to take Fluffy to the vet every now and then. Her brothers spent more time teasing the cat than feeding it.

"Fluffy!"

Damn stupid cat.

"Alexandra, get in here! Your friend is here!!"

Sandi made a noise of displeasure as she consigned herself to reenter the house. She walked over to the front door, where Tiffany was waiting.

"Hey, Tiffany."

"Heyyyyyyy. What are you doing?"

Sandi sighed. "Fluffy got out."

"Bumm-errrrr." Tiffany looked around. "So…cats come back home…right?"

"I hope so. Every now and then – " Sandi thought better of continuing. An explanation would be lost on Tiffany. "So…have you heard anything about Quinn?"

"I was going to ask you." Quinn had been out of school for about three days now. Daria was also gone, and Quinn's parents were gone, too. Rumor had it that the two girls had run away from home.

"As member of the Fashion Club, we have to decide how Quinn's action affects us. Like, for example, is running away cool enough to raise your popularity? Or is it shameful enough to lower it?"

"Yeahhh…and, why would Quinn run away? It's like hell-oh? Vice President of the Fashion Club?"

"It's probably that crazy cousin of hers! I bet she drove Quinn to it. Of course, running away with such an incredibly unpopular person is definitely not popular. We might have to put Quinn on sabbatical until we can determine how it impacts on the Fashion Club!"

Sandi inwardly smiled at the thought. She hoped that Quinn was safe, wherever she was. _Quinn should have come to me! I would have been glad to get out of here!_

The two girls entered Sandi's bedroom. Tiffany set her purse down.

"So…like…where's Stacy?"

Sandi frowned. "Stacy is having her 'moments'. Quinn's unexplained leave of absence is perplexing our secretary. This episode might also reflect negatively on Stacy's popularity as well."

"Ohhh."

"We also have to decide what we'll do if…you know…something very bad happens."

Sandi looked for a reaction from Tiffany. Nothing. A stone face. There was many a time Sandi felt like she was talking to a wall.

"If Quinn is dead. Or hurt," said Sandi.

"But…she's alive, right?"

"Yeah. But she might not be alive when they find her."

"Ohhh."

Sandi knew that she sometimes had to reinforce ideas with Tiffany if she wanted an immediate answer. There were times when Sandi thought Tiffany wasn't paying attention, but Tiffany was…and vice versa. Sandi really wished she were talking about this with Stacy, even though Stacy was a real pain in the neck. A sobbing and frightened Stacy was better sometimes than Tiffany. _At least with Stacy, you always know how she's thinking._ The two of them, averaged out, added up to something resembling a friend.

"Sandi!" It was Sam, from somewhere else. "Sandi, I see Fluffy out in the backyard!"

Sandi immediately ran downstairs. Tiffany followed along. As they opened the back door to the kitchen, certainly enough there was Fluffly, trotting home as if nothing interesting had happened.

"Fluffy! Come here, sweetie!!" Sandi bent down to embrace Fluffy when Fluffy got there. Tiffany bent down as well, most likely because Sandi had bent down.

As Fluffy got closer, the two girls saw that Fluffy was carrying something in his mouth.

"Ewwww!!!!"

Fluffy carried the mouse up to the Griffin doorstep. The cat dropped the mouse out of its mouth, expected to be rewarded by the gigantic brown-furred alpha cat that walked on its hind legs.

"That is soooo grosss!" said Tiffany.

Sandi looked at the mouse. The mouse was blue, the kind of blue that didn't appear in nature.

"Tiffany, does that mouse look midnight blue to you?" Fluffy looked at the two girls examining his prize.

"I think it's more a royyyyal blue…" said Tiffany.

AAACHHHOOOO!!! Fluffy sneezed, unexpectedly, a spray of cat spittle spraying both Sandi and Tiffany in the face!

"EWWWWWWW!!!!" said Sandi

"I'm allllergic….!" said Tiffany.

Tiffany began coughing wildly. As Sandi tried to hold Tiffany still – getting a face full of coughing from Tiffany – Fluffy confidently strode back into the house. After all, his work was done.


	11. 2:3 Health and Fashion Disasters

"How about this denim shirt? Navy blue?"

"Like no-ohh! Denim? We're not like on the golf team!"

Dawn Hall sighed. Thousands of dollars of design work and a redheaded ditz was sending it all to hell.

"Okay. These are pastel scoop necks. One hundred percent cotton."

Quinn looked over it with a practiced eye. "Too flimsy." She picked up a sample. "I can practically feel the low thread count!"

"All right." Hall opened up another box, pulling out a thick black windbreaker. "It can fit over anything you wear, so style isn't an option. Wear whatever you want to underneath."

"But, duh! That big "L" symbol makes you look like a Teamster! And, eww, you can smell the nylon!"

_This has to stop_. Dawn picked up her phone. "Jane…this is Dawn Hall…I need you for a meeting…it appears that your 'Fashion Consultant' is going to shoot down every idea that our own designers have thought up…yes…I'll wait for you." Hall put down the phone, as if to end further discussion.

"But Ms. Hall! You _can't_ let Daria and Jane decide what we're going to wear! Because that's what _I'm_ going to have to wear!"

"I've wasted an hour of my time here. We're going to come to a decision. Our presentation is tomorrow, and I'm going to have you look bold and distinctive, no thanks to you!"

Quinn looked ruined. "But…but…but that was my job! That was the job Jane gave me to do!!"

"Yes. And you _botched_ it. You're wasting my time. You're incompetent."

Jane and Daria entered the room. "Fashion makers to the rescue!" said Jane. "Whazzup?"

"It looks like a clothing store exploded in here," said Daria.

"No, it was your sister. She can't make up her mind!"

"You won't even listen to me…! You're not even giving me anything to do!!" Quinn looked around at staring and unsympathetic eyes. Seeing no help from anyone, Quinn ran out of the room in emotional distress.

"I've never seen anyone get rid of Quinn that fast before," said Daria. "Thank you."

Dawn Hall looked to an unlikely ally. "Daria, do you have any suggestions for a Legion uniform?"

"Yeah. A paper bag with holes in it."

"Seriously. Just…pick something. Please."

Jane picked up what appeared to be some sort of red looking cloth. "What about this? This sort of looks okay."

It appeared to be a loose fitting red jumpsuit. Upon closer examination, it was a two-piece garment with an elastic waistband and a hidden Velcro fastener that kept the blouse from becoming untucked. Next to the zipper, at the left breast, was a solid black circle with a lower case white cursive "L" inside.

"Jane," said Dawn Hall, gritting her teeth. "That is the clothing of the janitorial staff. I was running out of ideas with Quinn."

"Big deal. One size fits all. So we get dirty. Isn't that the idea? To be real?"

"Well…." Dawn Hall thought about Quinn's feelings…then ignored the thoughts. "The janitors can always wear something else. I'll use the jumpsuit idea and clothe each of you in distinctive colors."

"Don't forget the cape," said Daria, dryly.

Dawn Hall ignotred the comment. "Make that 'single tone' colors. Blue, red, pink."

"Are we entertainers or are we the Power Rangers?"

"I think I've wasted enough time already. Two piece elastic scrubs it's going to have to be. Thank you, Jane. I'll have them for you in a few hours. And the next time you send your sister up here to choose anything fashion related for the Legion, I'm going to make you repackage all of this crap."

(la la LA la la)

"Gahh!!"

Quinn fired a bolt of electricity from her right hand and blew the ceramic disk out of the sky.

"Excellent job, Quinn! Way to go!!"

Quinn muttered under her breath. She felt ignored. Daria, Jane, and now Dawn Hall were just bossing her around. And when she got back home, her Mom and Dad would do the same! And she was more powerful than Daria and Jane put together!

"Pull!" shouted Quinn.

The ceramic disk flew by. Quinn disintegrated it.

"Great control, Quinn! Your aim is good! Now let's see what else you can do!!" Quinn muttered some more under her breath. The disks had imaginary faces on them, and she enjoyed blowing them out of the sky.

Daria watched Quinn practice in the distance. Dr. Burchell walked along side her as they both went back inside.

"Quinn can do amazing things," said Daria. "I'd almost ask to trade powers with her, but I don't think I would wish mind reading even on Quinn."

"Have you even tried to read anyone's mind since you've been here?"

"Twice. And both times it didn't work, but I think there's more than meets the eye. Actually I've been trying to not to think about it at all." Daria explained a bit more of her predicament to Dr. Burchell.

"Daria, you have to practice this power. I think that the blood pressure is the least of your problems."

"Why?"

"Well…let me put it this way," said Burchell, smiling. "Something tells me that you've faced the disapproval of others before."

"You got that right."

"The problem," said Dr. Burchell, "is that someday, you might read a thought that you don't want to read. A thought that might be about you. We keep secrets from even the closest of our friends, and just because someone's a friend, that doesn't mean that we don't make negative judgments about them. You might be faced with a negative judgment. And you won't have the luxury of telling yourself that they didn't really mean what they were thinking."

This was not what Daria wanted to talk about. "All right. Let's change the subject. The entertaining thing. I have to read minds. What am I going to do?"

"A simple set of card tricks. Answering questions. Nothing serious. You pick out one simple thought, and you read it. You've done it before."

"It sounds harmless enough."

"Good," said Burchell. She took a deck of cards out of her labcoat. "Now," she said, picking a card from the deck, "tell me what card I'm holding."

Daria smiled. "The three of clubs."

Burchell turned the card. "Excellent. Again."

Daria concentrated. "You've picked the four of spades. But you're going to lie to me and tell me it's another card."

"That's very good indeed. Now let me try another one."

Daria concentrated again. The thought was a bit fuzzier. "The…King of Diamonds?"

"You weren't sure about that one, we're you?"

"No. I didn't hear you in my head."

"That's because I wasn't speaking to myself in my head. I tried not to say 'The King of Diamonds' as a phrase in my mind, merely to recognize the fact and remember it. You get the distinction?"

A beep went off. Daria looked down at her monitor.

"One forty over eighty," said Burchell. "Not good. Your blood pressure began creeping up with only a few reads."

"So what do I do?"

"You try to keep another thought running in the background. Like theme music. The memory of something very pleasant. Does anything give you pleasure?"

"Uh…reading."

"Good. We'll start there…."

(la la LA la la)

Daria and Dr. Burchell spent the next two hours practicing in an empty room in the mansion, which had been quickly furnished with a desk and a computer monitor. The two frequently had to stop because Daria's biofeedback indicator would go off almost constantly. Daria found that the process of hearing the monitor go off was making her more anxious instead of less anxious.

"One thousand three hundred sixteen," said Daria.

_Concentrate, dammit. Think of something calming. Like the ocean. No, I hate the ocean. Music? Well, the Offspring rock but it's not calming. Seeing Quinn humiliated?_

_Maybe that will work?_

"Snaggletooth." Daria thought that Burchell's word association tests were getting more and more ridiculous. Burchell warned her that she might have to read the thoughts of weird people, so the mind reading was now becoming more and more out of the ordinary.

PING!

The blood pressure monitor went off. Daria tried to think of Quinn being yelled at, Quinn in her neck up to concrete, Quinn thrown out of the Fashion Club, Quinn unable to get dates, Quinn drunk and ridiculous. It wasn't working.

"Hey."

Daria looked behind her. It was Trent.

"What's up?"

"Sorry, Trent. I'm…um…I'm in the middle of an exercise."

_Dammit, Trent. I'm trying to think of Quinn and you're killing my mental imaging. My blood pressure is going to take the hit, and I'll be peeing for an hour tomorrow morning after I take that damn pill._

"Keep going!" said Burchell. "You need to learn how to deal with distractions!"

"So what's up? – 'Superman'"

"Huh?"

"Sorry." Daria blushed. "I'm still reading Dr. Burchell's mind. I may say weird things every now and then. Do you…uh…plan on staying?"

Trent scratched the back of his head. "Might as well. It's not like the band has any gigs. I told Jesse I would call him back if I needed to. And there's nothing in the fridge to spoil."

"How's Jane?"

"Jane's cool. She's practicing her magnetic power."

"'The Lancastrians'." Daria was suddenly struck for a loss of conversation. "So…uh…hm…" Dammit, think of something to say!

"Hey," said Trent, interrupting with a cough, "it was me that bothered you. I'll let you get back to what you were doing!"

"'Koo Koo K'Joob!'"

Daria turned redder. Now she sounded like a moron. Trent smiled. "A Beatles fan. Good one, Daria. I'll see you."

Daria watched Trent walk away. "Dammit," she said, under her breath.

Dr. Burchell waited. "Daria…Daria?"

"Huh?"

"I was sending a thought. Were you paying attention?"

"Oh. Yeah." Daria sighed. "'Washington, DC'."

Dr. Burchell looked at the monitor readings. Daria's monitor was directly connected to the terminal; Burchell looked closely.

"Well, Daria, it seems that you've made some progress for the first time. Your blood pressure readings actually went down for the first time since we've been doing the exercise. No different from any young woman your age." Burchell looked up at Daria. "And I have a theory why this is so."

(la la LA la la)

Daria lay down in her room. She stared at the ceiling. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. A knock on the door forced her out of her thoughts for a few moments.

It was Jane. "Hey, amiga."

"Hey."

Jane smiled. "Notice something?"

Jane didn't look that much different. But for some reason she seemed…taller.

Daria looked down. Jane's feet were suspended a good four inches off the floor. Jane kicked at the empty air for emphasis.

" **I can fly!!** IcanflyIcanflyIcanfly!!"

"Thank you, Peter Pan!"

"This…." Jane smiled. "This just…rocks! I didn't know I could even fly at all until they started testing me. It has something to do with magnetic lines of force, or something. And when I learn how to do this right, I'm going to go anywhere I want to in the world! Of course, I can only go about four inches off the ground! But they said I could even go higher than that once I learned how!"

"That's…that's great."

"So, Daria…how's it going? With the blood pressure?"

"Well," Daria sighed. "Dr. Burchell thinks she's got the problem under control. We did another hour of testing today. My indicator didn't give the Ping of Death."

"That's awesome!"

"Yeah. I might even be able to walk down the streets without going crazy. Jane…I hate to say this, but I'm really really tired right now. I need a nap."

Jane was all full of adrenaline. "You do that! I'm going to show this to Trent!!"

Daria closed the door and pulled the covers down. She knew she wasn't going to sleep though.

_Trent. Thinking about Trent brings my blood pressure down. Thinking about him in that gooey gooey dumb teenager way brings everything down. Stupid hormones. Great. He's the only person I didn't want to think about while I was here. And now, I **have** to think about him, or my head blows up. This…is…just…great. If Jane, or anyone else finds out, I'll never hear the end of it. If Trent finds out…well…I hope Jane finds a place high enough to drop me._

_Crap!_ Daria climbed into bed and covered her head with the covers.

(la la LA la la)

"Quinn!"

"Uh…hi, Mom!" Quinn felt really embarrassed. Quest had been treating Helen and Jake to tours of the area while the girls practiced their powers. It was the only time that Helen and Quinn had been alone.

"Quinn, honey, we need to talk. Take a seat."

This couldn't be good. Quinn knew that nothing good came after "Quinn honey".

"Quinn, I want to tell you that…I understand what you did. You thought we were going to hurt Daria. However…I am disappointed that you couldn't be trusted with a confidence. So from now on, I might have to assume that whatever I tell you you're going to tell Daria. And I think that I've already decided a punishment for the two of you."

_Eap!_ "Uh…okay…."

"Quinn, I don't think you or Daria can be trusted with this amount of money. I understand that Russell Stark, whatever his motives, made you the heirs to a fortune. However, as long as we're your parents, you're not going to spend this money on trivialities. I want both of you, as well as Jane, to lead as normal a life as possible."

"O…kay." Quinn didn't quite get what it all meant.

"Therefore, we're not staying here in Utah. We're going back to Lawndale, we're going back home and the two of you are going back to Lawndale High School."

"You mean it? You…really mean it??"

Helen knew she would have to be firm. "I insist on it."

"YAYYYYY!!!!" Quinn started jumping around and immediately grabbed her mother in a hug. "Mom, can I call my friends? Can I let them know I'm coming back?"

"Um…of course, sweetie! But remember, you made a promise to help Ms. Hall with her charity work, and I'm holding you and Daria to that. So you can come to Utah every now and then…when you don't have homework or duties around the house or family responsibilites!"

Quinn thought this was great. She was tired of being pushed around by her big sister. "I'm going to call Sandi right away and let her know we're coming back! I love you, Mom!!" Quinn immediately bounced out of the room.

Helen scratched her head. She thought Quinn might have put up more resistance. Helen sighed. It had been a long time since she had been a teenager.

(la la LA la la)

"Gee, Quinn…so your cousin tried to run away?" Sandi couldn't wait to hear the rest of the story.

" Yeah, it was like, she was trying to head back to Utah to visit her abusive family again. And, well, you know Sandi, Mom was worried about her, and she sent me to escort her to make sure nothing happened to her! "

"Well…I suppose that was a good thing to do. A member of the Fashion Club, selflessly sacrificing her appearance priorities to help others!"

"Ohhh, Sandi! I didn't sacrifice my priorities! We even got new clothes from…uh…members of the family!" 

"So you'll be coming back to Lawndale?" Sandi figured that the boys would go wild when Quinn came back. It was time to figure out some humiliating story that would dampen the fires of popularity lit by Quinn's return. 'Quinn ran away for an abortion?' No, too cruel, even for her….Quinn needing plastic surgery, on the other hand….

"Yeah. In a few days." 

"So why didn't you – AHCHOO!!!" Sandi snorfled, and grabbed some tissues.

"What's wrong?" 

"I'm sick. I've missed two days of school. I can't even keep anything down."

"Wowwww…." 

"And Tiffany's missed two days of school too! I think I caught it from her! We have to get our gossip from Stacy! I've put Stacy on double fashion watch duty, so that we know who at Lawndale is trying to escape under the radar with their fashion disasters! Do you know that Heidi tried wearing **scrubs** to school yesterday?"

"Uh…yeah…well…I'm sure she…uh…had a reason!" The news had been delivered by Jane about the unfortunate fashion choices of the Legion.

Sandi rolled her eyes. "The Fashion Club bylaws have an entire section of scrubs, jumpsuits, and other articles of clothing appropriately called 'service wear'. The – !"

Quinn heard silence from the other end of the phone. "…Sandi…what's wrong…?" 

"I…I have to go!" Sandi dropped the phone, ran out of the room and raced to the bathroom. It was time to worship the porcelain god again.

(la la LA la la)

3:40 AM.

Tiffany hadn't slept. She knew that lack of sleep would be marginally damaging to her appearance. Bags under the eyes were just sooooo not done. It was a good thing that she was being allowed to miss a few days of school, at least until her mother sent her back out the door again.

She thought that at least, she didn't have the rash again. However, she had the same symptoms as Sandi. An inability to keep food down, which was a problem for Sandi but really wasn't for Tiffany. Looking thin was great! She hoped to stay nauseous for a long time!

However, the day before, she noticed that the pallor of her face was washing out. Her mother told Tiffany that she looked like a ghost. Very unflattering. Tiffany had already calculated how much makeup it would take to return her to her natural tones. She had been working with the makeup most of the night, since she couldn't get to sleep anyway.

In pajamas, Tiffany tip-toed to the private bathroom adjoining her bedroom. She flipped on the lights to see what kind of damage another 45 minutes of sleeplessness had done.

Tiffany looked at herself in the mirror. Instead of seeing a young, very tired, fashionable cute dark haired goddess, she saw what looked like the washed out, half-faded projection of one. She could actually see the reflection of the shower curtain in the mirror with the ghostly-half-image of her face, superimposed.

She looked at her hands. All she could make out were the faint outlines. She looked right through her right hand, making out the sink faucet that the hand should have obscured.

"…I am sooooo pale…." Tiffany made a decision. Next time, use more blush!!


	12. 2:4 The Show Must Go On

Dawn Hall paced backstage. She wondered that the show the Legionnaires had planned was going to be too amateurish. After all, these were some of the moneyed elites of Utah. They could see just about any show, David Copperfield, David Blaine, anything they wanted.

Hall doubted, however, that any audience would have as free a run of the stage as this one would. They could examine the set, examine the performers, as much as possible. It would promote the Legion and give it a public face, as well as raise money for tsunami relief.

"I hate these! They're itchy!"

Another complaint from the increasingly unhappy Quinn Morgendorffer. Hall received the uniforms that morning: blue for Quinn, red for Daria, and pink for Jane. Quinn immediately demanded the pink uniform, and then Jane wanted Daria's red one. As a result, the uniform sizes weren't quite right. Hall was just glad that they were scrubs.

"I don't know if I can handle this," said Daria.

"Trust me, we won't let 'em get too close to you. You'll be the last one. Quinn will astound them, Jane will surprise them, and you'll send what's left over into cardiac shock."

A man pointed to Dawn Hall from behind the stage. "I'm on. And remember, ladies – there's no way you can screw this up. Because anything you do will be something that they've never seen before in human history. Just be yourselves."

Dawn Hall strode out to the front stage to the applause of the moneyed executives. Each had already planned to give a significant amount to tsunami relief; the key would be in making them so happy they'd give more than the minimum – and the goal was to make sure that when it came time to roll out the Legion officially, the Legion would have a lot of high friends.

(la la LA la la)

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Quest Corporation's presentation. Today, for your entertainment, you are going to witness a historic event. Do not doubt what your eyes are showing you? Is it magic? Is it real? What is it?

"It – is –the Legion. This is power unmatched anywhere on earth. If you doubt what you see – you can come up to the stage. Get as close as you dare to. Ask questions. Set conditions. Blindfolded, upside down, what have you. Bet money that there is no, and I repeat, no magician that can do anything that these three young women can do.

"Do you doubt me? Then put your money where your mouth is. How much extra would you give if you thought it was real? Then set that extra money aside and be ready to give it to the Quest Corporation Tsunami Fund…you won't be dissatisfied!"

A drum roll started. "Without further ado, please welcome Jane Lane, Daria Morgendorffer and Quinn Morgendorffer…the LEGIONNAIRES!!"

The three girls walked out hand in hand…Daria in the middle and Quinn and Jane to either side. Quinn and Daria were glad to break hand contact, and Quinn was left to the stage all on her own.

(la la LA la la)

Daria watched as Quinn started her part of the show. In her pink scrubs, she asked anyone who had no history of heart conditions of any type to raise their hands. Many of the older men in the audience raised their hands, but not all of them.

"Oh, come onnnnn!" said Quinn as she batted her eyes. "I need six **strong, cute** men!!" The businessmen laughed and there was some argument as six more rugged types made their way up the stage. Quinn played kindergarten teacher, bossing these captains of business around as if they were children. She had the six of them link hands and the last man held a light bulb down at his side.

"And as you can see, I have nothing up my sleeves!" Quinn kicked off her shoes, and grabbed the first man by the hand. "Are you ready?" The men nodded.

Quinn put her hand up to her ears. "I cannnnn't heeearrr yoooo-oooo!!" The men happily shouted that they were ready, and the lights went down.

Quinn sent a small jolt which went through all of the men. The light bulb blew out as the men in the chain yelped and jumped (the light bulb had been specially primed to glow brilliantly and pop loudly). Everyone in the audience laughed as the six men looked stunned, but each enjoyed the wild applause from the audience.

"That goes to show you…never trust a girl!" More laughter as Quinn took her bows.

"And so that you don't think I'm cheating, you can come up on the stage…if you dare to!!" The audience sat still as the lights went down and Quinn let forth a fusillade of electrical effects from her own body. They were all eating out of the palm of Quinn's hand after that.

When Quinn began destroying thrown clay targets, she got more applause. Quinn drank in the attention, asking other wealthy men to "throw up a pidgeon", asking them about names and businesses, joking with them as if she had done this for years. Each man did his part and Daria could watch the audience members chatting with each other as if they were so filled with awe that they couldn't wait to share the experience with others.

Jane came out next, wearing her dark red Legion scrubs. "Ahem – are there any more of those six strong men?"

A few hands went up.

"Cool. I have some work for you to do. And I'm too lazy to do it, so get up here."

Even Daria was amused by the next stunt. There were cannonballs, weights, all kinds of heavy lifting things. The lightest of the objects was a good three hundred pounds, guaranteeing that the only way they could be lifted was in combination.

"I thought you guys were strong. Geez, they sure don't need _you_ for famine relief." Jane would then come along and "help" the guys, by grabbing some ridiculously heavy object and "lifting" it with her magnetic powers. At one point, she grabbed an item in each hand, and sarcastically asked, "do you want me to help you with _this_ one…or _this_ one?"

The six "strong men" faced good natured catcalls from their friends in industry. A charity event merely to be tolerated had become an informal get together among friends. Daria could almost feel the party atmosphere build up.

Jane levitated silverware, "threw" knives with uncanny accuracy, but the crowd stood and applauded when they brought out the "bars". It was a gigantic jungle gym, but Jane's magnetic abilities allowed her to master the gym (Jane's 'instructor' at Utah had already worked with her using a similar training device). Jane could "leap" from bar to bar and twirl rapidly.

At the end of her act, Jane "juggled" two three-hundred pound steel spheres. Two crates were brought out, obstensibly to support the spheres when she finished. Instead, Jane let the spheres fall and the crates were splintered into kindling.

Daria could feel the creeping sensation of anxiety set in. She tugged at the sleeves of her dark blue scrubs.

"Daria?"

Daria was surprised. It was Dawn Hall.

"Don't be anxious. Trust me, these people are ready for anything. There's no way you can screw this up. They'll eat up anything you do. Just be yourself."

_Thank you, Dale Carnegie. _

The props were cleared out of the way as Jane met Daria. "You okay?"

Daria looked at the blood pressure indicator. "One twenty six over seventy eight. It could be a lot better."

"Did you take your pee pill?"

"Yeah. My mouth's as dry as cotton."

"You want to know what to do?" said Jane, "find some dumbass and pick on him. These industry guys seem to like humiliation."

"Theirs, or mine?"

"C'mon? Where's that Morgendorffer sarcastic wit?"

"It's – uh…"

Dawn interrupted, pointing a stern finger. "Daria, GO!"

Daria stepped out onto the darkened stage, a spotlight following her. She looked around. Stage fright.

Everyone waited.

Daria knew she had to say something. "Uh…damn, it's really dark in here."

People applauded beyond the proportion of the remark. "O..kay. Since I don't have command of elemental forces, could someone turn on the damned lights?"

The lights went back up. "Thank you. My tricks aren't that great. I was going to do magic but the last two performers destroyed all of my props. Therefore, I'm just going to have to do a simple mind reading trick. All of you guys with the heart conditions can now take part.

"I warn you, this is real mind reading. Trust me, if there's info you don't want to get out in public, I don't know what's safe to blab and what's not safe. So this game is called, 'Stump the Legionnaire'. You ask me any question, no matter how obscure, or how personal, and I will answer the question. Do we have any volunteers?"

A woman stood up.

"What is your name, and what is your company's name? I need to know the second because if I read that the stock's going up, I'm buying."

More laughter. A woman raised her hand.

"You, in the angry looking jacket."

"Karen Maxwell, assistant vice president of Watson Electric. My father used to sing a song about a pirate. Do you know the name of the song?"

Daria began to read. "Yes. The name of the song is called, 'Olaf, King of the Sea'. But in order for me to sing it, you have to pay."

Laughter.

"And you have to pay me more to stop singing it."

"Don't make **me** sing it!" shouted Jane from the side of the stage.

"Then you'd empty the room. Next question?"

"Jared Young, comptroller of StarLand. I received my Master's at Brigham Young University. Tell me the name of the person under whom I did my master's thesis…and the name of his dog."

Daria smiled. "You didn't do a master's thesis. You completed your master's by exam. Your teacher was Dr. Wendy Pujols, and she had a dog named "Cycle", after the economic cycle…because it would chase its tail."

The crowd was now quite informal, and multiple hands went up. Daria regained her composure. The first part of the show seemed to be going well.

(la la LA la la)

Daria would remember for a long time what would happen after one question.

"My name is James Ulmann. I'm head of Ullman, Young, Taylor, and Kyper. What was the name of my first legal secretary?"

Daria concentrated. She read Ullman's mind.

**you're a little cutie I would like to see those legs of yours wrapped around me any time **

"That's not funny!" shouted Daria. "You're a perv!!"

Immediately, the crowd went wild at Ullman's expense. Ullman got a few good natured boos while Daria turned beet red with fury.

The indicator on Daria's wrist went off. She swore not to look at the numbers.

_think…think…_

She remembered the first time she saw Trent. Trent drove his car to the house to pick up Daria when Daria and Jane went to Brittany's party at Crewe Neck. He had his left arm resting on the rolled-down window and made eye contact with Daria.

Trent grinned. Daria could remember herself turning red. _Did…does…does he like me?_ He was very, very good looking….

As the audience laughed, Daria snuck a look at the indicator.

One oh seven over sixty six. She knew that her blood pressure had to cross over 140/80 for the indicator to go off. And…if she just kept Trent in mind….

…_he was very, very good looking…_

"Okay, one more question," said Daria, " this time from a woman. No more dirty old men!"

By now, the audience would have done anything for Daria. "Felicia Harris, President of the Utah Boyce-Hodges Charitable Trust. How much do I plan to give to Quest Corporation tonight?"

Daria read the thought.

Her only word was "wow". Everyone applauded.

Dawn Hall took over the show. "Let's have a big hand for the Legionnaires, Quinn Morgendorffer, Jane Lane and Daria Morgendorffer! Remember, the Legionnaires may have powers but there's no power greater than helping another person. You can have a few brief words with the Legionnaires backstage…if you give enough! Good night!"

Jane smiled. She took Quinn by the right hand and Daria by the left. Without telling the two, she lifted the both of them a good sixteen inches off the stage. Quinn and Daria gasped as the crowd demanded more and the lights went out, closing the curtain.

The curtain closed. "Nice job, ladies. Very well done."

"I'm not doing that again!" said Daria. "That lawyer guy had a lot more on his mind than charity!"

"Gee, I thought that was a joke!" said Quinn.

"It wasn't. His mind is a place I don't want to be in."

"Like any guy's mind isn't," said Quinn, "you should just have made a joke about it. Tell him he's not-**tha**t big!

"You can tell him. I'm not doing anything else like this!" Daria felt dirty and ashamed.

"Well," said Dawn, "you don't have to. This is the first and hopefully last Legionnaires show. Now, some very wealthy, pasty people want to meet you. These are all seven-figure donors. So you'll smile, act charmed, and make small talk. Even you, Daria. It will all be over soon enough."

Daria frowned. Her only hope of getting through this without wanting to shoot someone for their ignorance was in thinking of Trent. _His jet black hair, his eyes…_

A small group of donors, not numbering more than seven, entered the backstage area. The three made small talk as the donors asked about their hobbies and interests. Or rather, Quinn made small talk and Jane and Daria nodded, letting Quinn chat up a storm.

"Mike Warwick," said one man. "I have a question for all of you."

The three turned to him.

"What are the three of you doing in the United States? Why aren't you in Iraq, with the American troops?"

Complete silence. Quinn's mouth dropped open. Jane had nothing to say, looking very uncomfortable.

Daria shot the man a look that would have killed if she possessed that ability, which she did not. She was still wiping the grime out of her skull with the lawyer; she didn't need a question like that on her mind. It had crossed her mind before.

"I mean…my son is over there, serving with the Marines as a captain, and I tell you, our soldiers can't get entertainment like this! That was incredible! You should do a USO tour!"

Daria frowned. _He wasn't being a jerk. I was being a jerk. Great._

Dawn Hall took control as the three girls relaxed. "I'm sure, Mr. Warwick, that the Legionnaires would want to go…but they're all minors, and young girls in a war zone…."

"No problem. I understand. A pity that you're not over eighteen. Our troops would enjoy seeing what I saw here tonight. Congratulations, and I hope your enterprise succeeds with flying colors."

Everyone muttered thanks. Dawn Hall and Quinn gladhanded the few remaining visitors. But Warwick's words left a heavy weight in Daria's stomach, one that Jane Lane would not be able to lift with magnetic trickery.

(la la LA la la)

Daria fought a running battle with sleep, one in which she seemed unable to get the other hand….

"_Ladies and Gentlemen!" said Dawn Hall, in the suit of a carnival barker, pointing her bamboo cane towards the colored tents, "I present to you the Legion!"_

"_At the tent on your left, you'll see our lovely mistress of the electrical arts, the talented Lightning Lass!"_

_Quinn entertained the yokels. She wore a blue and white two-toned uniform with an orange cape and bold yellow lightning bolts on the front of her white tunic. She smiled, and threw a few random shocks into the air._

"_In the tent on your right, our amazing Cosmic Girl!"_

_Jane wore a pink and black stylized jumpsuit. The four silver buttons on the front matched the four silver balls she manipulated in a faux-juggle for the amazement of the country bumpkins watching._

"_And…in the center tent…no one knows her mystery…but she knows all of your secrets…the incredible…astounding…SATURN GIRL!!"_

_It was Daria. Daria in a ridiculous red and white suit with pants and a red skirt that went down to her knees. She wore a chest insignia of a stylized planet with a ring on it._

_And she was blonde! And she wasn't wearing her glasses!! She vacantly smiled at the crowd._

_There was a voice trying to make its way to the crowd. "Help me….for God's sake, somebody help me!!"_

"_HELP MEE!!!!"_

_Russell Stark made his way up to the platform where Daria was standing. He looked wild-eyed, a man on the run, covered in sweat and dirt. _

_A hunted figure evoking only pity. Daria vacantly looked down at him, as if to say, 'who are you?'_

_Shots rang out. Daria could almost feel the bullets pass through Stark's chest. Stark shrieked in pain…Daria caught a look at the light in Stark's blue eyes fading out at the bloody figure slid into the sand._

_The calliope music came to a spot. Everyone, Quinn, Dawn, Jane, the crowd looked at Daria, as if to say, "what now?"_

_The blonde Daria looked into the crowd. She saw the present day Daria, staring up at her, having made her way up to the front._

_Daria looked down at the dead and bloody Russell Stark. Saturn Girl smiled at her lesser counterpart, the naïve Daria Morgendorffer._

"_Play the music," said Saturn Girl. "The show must go on!"_

(la la LA la la)

"Daria…DARIA!!!"

Quinn was shaking Daria awake. Jane, Trent, and a large number of the staff at the Utah mansion were in her bedroom.

"Uh…" Daria opened her eyes. She felt woozy.

"You were shouting something!" said Jane. "With your mind! It was all about carnivals and Russell Stark and Saturn!"

"We heard you all through the house," said Dr. Burchell. "Are you all right?" Burchell began examining the blood pressure monitor.

As Daria sat up in her nightgown, tended by her sister, her best friend, Trent, and a host of doctors, she knew what the dream meant. The Legion had ignored one detail. They had let it slip by, in their rush to make a life for themselves. Stark had even let it pass. But Daria knew that she was of a different opinion entirely.


	13. 2:5 Home

_And remember, if you join the Legion, you get this free collectible luggage as a free gift…_

Daria shoved her new clothes into a large black carry on. Things were still cool between herself and Helen, and Daria suspected they wouldn't be warming up any time soon. Helen and Daria had made an unwritten pact to avoid any mention of Daria's running away. It was easy to do, since the agreement of Dr. Burchell to follow up with Daria in Lawndale two or three times solved the medical problem that led to Daria's escape from Lawndale. Unfortunately, no agreement could resolve Daria's lack of trust of her mother.

And what was worse, Daria suspected that Helen didn't trust her, either.

Someone knocked at the door. It was the staccato rhythm that Jane used.

"Hey, amiga."

"Hey." Daria put her notebook in the large bag. "So, are you returning to slavery at Lawndale High School? Jane, there's no rule that says you have to go."

"Yeah," said Jane, "but I don't really care much for Utah. Or winter. Or snow. Or big empty mansions. Besides, with your powers I really can't wait to see what happens next."

"Or who it happens to."

"Say Daria," said Jane, "have your parents figured out what's going on here?"

"No. Not even after they watched the tape from last night. The evidence was right in front of them and Mom and Dad just discounted it. Dad spent an hour telling stories about his magic act at Buxton Ridge."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"No," said Daria, "because Quinn can't keep a secret. I'll just start a Utah cabin fund to replace the Montana fund."

"You know it was really nice here…learning how to fly and everything. The powers weren't too bad, if you knew what you were doing with them."

Daria sighed. "Say, Jane…what do you think happened to that other guy? You know the British guy? The one we had to let get away?"

"The what now?"

Daria closed her eyes and let them roll inside her eyelids. "You know, the three assholes on the plane flight. The one that shot at you, for example."

"Well," said Jane, "I figured the Feds got the shooter. Quinn might have fried the one guy and they sent him to the hospital. And the other guy got away because we were in a lot of trouble."

"You know," said Daria, "Russell Stark left here without any escort. Maybe we should have done something to help him."

"What are you thinking?" said Jane, arms crossed. She knew that Daria was having another of her 'moments'.

"Just this. All of our lives, all of this crap at school and at home we've had to take, we always had the best excuse in the world. Namely, that it was all out of our hands. The opinions of two outcasts from the pool of popularity and sports don't mean squat. We didn't really have power, and I'm not talking about mind reading or magnets. None of our opinions ever mattered for anything."

"And now, they do." Jane tried to guess where this was going.

"No…they don't. They still don't. But we do have power for the first time, and that forces people to listen to us, whether they want to or not. We have the cash, and we have these nuisance powers. Russell Stark got us out of a bad situation, and I'm starting to feel really guilty about it."

"Well, I don't think we can be his bodyguards," answered Jane, "he left us by ourselves for a reason."

"I just want to tie up loose ends," said Daria. "And as soon as we tie up that last loose end, this thing is over. I don't want to entertain anyone with this power, I don't want to be anyone's spokesman with it."

"But you're all about finding this assassin. So how do you plan that without your parents stopping you? 'Hey, Mom, I'm out to catch a killer, can you leave the key under the mat when I get back?'"

"We do this one thing, and I'm back to being a model student again."

"Until you wake up the neighborhood with one of your bad dreams." Jane continued.

Daria didn't have an answer for that. Jane was very worried that this mind-reading ability of Daria's was essentially uncontrollable. Sure, Daria was better at turning it on and off, but Daria wanted to avoid all of the moral conundrums caused by the power by hiding in a corner and claiming that they didn't exist.

"Dah-RIAAAAA!" shouted Quinn from somewhere outside the room. "Time to go!!"

(la la LA la la)

Daria, Jane and Quinn carried their large black bags outside. Helen and Jake and Dawn Hall waited as a limousine pulled up to the large circular drive.

"Dawn, how can we ever thank you for bringing our family back together?" said Helen, glad that the misadventure was finally over.

"No problem." The smallish Dawn Hall embraced the older woman. "You can really thank Russell Stark for that. I was just happy to take over in his stead."

"I'm going to miss Utah…the snow…the ski lodges…the really cute boys…." Quinn had built up an imaginary picture in her head, despite the fact that she hadn't even seen a flake's worth of snow since she arrived.

"There are 'cute boys' enough in Lawndale." Helen sighed. "I'm glad this is over."

"So…what happens to the Legion?" asked Daria.

"Well, one of the Quest executives will start work here in Utah. We'll buy property, put up a few buildings. And of course, as 'founders' of the Legion, you're welcome to come by at any time. However, everyone's aware that Lawndale is a long way away from Utah, so we understand that we'll be seeing each other infrequently."

"When homework and other obligations don't intrude," said Helen.

"Homework always intrudes…except, somehow, when Quinn is involved," said Daria. "And as for family obligations, there's always something that either you or Dad think up at the last minute, some dumb place that you want us to go on what free weekends we have."

"Daria," said Helen, "despite all that's happened – you're still our daughters. And we're still your parents. And you might be the heirs to a fortune, but you can't traipse back and forth from Lawndale to Utah whenever you want to. You and I both know that's quite impractical.

"I think Ms. Hall has it all under control for now. You're still an important part of Russell Stark's vision. I suggest that we go back to Lawndale. You can always call and decide to be involved in the Legion as much as you want or as little as you want! It's all up to you!"

Daria glared at Helen. "Except when the family trump card is pulled and it isn't up to us."

"What do you want, Daria? Your own private jet?" said Helen, holding her ground. "I'm not having you go to Utah whenever you want."

"Sweetie!" said Jake. "It's just that…if you're not in Lawndale, how are we going to know if you're safe or not?"

"That's right!!" Helen grabbed at the opportunity. "We care about you! And I think that all of us would feel better if you were closer to home!"

Jane and Trent watched the argument slowly start to build. Jane had already taken a few steps backward. Trent followed along.

"Janey," said Trent, "Dawn Hall doesn't look very happy."

Jane hadn't even noticed the impatient glare of Dawn Hall. "That is damn suspicious. I think that Dawn Hall and Helen Morgendorffer worked this plan out ahead of time. Keep us away from Utah. Keep Daria and Quinn at home, and keep all of us out of Quest's hair."

"So," said Trent, "why don't you say something?"

"Trent, Daria told me that the fights between her and her mother are the stuff of legends. If I get involved, what if Helen decides to get all parental and decides that I'm a 'bad influence'? Then it goes all nuclear."

"Which leads to another argument." Trent understood. "Too bad that Utah isn't closer to Lawndale. Else, there'd be no problem."

Jane watched Helen patiently explain her reasoning to a suspicious Daria. Quinn crossed her arms and tapped her feet as she waited for the force of parental obligation and common sense to drag Daria into the limo.

"Hey!"

Jane decided to speak up.

"Ms. Hall…why is the Legion doing its business in Utah?"

Hall smiled. "Well, you're here, we're here, this is where Mr. Stark thought of the Legion. The price of land is good, there are major airports and communication isn't a problem."

"So…why isn't the Legion closer to Lawndale?"

"Jane, Lawndale is a suburb at least an hour away from any major airport. Lawndale just isn't big enough for the Legion."

"Uh…no offense…but aren't _we_ the Legion?"

Dawn Hall didn't answer that. "The organization Stark envisioned was to be bigger than just three _girls_. It requires proper financing and proper supervision."

"'Girls'. 'Supervision'. I got ya." Jane had put the pieces of her own puzzle together. "The way I understood Stark, the three of us are the Legion. He made us his heirs, he gave us his money…and I think he hinted that you would try to run things."

Jane had made up her mind. "I want the Legion in Lawndale. The Legion will be in Lawndale. Move everything to Lawndale."

"You're joking!" Hall was aghast.

Jane smiled. It was time for Dawn Hall, for Helen Morgendorffer, for the rest of them to find out who was really running things.

(la la LA la la)

The limousine made its way to the airport.

"Daria," asked Quinn, "do you think that Jane will be coming along?"

"I don't know. She's probably still arguing with Dawn Hall." _Go, Jane!_

"I can't believe that Jane is so irresponsible!" said Helen, to no one in particular. "This is when we could have used Jane's parents!"

"If you could find them," said Daria. "If you find an atlas of countries, I would start with 'A'."

"Don't make jokes, Daria. Stark's will could still be contested."

"Exactly. But there's the risk that we stand to inherit nothing if you do that. And Dawn Hall won't do that because she has to answer to Russell Stark."

"Daria," said Helen, "even if the Legion somehow does make its way to Lawndale, what I said before goes. Homework, school, social obligations come first."

"And the Legion comes after that. I got it_." Just don't push too hard, Mom. Because next time, I won't have very far to run at all. _

(la la LA la la)

Daria answered the doorbell.

It was Jane Lane, dressed in her red jacket.

"So tell me about the blow-by-blow."

"Dawn Hall screamed, stamped her feet. Threw a cellphone at the ground. I thought I'd knuckle under, but I looked at Trent. Trent later told me that he thought Hall looked pretty pathetic throwing a fit. I got that impression and I just held my ground."

"So it's moving to Lawndale, then?"

"Yup. They're going to build Legion Tower at the site of the old quarry. We might not see much of Dawn Hall though. I think she's washed our hands of us."

"Don't bet on it." Daria and Jane sat down on the sofa. "Hey…Jane…I'm still thinking about that guy we let go."

"Well," said Jane, "I don't think we could arrest him…we don't have guns or anything…."

"Maybe so. But I want to know who tried to kill Russell Stark. When that happens, I can put everything to the side again."

"Okay. I have a question. Did Nancy Drew have a partner?"

"Well, she had George and Bess."

"Fine. I think I'll be 'Bess'. So, since this is your big idea, how do we go about it?"

"What we need is a passenger list. Then we go through the list and figure out who everyone is. The Brit stands out."

"And we knock on his door?"

"Or his head. And you do have a list of magic phone numbers."

"Yeah," said Jane, "there is that. Are you wanting to make some calls? You know, if you could get a list, we could just call the guy and ask him to turn himself in."

"Sounds good to me," said Daria. "I just want to throw a scare into this bastard. If you don't want to call someone, I will."

Jane pulled out a folded-too-many-times piece of paper. "Knock yourself out."

"Hmm. Let me keep this. If I put this list in your hands, it might end up as paper-mache."

"By the way, amiga, you do know that tomorrow is a school day?"

"Yeah," said Daria. "The fact crossed my mind."

"And your parents still don't know yet."

"No. I'm hoping that with the blood pressure monitor and my…uh…concentration techniques that I won't flip out too badly."

"Don't come without me. You might need someone to get you out of there fast."

"No problem. What I'm hoping for is a low-key arrival. We pass under the radar. No questions. No admirers. Nothing."

From above the stairs, Quinn listened in on the entire conversation. She was angry. Daria and Jane had already cut her out of their plans to get the "third gunman". She was as much a part of the Legion as anyone else, and every day, it seemed that Daria and Quinn wanted her to earn her place, and treated her with contempt most of the time.

As for the low-key arrival…well, Quinn wasn't going to break the news to Daria. Let her find out for herself. At least one of the three would be prepared.

(la la LA la la)

"So what's your excuse?" said Jane to Daria as they walked towards Lawndale High. "Mine is that I wanted to come to school, but I was kidnapped by Arab sheikhs."

"I think Dawn Hall already took care of that with Ms. Li. Remember the kickback?"

"Oh yeah. We roll into Lawndale High. Incognito. The perfect crime."

Daria and Jane heard what appeared to be martial music in the background. "Lawndale High School Marching Band practice?" said Jane.

The two turned the corner.

"WELCOME LEGION" bedecked the entrance of Lawndale High School.

Immediately, the high school band broke into the "Lawndale High School Fight Song" (the "Liberty Bell March" by Sousa) as Daria and Jane turned the corner. Applause broke out.

"Oh, hell!" said Daria.

"So much for 'the perfect crime'," said Jane. The two gingerly walked forward, bemoaning their fate.

Breaking from the crowd was Angela Li. "Ms. Morgendorffer! Ms. Lane! Let me be the first to say that speaking for the rest of Lllllawndale High, you have brought glory and honor to these hallowed halls with your selfless, charity work!"

Timothy O'Neill rushed forward to join her. "Jane! Daria! I can't believe that you could be so selfless, that you've finally blossomed from shrinking violets to full-fledged civic and community leaders! That you're ready to – dare I say it – stand up to the world and say, 'here I am, I, a young person, ready to contribute to the building of a new world of happiness and hope!'"

"Those _were_ the words I was looking for," muttered Jane.

PING!

"Think happy thoughts, Daria."

"What was that?" said Li.

"Oh nothing," said Jane, " It's just that the…uh...wrist cellphone Daria uses is ringing with another congratulatory call!"

"'Wrist cellphone?'" muttered Daria.

"Shut up. It was all I had."

"Hey Daria, Jane," said Jodie Landon, "glad to see you back. I just didn't think it would be like this!"

"Me neither," said Daria.

"Is there a way we can skip the speech?" said Jane.

"Well…there is a meeting with the student council in one hour. We're going to discuss how to spend the Legion's grant money. All five hundred dollars of it!"

"For the student council?" said Daria. "So how much did Li _really_ get as a contribution?"

Jodie pointed up. Daria and Jane watched a lone sentry at a guard tower ringed with barbed wire.

"Listen," said Jodie, "it's either student council or listening to Ms. Li's speech."

"Student council sounds great!" said Jane. "Just find Daria a quiet place to rest." Daria, meanwhile, seemed lost in her own imaginary world, thinking about someone nice.

(la la LA la la)

"So I then told Russell Stark, it's like, hey! I mean, why not us! Why shouldn't the fashionable, popular people have a say in things in the world? It's not we're like, void of ideas or something!"

"Quinn, that is just so great!" said Stacy. "You're a real inspiration!"

"That rocks!" said Jamie.

"Yeah!" said Joey and Jeffy.

"And I said, there should like be a whole group of people leading young people to make the right decisions, like, is there a place for pleated pants among today's youth? And it was at that moment that Russell Stark decided to found the Legion!"

Quinn's admirers applauded.

"I certainly hope that you gave credit," said Sandi Griffin, "to the Fashion Club. It would be, like, really wrong if a person sold out her friends to a creepy old man with money."

"Why, Sandi! The Legion's ideas are the ideas of the Fashion Club! When Mr. Stark heard about the Fashion Club, and about your leadership, Sandi – "

_letusout…..letusout….letusout…_

Sandi Griffin turned green. The voices in her head were calling to her again.

"I…gotta go!" Griffin raced to the nearest girls' bathroom. The others watched her go.

"Gee, what's wrong with Sandi?" whispered Quinn to Stacy.

"Sandi's been sick almost since you left. And Tiffany doesn't look that great, either."

The two looked at Tiffany. Tiffany's makeup was caked on so thick it might has well have been a death mask.

(la la LA la la)

_we're sick…we're sick…we're sick _

Sandi bolted into the girls' bathroom. It was empty. Everyone was listening to that stupid speech. Perfect!

Quite unfashionably, Sandi grabbed the commode and hurled up her breakfast, coughing and hacking all the way. Her bare midriff shirt had rolled almost up to the bottom of her bra, but she wouldn't have cared. Anything to stop the nausea, and the echo that was now going off in her head.

If someone had walked in behind Sandi, they would have seen something beyond the obvious, beyond some teenage girl throwing up.

The vertebrae of Sandi's thin back temporarily disappeared. They were replaced with a face bulging from Sandi's back, as if trapped under her skin. It tried in vain, to speak, almost caught in a grimace of agony and pain. The face subsided and finally disappeared, and Sandi rested her face against the commode lid, glad the puking and the voices in her head were gone once again.


	14. 2:6 All Three Together

As Daria left Lawndale High School, it started to rain. She waited for Jane to get out of her last class, and watched the downpour. _Figures._ Daria and Jane had hoped to watch the construction of Legion Tower at the quarry, but at the rate the rain was falling, they'd need a boat to get there.

Jane showed up, finally. "Damn test."

"But we finally got through the day."

"Without me punching Mr. O'Neill", said Jane, annoyed. "Once he went on about us being 'shining lights to wayward youth' I wanted to crawl under my seat."

"Or Ms. Morris telling me that my not wanting to run was setting a bad example for teens everywhere." Daria remembered acutely Ms. Morris shouting at her, exhorting Daria to complete that dumb one mile run Morris had insanely decided was "setting a new standard" of physical fitness for youth. Daria could only remember Brittany glaring daggers at her the entire run.

"So Quinn is more popular than ever, the teachers are on our backs ten times worst than usual, and the popular people _really_ hate us now," said Jane. "I can't take much more of being a leader of youth."

"Then you're not going to like what I'm going to ask you," said Daria.

(la la LA la la)

Jane sat down on the couch in Daria's living room.

"Actually, that part was easy", said Jane. "I dialed the number Stark gave me. Three different times. The head of the computer whatzits decided it was a prank call. The third time he answered. I suspect he didn't want to be bothered, but he did hook me up with a name last night."

"Who?"

"'TM'. Some sort of hacker. He hacked in to the airline passenger lists and gave me a hard copy, complete with seat assignments." Jane opened her backpack, pulling out a folded over piece of paper. "Get a load of this."

Daria read the list. "Hmm. I think there are some names missing. Yours, mine, and Quinn's."

"You got it. I wondered how come we didn't make Sick Sad World? 'Powered Youth Save Plane'. Or why there was nothing about it on TV."

"Probably our friends in the United States Government. If Stark could call the FBI, they probably removed our names from the passenger list."

"Uh huh," said Jane. "But I think they removed the names of the bad guys, too."

"This isn't going to make much sense without seeing where everyone is. I can't put it together without a picture."

"I could do that," said Jane. "Make a poster. We'll just recreate the plane and figure out who's missing – if we can. I'll have Hacker Boy work on it. It will give us something to do besides homework."

"Which reminds me," said Daria. "You'll have to spend tomorrow evening alone."

"Boyfriend? Kevin finally complete that pass?"

"You wish. Mom is going to take me out driving."

"Working on that license?"

"Uh huh."

Daria and Jane turned as they heard the front door opening. It was Quinn, bounding in the door. "Hey!"

"Hey," said Daria, languidly.

"So…what's up?"

"Oh, nothing," said Jane, "just trying to figure out…should we join the Fashion Club or the Cheerleaders?"

"Or the student council?" said Daria. "I might even change my wardrobe so I can be cute and popular, too."

"You guys have been spending a lot of time together," said Quinn. "Don't cut me out if this has to do with the Legion."

"Maybe you should just let Daria and me work on this," said Jane. "It's a bit over your head."

"Like everything else in the world. If we have a need to fry some bacon, we'll call you."

"Fine!" Quinn stormed up the stairs.

"Peace and quiet," said Daria. "Thanks for handling that."

"No problem. We're on top of it. I'll work on the diagram, and we'll work on it when Red isn't around. Just don't kill anything when you're driving this weekend."

(la la LA la la)

Sandi struggled with sleep. This night was her worst night yet. Even Linda was starting to worry about her errant daughter.

Linda put another cold compress on Sandi's forehead. "Alexandra, this is it. We're going to the emergency room right now."

"No…don't…wanna…." Sandi muttered to herself, gritting her teeth and trying to hold back the pain.

"We-are-going! Tom, get the car started. I'll get Sandi down the stairs." Tom Griffin, watching from behind the door, disappeared.

"Ggg—gggh—AAAAA!!!!"

Sandi's midriff bulged a good twelve inches, as if her stomach had inflated to bursting point.

"Oh my God!! Call 911!!" shouted Linda. Linda watched in fascination as Sandi's abdomen bulged and popped as if some demonic presense was living inside it trying to escape.

_WWWE WANT OUT NOW!!! _

"Voice—can't get out---"

Sandi screamed! It was a scream loud enough to shake the windows. Somewhere in the house, Sam and Chris Griffin stirred from their slumbers.

Linda threw the covers off the bed. The outline of a full-grown hand bulged from Sandi's rubbery stomach. The hand inside Sandi's body began to glow, almost lighting up the room. Sandi began to shudder and spasm. Linda futilely screamed for help, not knowing what else to do.

As Sam and Chris showed up to watch, they were stopped cold by the sight they were seeing. A glowing human arm, trapped inside their sister's body. Linda, now in terror, stood back from the bed, not knowing what would happen next but powerless to prevent it.

The abdomen stretched enough for fine veins to be seen at the fingertips of the intruding entity. Whether they were Sandi's veins, or the veins of the glowing fingers were yet to be seen.

Something had to give.

And it did.

An immediate explosion of air being displaced blew a breeze of dead, stale air past the three watching.

When they opened their eyes, looking to see and hoping that Sandi wasn't dead or hadn't transformed into something grotesque, they saw Sandi, moaning, lying peacefully on the bed.

The arm had disappeared.

"Sandi!" said Linda. "Are you all right? We'll get the best doctor here right – "

A moan could be heard from the blind side of the bed. Pulling herself up from the floor was Sandi Griffin. She stood up, cleared her eyes and scratched at her abdomen.

Sandi 2 took a look at Sandi 1 on the bed. The looks in both their eyes were priceless.

"How…did you come out of me?" asked Sandi 1, weakly.

"Uh…where did I get these clothes?" asked Sandi 2. Sandi 2 was dressed exactly like her counterpart.

"Hold on…it's happening again!" said Sandi 1.

"Don't force it back! Let it happen!" said Sandi 2. Sandi 2 grabbed her counterpart's hand to provide moral support.

Sandi – or, Sandi 1 – let the power go. Emerging from her body, a ghostly form materialized into Sandi 3.

"That – was a lot easier!" said Sandi 3. "Don't – do – that – again! There's not a lot of room in there!"

"Good to see you," said Sandi 2.

"Who are you?" said Sandi 1.

"We're you!" answered Sandi 2 and 3, in concert.

The two helped Sandi 1 to their feet.

The three Sandis looked to the doorway. Sam and Chris had the dumbest look on their face. They were supporting their mother, Linda, now sitting on the floor. Her mother and her brothers shared the same zombified look. Linda only hoped that there weren't any more Sandis in there.

(la la LA la la)

It was another horrible night for Tiffany.

She dreamed that for some reason, she was in a blender. Some kind of vanilla ice cream shake was being made, and it had Tiffany as a part of it. She tried to get out of the blender, but it just wasn't working.

She had had a lot of dreams like that, recently.

Tiffany pulled herself up. It was time to walk to the bathroom and –

--nothing. Tiffany was lying on the living room floor.

Standing up, Tiffany tried in vain to recall what had happened the night before. She hadn't been sleeping particularly well. It was sleep fitfully, get up, apply makeup, sleep fitfully, repeat.

Tiffany knew that she didn't sleepwalk. Of course, no one would have noticed her sleeping on the living room floor. Dad was never home, and her mother would never have cared enough to check on her.

So how did she get here? Walking down the stairs in her sleep would have been hard with no lights on. Tiffany looked up, not realizing that the roof of the living room was also the floor of her bedroom.

(la la LA la la)

Daria and Helen drove down the street in Helen's SUV. It was a tentative go of it. Daria didn't feel as if she could control such a large vehicle. Helen, however, had insisted. Helen felt that if Daria could control a large SUV, then Daria would be able to drive any car she set her mind to drive.

Helen gave running commentary. "All right, Daria, don't start your turn till your front wheels are past the corner. That's it. Now, accelerate as you start to straighten... good…."

Helen saw a dog wander from her side view. It was rushing out to meet the SUV, as if the SUV was a large, friendly dog.

"Watch out for the dog. Watch out, Daria!" shouted Helen.

Daria hit the brakes. Her lead foot brought the large vehicle to a sudden stop, throwing Daria and Helen into their shoulder belts which caught them.

…_A dog! Crap!_

** -- GET OUT OF HERE!! – **

It was a reflexive mental shout. Daria didn't even think about what she was doing.

"Oh my God!" cried Daria. "Oh, my God, did I kill him? I never even saw him! I'm a dog killer!"

Daria watched the dog bounding down the street at full tilt. Apparently, some force had gotten into the dog to flee the area as if it were on fire.

Daria sighed. "God, that was close." She turned over to get Helen's reaction.

There was no reaction. There was a disconnected shoulder belt, and an open passenger door. From her rear view mirror, she saw her mother disappear over the hill, as if being chased by a horde of invading Monguls.

(la la LA la la)

"So how did you explain that one?" said Jane. Jane was in her "legion suit", the red scrubs with the circle-L over the left breast.

"I have no idea," said Daria, in her similar blue suit, now fitted to size. "Mom thought it must have been the stress of work…she said she had an 'uncontrollable urge' to get out of the SUV. She was very apologetic."

"You made it back home?" said Quinn. The make-up man was applying the final touches. Quinn looked pretty in pink.

"Yeah. Stop and go. Stop and go. Stop and go. With no license, and no licensed driver in the vehicle, driving Thunder Tank back home." Daria sighed. "I hate driving. And the dog really caught me by surprise."

"Well, Dah-ria," said Quinn, "I know that you can't see anything at your side!"

"Let's not bring up contacts again," said Daria. She knew that both Helen and Quinn had suggested contacts for Daria for completely different reasons; Daria absolutely refused.

"All right, ladies," said the director. "We're going to film the commercial. Are you ready?"

"Ready!" said Quinn.

"And this time, Daria," sighed the director, "try to read your lines with a little more life this time, hm?"

(la la LA la la)

"_You can make a difference in your community!" said Jane_

"_You can earn up to $15,000 for college!" said Quinn._

"_But there are greater rewards than just money," muttered Daria. "Just remember – "_

_The three stood together, in their Legion scrubs, hands linked, saying, in unison:_

"_If you don't choose the future you want, you don't get the future you want!" _

_The www dot legionnaires dot com website filled the screen, along with an 800 number. _

"I don't even see why you want to be a part of this, Sandi," said Linda. "They'll just use you and work you to death."

"But m-oh-m! Quinn's in the Legion and now she's the most popular girl in school! I've got to get in the Legion if I'm going to keep my popularity!"

"It's a funny world," said Linda, "when I was in school, we considered service organizations, well…'geeky'. Future Farmers of America, and those ugly blue jackets! The Girl Scouts!" Linda shuddered. "Sandi, are you sure it's not _you_ that people aren't liking?"

"Puh-leeze? Quinn over me? You jest!" said Sandi, secretly worrying that Quinn was now so far ahead of her that she'd never catch up.

"I'm sure they'll let you join," sniffed Linda, "at the _bottom_. Face it, if you don't get camera time like those Morgendorffer girls, you might as well be off the map!" Linda grimaced, thinking of the end of her broadcasting career.

Linda continued. "Now with your powers…you could be something. Entertain on television." Linda was already drawing up plans.

"Mo-ommm!!" It was Sam and Chris shouting from the living room.

Linda stormed in to break it up. Sandi smiled, knowing what was happening.

"Okay, Sandis, back together! Now!" Two separate Sandi Griffins had their younger brothers on the floor. Each Sandi pushed a Griffin boy's face into the carpet while each gave an Indian burn with their free hands.

Both Sandis looked up. Funtime was over. The Sandis released their younger siblings and walked towards their identical counterpart…and walked right into her, as apparitions. The three Sandis had suddenly and inexplicably become one.

The now singleton Sandi smiled a triumphant grin.

The two boys looked to Linda for comfort. Linda gave them a contemptuous look. "How come _you two_ can't do anything useful?"

(la la LA la la)

The doorbell to the Lane household rang.

And rang. And rang. And rang. Forty times, it rang.

Trent answered the door, wearing only his boxer shorts.

"Eap!" It was Quinn.

"Uh…who…."

"Uh…I'm Quinn Morgendorffer!!" Quinn blushed.

"Oh…right…clothes. I really need to get clothes on." Trent knew he needed clothes, and coffee, and a lot of other things. His mind tentatively grasped at the idea of clothes. "Uh…what do you want?"

"Were you asleep?" asked Quinn.

"Uh…." His fogged mind didn't have a snappy comeback. "Yeah. I was."

"Okay, it's like this," said Quinn, storming ahead. "I lost my script to the next Legion commercial! Can I talk to Jane and get a copy?"

"Uh…Janey's out with Daria right now."

"Oh!" Quinn feigned surprise, Trent not telling her anything she didn't know. "Well, can I just, uh…take a brief look around? I won't be long!"

"Sure." It would get rid of the sound of a doorbell ringing over and over and over again out of his head.

(la la LA la la)

Quinn entered Jane's room. It was still the same mess that it was the last time she saw it. Clothes all over the place, unfinished art projects, ugly posters. No wonder Daria and Jane were friends. They thought alike.

Quinn figured she had five minutes to look around. Then again, Trent was so sleepy she might spend the entire day up here.

She saw what she was looking for immediately.

On Jane's canvas, a seating chart for a plane had been painted. The outline was very good and Quinn found her location immediately, seated behind Jane and Daria. The seats were in three colors…white, for empty, blue, for assigned, and red with a question mark for assigned, but name not known.

Quinn grasped the scheme immediately. It appeared that there were only four people on board who were not identified. Everyone else had a name.

Quinn didn't know how much she would have a chance to write down_. They might not want my help, but they're going to get it!_ She hoped Jane had a paper and pencil somewhere, else she would have to write on her tiny note pad from her purse.

Suddenly, Quinn sighted it.

A blue cellphone. Stark's cellphone. And underneath it, a piece of paper.

Unfolding the paper, Quinn saw a list of numbers. It was what Stark had given Jane. _And Jane was just letting it lie around her bedroom! It would get lost in the mess!_ Quinn had half a mind to steal it and teach Jane and Daria a lesson.

Writing down over sixty names on a diagram wouldn't be possible. Writing down a few telephone numbers, on the other hand, would be easy. And if there was anything Quinn enjoyed doing, it was talking on the phone….


	15. 2:7 Best Feets Forward

Quinn sat in her bedroom. She was glad not to be in Utah anymore. Here, she was surrounded by her stuffed animals sent by her admirers, in the four poster bed she had had since she was 13, in familiar and comfortable surroundings.

"…great! And he ordered…bourbon!! That is just, like, soooo cool! 'Cause I've been trying to find my Dad for years! I'm sorry to have bothered you! It's just that…well…(choke)…I never really knew him that well!...I'll let you know! Thanks! Bye-eee!!"

Quinn smiled. _Perfect!_ She thought that this was the one!

Immediately the phone rang again. "Hello-oo?"

"Quinn? It's Sandi!" 

"Sand-ee!! Hi-iiii!!"

"Gee, Quinn, you must be having a lot of calls! I've been trying to call you for over two hours now!!" 

Quinn could hear the fretting in Sandi's voice, as if somehow Sandi was desperate to speak to her.

"Uh…sorry! Just…uh…it was Brad! Brad was trying to date me again!!"

"Loser!" The two chuckled.

"Quinn! (sound of throat clearing) After much consideration…I have decided that the Legion is indeed a worthy organization. However, as President of the Fashion Club, I had to consider the situation carefully before I could speak authoritatively. Therefore…I have tentatively decided to make the Legion a Fashion Club priority!" 

Quinn couldn't quite decipher what Sandi was saying. "Uh…go on…."

Silence on the other end of the phone. "Right! Well…as President of the Fashion Club, it would be hard for me to decide if the by-laws against Fashion Club members belonging to service organizations – or vice versa – could be waived unless I was on-site there to oversee matters personally…." 

"You mean…you want…to…uh…join the Legion?"

More silence. "Well…I would have to consider the matter carefully. However, since your two fellow Legion members are unschooled in matters of fashion and good appearance, I don't know if the Vice-President should be the one left in charge…!" 

"Will you join…?!" Quinn was getting excited! Daria and Jane had gotten on her last nerve. She needed a friend in the Legion, any friend, and desperately!

"I'll see…! So…when shall I come to observe!" 

"Tomorrow! We'll cut school at 11 o'clock! There's some business I have to do, and…I need your help! We need your Mom's car though, or any car if you can get it!" Quinn had an idea, but she would need Sandi to provide some help. "It's reall-ly going to be boring, I'm sorry it can't be exciting…!"

"No problem. Anything to get out of Ms. Barch's study hall! I'll get a car. I'll park two blocks away from the school!" 

"You're the best!"

"I try! Bye!" 

((-----))

"So," said Linda Griffin looking over Sandi's shoulder. "How did it go?"

Sandi put the phone back in the crade. "I…am…**in**!"

Linda embraced Sandi. "Beautiful! Beautiful, Sandi! When the camera gets a look at you, you're going to blow the others out of the room!"

Sandi was glad to be permitted in her mother's study. Linda was already compiling a file with notes in it.

"Now…about Quinn…I suggest that you tell Quinn about your powers!"

_Finally!_ Sandi had wanted to tell Quinn since day one, but Linda forbade it. Sam and Chris had been threatened with near death. "Uh…why now?"

"There's always…an intimidation factor. The threat that you could use your powers in public and get all of the attention from Quinn and the other girls! Quinn will defer to you, naturally! She'd be too scared not to, which is the way it should be! The way you tell it, Sandi, Quinn's always been threatened by your status. Then, you bring me in as an advisor and we begin building your career as a celebrity-cum-spokesperson up from ground level and the money…just…ro-ollllls in!!"

"So when do I tell her?"

"Tomorrow. At the earliest!"

(la la LA la la)

"So…where are we going?" Sandi was driving her mother's yellow Mitsubishi convertible down the freeway.

"We're going to the airport! I guess we'll be giving it until about three o'clock. I tell you, it's going to be like really dull!"

"No problem. Better than school. So, anyway, my first concept," said Sandi, "is to get rid of those dumpy uniforms you're wearing!"

"Tell me about it," said Quinn. "Jane picked them out…!" The two girls chattered away, Quinn almost ecstatic about the possibilities the next few days had to offer.

(la la LA la la)

Jane and Daria looked at the canvas. The question marks were still there. Work from 'TM' had yielded absolutely nothing.

"I thought this hacker guy was supposed to be good," said Daria.

"Well, I guess he's not good enough. The information has been wiped clean. We're out of the system completely. And if we're out of the system…."

"—then the bad guys are out of the system, too. Dammit. I really wanted this to happen."

"I guess it would have been nice to do Stark a favor," said Jane. "You know…he might call us again, someday."

"Doubtful. I think I'd give up that call, Jane, if I could have just one name…."

The door outside opened. It was a triumphant Quinn.

"You mean," said Quinn, "a name like Alan Bellard?"

"How the hell did you get up here?" said Daria.

"Trent let me in. I told him I left my purse up here."

"And he believed it?" said Jane. Quinn nodded.

"Who the hell is Alan Bellard?" said Daria.

"He's the guy you two have been looking for."

"Okay, Quinn," said Daria, "we have some of the best technicians at Wizard, and they can't recover the missing passenger list data. How can someone who thinks that Marie Antoinette invented French bread do what Ph. Ds can't?"

"Well, duh-h!" said Quinn. "First, people have telephone numbers. So I called all the passengers who were sitting next to the empty seats. I told them some story about trying to find my deadbeat Dad! And they gave me descriptions about who they were setting next to on the airplane!"

Quinn continued, walking confidently to Jane's canvas. "This person – " Quinn pointed to a question mark – "is the guy who shot at Jane. This person, here, is the person Jane took the gun from! This person, here, is the flight security guy! And that leaves this person over here -- !"

" – the Brit. Okay," said Daria, "a blind pig finds a truffle. So how does that give you a name?"

"The person setting next to Mr. Bellard is Sandy Tattersall!" She pointed to the appropriately labeled seat. "I called Sandy Tattersall! It turns out that she had been through a divorce where the guy got all her money, and she was looking for somebody else. We talked fashion tips for a while, and she noticed his shoes, that he was blond haired, blue eyed, not married 'cause he didn't wear a ring, and went by the name of 'Alan'. Not 'Al', 'Alan'! She said he had a nice jacket and a red tie! Women notice these things! His shoes were in great condition, all polished, he had a good manicure, which makes me think he's really neat. She noticed he ordered bourbon from the little cart on the plane!

"So, when the stewardesses got everyone off the plane, he got away, too! But I know there either had to be a security camera there or someone watching! So Sandi thinks that he might have bought a paper or something – "

"—hold on, Missy," said Jane. "Sandi? As in 'Sandi Griffin'? What exactly have you been telling her?"

Quinn smiled. "More later! So the fou—I mean, Sandi started asking around at the Lawndale airport if they saw anyone with that description. And we figured out that someone looking like really nice bought a newspaper at the news kiosk!

"We knew the name was 'Alan', and then I called Quest Computer Security – "

" – with what? Jane's phone?" said Daria.

"Duh! No! My phone! I swiped your list of phone numbers. I told them I was Jane Lane!" Quinn imitated a half-breathy, half-nasal voice. "Jane Lane here! Listen, mister, I need to find out who bought anything on Ja—".

"Right," said Daria. "Every single 'Alan' who bought something. Quinn, do you know how many people named 'Alan' could have bought something? Do you even know how many 'Alan's there are in Lawndale?"

"No," growled Quinn, "but I know that the number of 'Alans' who bought anything before our **very early **flight totals a big '**one**'. Alan Bellard. He bought breath mints and a New York Times!"

"British nationality, Quinn?"

"Do you want his passport number? I have that, too!"

Daria and Jane looked at each other, half-amazed.

"I mean…**duh**!" Quinn knocked on her head to make her point. "It's like, you can have all the computers in the world but if you like don't talk to people, it doesn't make any difference! I could learn more about a person just by looking at them than you could in a day! You two wouldn't even bother to pick up a phone!!"

Jane sighed. "Okay. Against my better judgment…you're in."

"Hey, wait -- !"

"Daria, not only did Quinn solve this thing already, she already knows everything. And we can use her powers if anything bad crops up."

"I'm looking forward to it already," said Daria sarcastically.

"And if we get this guy…could..uh…Sandi join the Legion?"

"You're out of your tiny little hairspray-addled mind," said Daria. "First, I wouldn't want Sandi Griffin within a hundred yards of any of us. Second, this is not going to pan out. Third, you don't even know where this guy is!"

"I'll tell you where he is, if you give Sandi a shot."

"There is nothing that Sandi Griffin could contribute," said Daria.

"Wanna bet?"

(la la LA la la)

"So here we are," said Jane, "sneaking out of town again, one more time."

"The house is in Philadelphia," said Daria. "That definitely means a plane flight. Private jet. We take off, I call Mom on the cellphone, we have a 'girls' night out' at your place, supposedly leave for school from Jane's tomorrow. Meanwhile, we land in Philadelphia, take a taxi, see if this guy is the guy, and we're all home by private jet in the AM. I figure that we'll have a total …one hour of sleep. Total."

"I have my overnight bag!" Quinn dumped out a ton of makeup. "I'll have to look really good for school tomorrow…and definitely if I don't get a change of clothes!"

"Well," said Jane, "there's always Starbucks. That will keep me awake."

"Fantastic. And how am I going to deal with Mr. O'Neill's riveting lectures?"

"That's your problem," said Jane, "_you_ were the one that said we should sit in front."

"It's a good thing you brought me along!" said Quinn. "I mean, what if this British guy gets violent?"

"I think we could take care of ourselves," said Jane.

Daria frowned. It would be Jane taking care of her, most likely. "And how come you just don't fly us to Philadelphia yourself?"

"I said I could fly, Daria! I just didn't say how far!"

"And how far can you fly?"

"You know that time I levitated all three of us two feet?"

"Uh huh."

"That's my best flight."

"Dammit!"

"Well, purple Jesus, Daria, I can _theoretically_ fly! Mr. Terra said that I could fly off earth's magnetic field. Or something involving a gigantic lead sphere. I really wasn't listening that carefully!"

"So if, say, the plane were attacked by missiles?"

"Then I hope you don't hit the ground first, or I'll have to hear your death scream of agony in my mind. Relax, Daria. This isn't going to turn out to be anything bad. Either he won't be there, in which case we can look around, or he is there, and you'll read his mind, and you'll know the answer one way or the other. Then you can call the FBI on him or something and we can go back home."

"Wonderful. Your leadership is filling me with confidence."

Quinn interrupted. "So if the guy **is** there, you'll give Sandi a try-out?"

"Maybe. And that's a big 'if'. We'll see." Jane really hoped he wasn't there.

(la la LA la la)

The taxi cab slowly pulled through the Chestnut Hill area of Philadelphia.

"Oh my **gawd**!" said Quinn. "Look at all the shops! We—have—got to come back here and shop! Wait, stop! There's a Fashion Forward Boutique! It's a **sale**!"

"Quinn, it's after midnight. There's not a thing open," said Jane, "give it a rest."

"Why are we wearing these?" said Daria, pointing to the Legion scrubs that the three were wearing.

"Well…if we get dirty, Quinn has our traveling clothes safe in a bag."

"Right. And if the police get suspicious, they'll know to look for three girls wearing clown suits. And in Quinn's case, clown makeup."

"Makeup couldn't rescue that face," said Quinn, "you need a paper bag!"

"Quiet!" Jane had had enough of their interminable arguing.

The taxi cab driver pulled up to a well-lit, expensive looking house. "Forty-two fifty."

Jane shoved fifty dollars into the man's hand. "How long will this keep the cab running for a return trip?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"Good. Pull up around the corner."

(la la LA la la)

"You know, Jane," said Daria, "I think we should have figured this out ahead of time. What we're going to do if this guy's not awake? Do we ring the doorbell and leave some flaming dog doo on his front step?"

"You can read his mind."

"I've never tried to read a sleeping person's mind before. And if he's awake, and doesn't let us in, I only get a chance to read what's on his mind immediately. Which will either be confusion, or something completely unpredictable."

"Got it. Be prepared for anything."

Daria began to focus her thoughts on the inside of the house. It was the first time she ever tried to read someone's mind that she couldn't see.

…**playing field…rained out...bow………………….Trescothick…………**

"What is it?" said Quinn.

"Awake. And the voice inside my head," said Daria. "Definitely British. Don't know if it's the right guy though."

"So now we find out," said Jane. "Who's knocking on his door?"

The two Morgendoffer sisters looked at each other, then Jane. "We go together," said Daria. "He can't dry gulch us all at once!"

The three girls tentatively stepped forward. Quinn put the bag containing their clothes next to the front porch steps, then joined the other two.

Quinn and Jane looked at Daria. Daria closed her eyes and rang the bell.

…**bloody hell who the fuck could this be at this hour of the night**…

"He doesn't expect us!" said Daria. "Be cool!"

A man in an expensive robe answered the door. He was blond and had blue eyes. "Yes?"

"Mr. Bellard?" asked Daria.

…**OH SWEET BLOODY HELL FUCK ACT MAN ACT!!! **

(la la LA la la)

The taxi cab driver waited. Three pretty girls in costumes coming to Chestnut Hill. They must be call girls, or something. Some rich perv in Chestnut Hill. It took all kinds. He had seen it all.

He looked in the rear view mirror.

He heard gunshots, and someone screaming. It sounded like one of the girls.

There were a lot of things he could do. He could pull out the gun he kept hidden in the front seat. He could call the dispatcher and have the company call the police.

Instead, he drove off. Seven dollars and fifty cents wasn't worth dying for. And for someone to be firing gunshots in Chestnut Hill, they had to be very pissed off indeed. Let the girls fend for themselves…!


	16. 2:8 Fight or Flight

Daria, Jane, and Quinn faced Alan Bellard down at his Chestnut Hill house. To an outside observer, it would have been an unequal confrontation. Three girls in scrubs against a grown man, secure in the advantage of property and class behind him.

Alan Bellard was no fool. He knew exactly what he was facing. He pulled out the .38 from his robe pocket, quickly aimed it at Jane….

…and _fired_.

The force of the shot knocked Jane three feet backwards, onto her back.

Quinn screamed, a loud shriek like the shriek of a wounded cat. Daria stood by helplessly, unthinking as Bellard disappeared inside his home.

Almost scared to look, Daria looked down at the fallen form of Jane. Quinn covered her mouth so that no sound of pain could escape her mouth and shake her young form to the core.

The two watched Jane on the porch lying supine. Jane's hands were palm up, as if someone had said "stick 'em up", and her eyes were wide open in terror, tears pooling in the lower lids. Suspended two inches from her body, held back by magnetic force was the hot, smoking slug from Bellard's revolver.

Jane swallowed hard. Her lips quivered in fury. "GET—THE—BASTARD!!!"

(la la LA la la)

The door was one and three quarters inches of solid oak. It had a good chance of stopping most low caliber bullets, and had no chance at stopping Quinn Morgendorffer.

Before Daria could caution her sister, Quinn dived into the fray, full of confidence and eager to test her power. A powerful lightning bolt from Quinn turned the oak door into cinders and its eerie blue incandescence lit up the porch.

Quinn looked inside the living room, her eyes darting quickly. Left, right, center. Strands of hair began to stand up on their own as arcs of force darted quickly from hand to hand, somehow touching but not quite touching her scrubs and leaving her clothing intact.

What to do? Go up the stairs? Follow the guy? Where was he? Should she blast something?

** -- QUINN! HE HAS YOU IN HIS SIGHTS! -- **

**_ --DIVE!! -- _**

Quinn comprehended the first part of the message –it was not the first time Daria had spoken to her telepathically. The second part of the message, however, did an end run around Quinn's conscious and went straight to Quinn's pre-conscious, to her hindbrain.

Normally, Quinn would have demurred if someone asked her to throw herself on a parquet floor.

It wasn't that Quinn would have obeyed against her will. Will didn't seem to be a part of it at all.

She dived, as if she were a four year old jumping into a pool. Her body glowed with electricity, a light so bright that it beamed through the large living room windows and searchlit the street.

She didn't see Bellard with the weapon he had. A grenade launcher. He fired it right in the direction that Quinn would have been.

The explosive force of the shot broke one of the windows. Daria ducked as glass blew out of the window frame, followed by a heavy cloud of black smoke. It seemed as if the house was now on fire.

Quinn was…gone. Jane seemed mentally paralyzed into inaction.

Daria took her finger, and in the way one would flick a pebble with thumb and middle finger, Daria flicked the bullet out of Jane's way. The bullet had spent its kinetic force; Jane seemed paralyed more by possibility and her close call than anything else.

Daria pulled Jane to her feet. "Quinn!!" said Daria, trying to tell Jane what happened. "Quinn's---!!" She couldn't complete her thoughts which came rushing like a cold winter wind.

Jane panted out her words. "Where—is—he--?"

Daria concentrated. "Upstairs! He's going upstairs!"

"I'll take care of him! Go into the living room! See what happened!!"

(la la LA la la)

Daria gingerly stepped through the splintered door. She first thought of desperately waving the plumes of smoke away. Somehow, in the moment of crisis, her natural personality came back and she began to think more clearly.

_As long as there's smoke, it makes it harder to be hit! _

Daria stepped forward, and then stopped, hearing the creaky floor. _What happened?_ Daria had to know if Quinn was all right!

Disregarding her safety, Daria swept the smoke our of her face to see more clearly. There were no more lights on in the living room, and the only illumination came from fingers of reflected light from the streetlights.

Bellard's living room now had a massive hole in the floor. A couch had not quite fallen through the floor, and now rested in the crater, an odd monument. Most of the couch was now either in the basement or the crawlspace of the house, the arm of the couch breaking through to the surface at an odd angle, stuck like a spoon in a bowl of pudding.

** -- Quinn! QUINN!! -- **

**::- ( beebledeebledeeble) …. oooo…. -:: **

It was Quinn!! Quinn's thoughts seemed scattered…but Daria told herself that that was how Quinn's brain normally worked. She was ALIVE!! She wasn't on the floor anymore, but she was…somewhere! Probably under the house, somewhere, but alive!!

She could now help Jane. She just had to find Jane, first!

(la la LA la la)

Bellard ran into the large upstairs den with its huge bay windows. He had no chance to call anyone and this was going all fuck-all very quickly. Dynell would expect Bellard to know how to defend himself without any help.

The explosive launcher Bellard held was a very expensive weapon. It could actually fire around corners, with a flip-up television camera so that the shooter could see what was around the corner he was using as cover. Unfortunately, the launcher wouldn't be of much use in a straight-up fight against three supers.

Somewhere, in the distance, the alarm of one of the SUVs went off. Someone trying to break in to a car? During all this row?

_Fine_, he thought. _If they want to escape, let them_. He didn't feel all that secure, trapped in the house like a rat in a cage.

A bright set of headlights blinked back and forth, trying to alarm the concerned, wealthy, upright citizens of Chestnut Hill that someone was trying to get away with private property, earned by honest sweat and toil. Bellard wished that the fucking alarm would go off. The blinking lights could be easily seen at eye level. He was tempted to shoot the damn thing and shut it up permanently.

_Eye level?_ He was on the second floor.

And the car headed straight for him. Faintly, he heard a voice outside.

"_Shoot at THIS, ASSHOLE!!"_

Bellard ran in the other direction as the bay windows of the den shattered as a red 2004 Mitsubishi Outlander SUV was hurled into Bellard's den and desposited jack dab into the second floor of the house its lights flashing in alarm, its horn beeping frantically, trying to warn others of its theft from the parked position. The force of the impact shattered Bellard's desk and computer system, knocked a beanbag chair to the side, and came close to hitting his upstairs stereo. The massive vehicle skidded forward, crushing a couch, and came to a screeching halt outside the den door.

With preternatural calm, Bellard, escaping to the upstairs hallway of the house, closed the den door behind him. He didn't know what was going to be following him and didn't want to know, either.

The narrow upstairs gave him a few rooms to hide in, all dead-ends. Bellard looked down at the crater that used to be a living room. Undoubtedly, he had vaporized his first assailant; what he had in his hands could take care of anybody.

Behind him was a ½ bathroom. Bellard aimed the grenade launcher into the room and fired. Porcelain, bathroom fixtures, lights exploded as Bellard calmly shielded his eyes. Instead of a back bathroom window, there was now a hole in the wall through which the rest of the Chestnut Hill neighborhood could be seen.

Bellard calmly turned in the opposite direction and aimed the grenade launcher at the closed den door, the Mitsubishi in his den still beeping its horn wildly at nothing. He would not need the around-the-corner capacity of his weapon to take care of whatever came through that door.

** -- Mr. Bellard, you might want to look behind you… -- **

_A voice in his head!_ Bellard rapidly turned towards the mess he had made of the upstairs bathroom, prepared for battle, gun at the ready.

It was at that point that the door to the den opened behind him.

Before Bellard could readjust to the fact that he was now facing the wrong direction, Jane used her power and ripped the grenade launcher from his hands, praying that she had gripped the outer area as tightly as she could without upsetting the trigger.

The weapon flew straight into Jane's grasp.

Bellard now faced Jane and Daria, who had somehow both miraculously made it upstairs.

"Forget about the gun in your robe," said Daria. Daria carried the clothes of the three girls in a bag strapped to her shoulder. "I'll know when you're shooting before you even think about it."

Jane put Bellard's weapon aside. "Let's see, you tried to kill Daria's sister, and you tried to kill me. You also tried to kill Russell Stark. That makes you oh-for-three."

"And I want to go one-for-one," growled Daria. "If Quinn's hurt, we're going to make you pay!"

Bellard put up his hands, backing into the bathroom.

"That's quite a long drop," said Jane. "Two stories. Think you can break into a run before I bring my ride with me?"

To punctuate Jane's point, behind them, the three could hear the floor of the den finally giving way and a loud crash of something very heavy down to the ground floor. The Mitsubishi finally stopped beeping.

"And there are a hell of a lot of things I could hit you with," said Jane. Bellard had now backed into the ½ bathroom, with nothing to his back but Philadelphia air and a twenty-foot drop to the ground.

"I might take my chances," said Bellard, calmly. "Or just try to quick-draw you."

"Why did you want to kill Russell Stark?" said Daria, as Bellard eyed the open ground below.

….

The two story house had a crawlspace that had never been converted into a true basement. The area was large enough to stand up in, but for now was nothing but insulation and pipes.

The door to the crawlspace exploded with concussive force. A young girl walked out, wearing a black set of scrubs that used to be pink. She was furious, with lightning in her eyes and a willingness to kill.

"DAMMIT!! Let me get my hands on him!!" Quinn was looking for a target. She was covered in grime and looked very unhappy.

"Quinn!!" It was a voice from somewhere up high.

Quinn looked up. There appeared to be a sizable hole in the house. Standing at the hole, his back turned to Quinn, was the man who had fired that gun at her.

"Hey! You! I dare you to jump!" shouted Quinn.

"Quinn!! Are you okay?!" It was Daria.

"He – he – HE RUINED MY CLOTHES!!" Quinn could have torn him apart with her teeth if she had a chance.

"Still think your chances are good if you jump?" smirked Jane.

Bellard did a rapid mental calculus. No escape through the girls in blue and red. No escape from a jump from the crazy electric girl in pink. There was only one way out of the situation, and he hated to use it. But his freedom was at stake, and he had no other options.

Bellard smiled. "Bye."

And before Daria could say anying, Bellard stepped out through the hole in the side of the house and into the open air.

Daria and Quinn could hear the sound of lightning crackle. "Crap!" shouted Daria. "Quinn killed the guy!!"

The two rushed to the hole in the wall and looked down.

"He's getting away!!" screamed Quinn. "Get him!!"

The two looked down, as Quinn was leaping and pointing straight up.

Daria and Jane looked up. They could see a man in a robe flying through the air, like a guided missile, disappearing into the night sky.

"Get him," said Daria to Jane.

"What the hell? It took all I had just to get _you_ up to the – "

** -- GET HIM! -- **

Jane's mind snapped shut, and before she could put up any resistance, her body acted. She found herself leaping out the window.

**oh shit twenty feet there go my poor legs **

With all her energy, Jane concentrated on flying, fast, hard, anyway, anywhere.

And she…was….

…GOING!!

"AAHHHHH!!!!!" Jane rocketed quickly up. Quinn in the back yard began shrinking rapidly as Jane propelled herself skyward. She began looking around, looking in the sky, looking anywhere for the man in the robe, flying, continuing a couple of seconds unimpeded by gravity.

Now she remembered what she had learned in Utah.

_There is a danger_, said her instructor, _that you might accidentally propel yourself with such powerful magnetic force that you could find yourself very quickly in the forbidding upper atmosphere. Or, even worse, out of earth's gravity, where you'd die in space._

Jane rapidly brought a stop to her flight.

She closed her eyes, and took an intake of cold air into her lungs.

Slowly, she opened her eyes.

She was suspended in midair in the night sky. She could look down, trying to figure out how high she was. It was so dark that the house was hard to make out anymore and there were little lights that might have been cars.

From her vantage point, she looked down and saw the life of cities beneath her, glowing yellow grids surrounded by the blackness of the country, occasional outposts of tiny lit dots indicating country homes, expanses of pitch black that might have been fields, or lakes, and watching a faint glow from the horizon. She didn't understand this strange new world she found herself in, but Jane thought it was wonderful.

_It is so peaceful…up here. I wish I could bring the world up here_. It was something that everyone needed to see. The world, at night, from the sky.

Jane looked up, down, in any direction she could find. Bellard was gone. He had quite literally flown the coop. _So much for that idea._

It was then that Jane was struck with a thought. Half in anxiety, and half in annoyance, she shouted, to no one in particular, "Hey! How do I get DOWN from here??"

(la la LA la la)

Daria slept a fitful sleep.

Quinn and Daria had made their way out of the Bellard home, Daria taking the rickety stairs back down. A crowd of homeowners had crowded the area. There were no police around, but Daria suspected they would arrive.

She had to give Quinn credit for shouting "Police! This house is going to explode!!" The cry cleared the block of onlookers immediately, and gave the two time to escape before the anxious thoughts of the onlookers could flood Daria's mind. Even so, Daria heard the Ping of Death from her monitor, and only thoughts of being in Trent's arms brought her to peaceful calm as the two escaped.

Quinn remembered the number Jane had called. Daria was surprised at Quinn's facility for remembering phone numbers. Not more than thirty minutes later, Daria and Quinn sat on a Philadelphia park bench waiting for a private cab to deliver both of them to the airport.

Quinn seemed uninjured, but used bottled water to clean herself up. What wasn't cool was Quinn using Jane's clothes as a towel.

"Daria, we can't find Jane anyway! It's not like she's coming back real soon!!" Trust Quinn to be practical.

Daria and Jane worried about Jane during the entire flight back. Did she find Bellard? Did Bellard kill her? What the hell had happened to Jane? Neither said anything, afraid to give voice to their fears.

The two had made it back to Lawndale just in time for second period at Lawndale High School. Daria muttered something about Jane being on a fact-finding mission. She was a complete zombie the rest of the day. Even O'Neill didn't bother her.

One of Quinn's admirers drove the two home. Somehow, the two of them stayed awake long enough for Helen's leaden microwave lasagna to settle to their stomachs. Helen asked the two why they didn't seem vibrant. Quinn and Daria said nothing. Helen had her own suspicions. _Teenagers! They stay up all night at a slumber party and have to pay for it the next day!! _

At 7:12 PM, Daria crawled into bed. She had been awake for God knows how long. Barch had assigned homework for the next day, but Daria was unable to function at all.

Within a minute, she escaped into unconsciousness, the nights events seeming like a bad dream.


	17. 3:1 Unwanted Company

"Now everyone," said Mrs. Barch, "Remember to put everything away! Remember that you're plotting velocity versus time, distance versus time and velocity versus distance!

And put everything away!"

"Gee, Daria," said Brittany, "thanks for helping me out since Kevvy's at special football practice!"

Daria was glad that Kevin was at 'special football practice' – a euphemism for an illegal practice called by Ms. Li to strengthen the Lions up for their next opponent. The practice had the advantage of getting Kevin and the other 'brilliant' players out of school classes where their obvious ignorance could be noticed and recorded.

"Don't mention it," said Daria. "I insist. Really. Let us never speak of this again." Explaining the science of rolling a sphere down an incline to Brittany required super abilities that no human being possessed.

"Daria!" said Mrs. Barch. "I want to see you after class!"

"Crap," muttered Daria.

"Don't worry!" Brittany smiled. "It will be okay! See you!"

Daria trudged to Mrs. Barch at her lab station.

"Well, Daria," said Mrs. Barch, "I noticed that you didn't turn in any homework today. That's not like you!"

"Well…" Daria rubbed the back of her head. "Uh…."

"That's okay, Daria! Frankly, if I were to make an exception, it would be for you, and not for all those testosterone-driven _males_ who cut my class to practice wanton acts of brutality and sexism! I know all about the Legion!"

"You…do?"

"Yes. Trust me – Mrs. Li has made us very aware of it. I'm proud of you, Daria, setting an example that young women can make it on their own without the patronizing shadow of phallocentrism!" (Daria thought of the mental image, and winced.) "You're smart, and you'll go places! I'd rather that you take advantage of the corrupt system than those _males_ like Kevin Thompson! You're helping to overthrow the patriarchy! You tell Jane and Quinn that we can reach an understanding! Although Quinn…well, if she could stop acting like a little – "

"—yes, thank you very much, Mrs. Barch. I'll bring in my homework tomorrow!"

"Any time, Daria!"

Daria walked out of the room, quite surprised. Brittany was waiting for her.

"How did it go?"

"Uh…it went okay."

"I knew it! Trust me, if you help Lawndale High School, Lawndale High School helps you! We cheerleaders do an awful lot for Lawndale! And now, you can too, with your brainy stuff! I even wrote a cheer for the Legion! Do you wanna hear it?"

"I…uh…_hey, there's Jane_! I need to…uh…give Jane the good news!"

"Oh! Well, I have to meet Kevvy…uh…somewhere! See you!" And with that, Brittany headed to the part of school that led to roof access, where Daria figured Brittany would 'meet Kevvy' for a personal biology lesson.

Jane, however, wasn't a lie. It was indeed Jane, looking dog-tired.

"Hey."

"Hey," said Jane.

"You look like crap. And not the nice, eye-pleasing crap"

"Oh, not sleeping for about thirty hours will do that to you. You two had my phone. I had to figure out where I was and make it back home."

"Where were you?"

"I think I landed somewhere in Ohio. It was as cold as hell when I wasn't flying. I got some odd looks on the ground, dressed in my jammies."

"Why didn't you come back?"

"How was I supposed to get back? I don't know what Lawndale looks like from ten thousand feet up! I had no damn idea where I was most of the time. I finally figured out that getting home was just as easy as taking the Interstate – or at least, watching it from the sky. Almost got hit by a power line. And two birds tried to pick on me. I landed at home an hour ago and headed to school. I figured you might be worried."

"Yeah." Daria was thankful Jane came to school – if their situations had been reversed, Daria would have crashed in bed.

"And I missed math and I missed art," said Jane. "Great."

"Well, from what I understand – I don't think they're going to hold it against you," said Daria. Daria was coming to her own conclusions from Mrs. Barch and Brittany.

"Good. I couldn't put up a fight."

"Wanna eat lunch?"

"Starved."

"Can you make it through Mr. O'Neill's class?"

"Sure. I'll get an hour of sleep."

(la la LA la la)

"…Jane, I think there's some kind of weird system at Lawndale High. If you're a jock, or a cheerleader, Ms. Li lets you get out of doing homework and taking tests. And since we're with the Legion…."

"…we get out anyway. Well, great. I don't miss math."

"That's not right."

"God knows I enjoy dirt, dirt, dirt about Ms. Li!" said Jane, "but we have to talk about Quinn and Sandi."

"Do we? I just ate. And I think Ms. Li is more important."

"Daria, Quinn really pulled our bacon bits out of the fire a few times. She put the whole thing together about Alan Bellard."

"Right. And we all know how successful that turned out to be."

"Look, Daria," said Jane. "Don't ride Quinn so hard okay?"

"You're taking her side?"

"I didn't think there was a "'side' to take. Listen. I think we should think about letting Sandi into the Legion. Quinn did something for us, and we should do something for her."

"Why?"

"Because you were never a younger sister," said Jane, "but I was."

"Is Sandi going to go on our trips to Philadelphia? Maybe she could blind people with her fashion sense. Or swallow them in one gulp with that hateful appendage she calls a mouth."

"Look…we humor Quinn. Letting Sandi in will make Quinn feel better. Also, it will keep Quinn out of our hair most of the time. Do _you_ want to spend our meetings with Quinn talking about chartreuse slacks?"

"Hmm. Come to think of it…no. All right. We'll meet Sandi and see if my Ping of Death doesn't go off. But the Quarry isn't too fashionable."

"Good," said Jane. "If Sandi can't stand us, it's that much easier to get rid of her. I only want us to try to be nice to Quinn, not kiss her butt."

"Then I'll be my charming self."

"You do that."

(la la LA la la)

The phone rang. Linda Griffin got to the phone as quickly as possible.

"Sandi? How did it go?"

"Uh…Mrs. Grif-fin…..?" 

Linda knew the voice. It was Sandi's brain damaged friend, Tiffany.

"Tiffany, Sandi is not at home."

"Where is she?" 

"She's trying out for Legion membership. You've seen the commercials."

"Uh…where would that be…?" 

"If you insist…it's at the old Forman Quarry. She'll be there the entire day, so there's no point in calling us back. You can meet her at the gate. She's driving the convertible. I really must keep this line open. Good-bye!"

_Alexandra Griffin, you have to get into the Legion. At least you'd hang around with someone who can string two words together. _

(la la LA la la)

Tiffany Blum-Deckler tried to make another call. She would call Sandi's cell phone and catch up with her there. However, her fingers went right through the phone pad to the half-solid hand holding the receiver. For a few brief seconds, her opposite hand lost its solidity, and she dropped the phone again. She had dropped it several times that day.

Tiffany couldn't get it together. Literally. She had tried to find a nice dress, but had to spend over an hour just getting her slip to stay on without falling through her body. At some point in the laborious process, her body accepted the fact that it would be wearing a slip, even if against its will. Getting the dress to stay on, or shoes, or her purse was a different story.

It would be a long walk to the quarry. But…there was really no one else who could help her except Sandi. After all, Sandi would be there the entire day.

(la la LA la la)

"Face it, Jane," said Sandi. "The Legion…is a good idea. But neither you nor Quinn's cousin have the savoir-faire to reach people."

"Damn French class! I knew I should have studied harder!"

Jane and Sandi walked around the three portable trailers that had been set up at the quarry. Each quarry was a mobile home of its own, for the personal use of the Legionnaires.

"Uh…yeah. Anyway, I thought that the Legion could reach out to, you know, the popular people. The non-socially challenged. The Fashion Club does all sorts of charity work. Assisting the poorly coordinated with clothing coordination. De-browning the overly brown. Eliminating overly bold lipstick colors!"

Jane glared at Sandi. Sandi remembered Jane's crimson red lipstick.

"Well…uh…it's a long going project."

"Sandi," said Jane, "I don't mind you being in the Legion. But there's one thing that you have to do for me."

"And that is?"

"Hang out with Quinn. _Please_."

Sandi's face turned sour at the snub. Jane's cell phone rang, mercifully ending the conversation. Jane answered it.

"Yo!"

"I'm still not convinced that Sandi should be in the Legion." It was Daria.

"Well, amiga, I think we have to bite the bullet on this one."

"Fine. Anything to get me out of this conversation with her. She's already offered twice to make me over." 

"Huh? Are you talking telepathically to Sandi?"

"No. Sandi's in front of me." 

"She's in front of me, too. I thought you were going to stay in the trailer and I was going to talk to Sandi."

"I thought I was going to talk to Sandi in the trailer and you were going to go somewhere else!" 

"Who told you that?"

The two came to the same conclusion. _"Quinn!!"_

Daria, in the trailer with Sandi, heard a knock on the door. Quinn opened it.

"Dah-RI-AAA!! I think there's someone out here that you're going to want to meet!!"

(la la LA la la)

"You knew this?" said Jane. "And you didn't bother to tell us?"

"I thought it would be a surprise!" said Quinn.

"So…," said Daria, thinking, "do the three of you have one mind…or three minds?"

Sandi 1 spoke up. "Each of us has a separate mind. We all think our own thoughts."

"But we have a tendency to…," said Sandi 2, interrupted by….

…Sandi 3, who continued, "…complete each other's sentences."

"Maybe it's low grade telepathy," said Daria, writing down notes on a pad. "And when you come back together, what happens?"

"The one of us knows everything that all of us know," said Sandi 1. "You can test us."

"Wait a second," said Jane. "I'm still not over you not telling us!"

"And I'm not over you _not_ letting me help out before we went to Philadelphia!" shouted Quinn. "You two were so stuck-up that I asked Sandi to help me out finding information! And it was a lot easier with four people working on it than two!"

"So how did you find out Sandi had these powers, Quinn?"

Quinn smirked. "She told me. She _trusted_ me! Unlike some people in this room I won't mention!"

"So you, naturally, told Sandi," said Daria.

"Yes," said Sandi 2. "And I kept it a secret. I thought that we could all get into big trouble if everyone knew too much."

"Why not? It would make you the most fashionable people in Lawndale."

"No," said Sandi 3, "if people thought we had powers, we would just stand out. It's just too weird."

"And your parents know?" asked Jane, "and they're okay with it?"

"I guess," said Sandi 1. "I don't think we had any choice. They're not going to tell anyone. And Sam and Chris would be punished." The two other Sandis smiled at the thought.

"Well…," thought Jane, "I don't see how I can keep you out."

"Great. Now we have another member who can contribute three times the brain power of a chipmunk."

"Hey!" said Sandi. "I'm like, right in the room, Quinn's cousin or whatever!"

"Okay. A larger animal than a chipmunk. We don't need the power of super-annoyance."

"Daria," said Jane, "the point is to give Quinn someone to hang around with."

"Dammit. All right. Against all of my better judgment. But we need to know everything here and I do mean everything."

(la la LA la la)

Tiffany Blum-Deckler was haunted.

As she walked the slow path to the Quarry on foot, she could see them. The ghosts. The ghostly people. They were now starting to fade in and out. She could only see them for a few seconds, but they would disappear.

As for the drivers on the road, they were no bother. If they saw a tall Asian girl wearing a slip and walking down the road in the middle of the morning, they chalked it up to something they didn't care to report to the police. Two teenage boys made a nasty suggestion, shouted out the window, but they were driving so fast that their rude comment collapsed into a distorted phrase as they sped by.

The truck the boys were driving went through one of the ghosts. He was an older gentleman. He wore those clothes Tiffany saw in those plays about that person with the really long name in those plays that have the "ye" and "thou" in them. As the truck passed right through him, he ignored it, then, disappeared again.

The boys didn't stop the truck, or try to get out and see what happened. The vehicle disappeared in the distance.

Tiffany knew that she was dying, somehow. She was seeing the dead. An older man looked at her disapproving. A woman, dressed in rags, screamed something in a foreign language. She appeared to be quite insane, quite angry, and flew around her twice before flying away, her cackles ringing in Tiffany's ears.

Step. Step. Step. The sun was beginning to beat down, and she could feel it. She was looking very unfashionable, her overly caked makeup starting to run in smears, running in brown spectral streaks across her immaterial face. Her toes had no substance, but she could still feel each leaded step.

She had not eaten. She could not eat. And what would her mother have said to Tiffany if she knew? She would have probably blamed Tiffany for it. "You did this to yourself. You find a way out of it."

Sandi could help her. Sandi was smart. But she had to get to Sandi. She couldn't drive a car. She couldn't feed herself.

Tiffany wished she was smart. "If you read too much you get wrinkles," her mother said. And she didn't want wrinkles. But right now, she would have given anything to read a book so that she could know what to do!

One of the ghosts looked at her. The ghost seemed Asian-looking. He was muscular looking, short, with an open shirt. Whoever it was, he appeared young, with a quite serious demeanor. He wore large wooden clogs.

The ghost stepped forward.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi," said Tiffany, back. "Am..I dead?"

"I don't think so. My name is Bai Zheng. How do you do?"

"I need help…I have to get to the Legion…."

Bai nodded. "You must keep walking. You will be there in a half an hour. You have walked far. I would stay and wait. You need to talk to Daria Morgendorffer. She'll know what to do."

"How…how do you know who…Darrrria is?"

The young man smiled. "I watch. I watch many things. There is nothing else for me to do here." Bai Zhan smiled, almost shyly." I have never spoken to one of the pretty girls of the waking world! Not since the hundreds of years I was cast here!!"

"Are yooou dead?"

"No," Bai Zhan sighed, "no, but not a night passes when I do not wish I was dead. I shall go ahead to see if your friends are there. You are…Tiffany, right?"

"Right. I'm just soooo tired…." Tiffany did not even think of asking how Bai Zhan knew her name.

"Do not lose heart. If they are not there, wait for them in a day's time. You must not give up, Tiffany. Do not despair! I do not know how long I will be able to talk to you!"

Bai Zheng began to fade. "Tiffany…!!"

Tiffany ran forward to reach for him.

But he was gone.

Tiffany didn't know what to do. Perhaps, after the hours of walking, she was hallucinating. But if she were just seeing things, then seeing Bai Zhan was a good thing to see.

Tiffany walked forward. Step. Step. Step….


	18. 3:2 Clubbies Together

"So you're saying it was a mouse that started it all?" said Daria.

"Yes. Definitely a mouse," said Sandi, now reduced to only one person. "I remember Tiffany and me meeting Fluffy on the back porch. Fluffy had killed a blue mouse and brought it to us. Then Fluffy sneezed all over us! It was really gross and then Tiffany started sneezing because she was allergic and – "

"A blue mouse?" said Daria. It was starting to come together.

"Tiffany." It was Jane speaking. "Where's Tiffany now?"

"Gee, I don't know," said Sandi. "I think she's been a bit under the weather, like, she's allergic to cats and stuff…."

"Great! All this weird stuff happened to you, a blue mouse coming from God knows where? Do you even know what happened to the mouse?"

"Huh?" said Sandi. "I had Dad throw it away!"

Daria interrupted. "And Tiffany. You and Tiffany were exposed to the same stimulus and you never even bothered to compare notes or anything?"

Sandi shrank. "Well…I…uh…."

_Moron!_ "Well, Quinn, I hope you're happy with the addition of brainpower to the Legion. I'm getting tired of doing the heavy lifting around here."

"Ohmigod!" Quinn looked as if she'd been slapped. "Tiffany hasn't been in school for days!"

**AHHHHHHH oh my GOD oh my GOD SHE'S DEAD Tiffany oh my GOD !!!**

Daria clenched her teeth. Then an audible "ahhHHH!!" escaped her lips in panic as she pointed behind the seated Quinn and Sandi.

Each of the girls turned. The sight behind them caused Sandi to swoon. Quinn, quite brave during the fight with Bellard, dived away from the table, stumbling to her feet in the cramped trailer.

"Helloooo…." It was Tiffany. "Can someone…help…?"

Tiffany was semi-material. Daria and Jane could look right through her, looking to the other side.

Daria grabbed Sandi, and spun her around, almost hiding behind her. "THAT'S what I'm talking about!!"

"Oh shit…" mumbled Sandi.

Tiffany reached out, as if trying to find something solid. She walked right through the table where the four had been sitting.

"Is she going to kill us?" moaned Quinn.

Daria tried desperately to read Tiffany's mind.

…**so tired no food can't walk can't call help me fading away will die too tired Daria help me…. **

Daria tried to cast her thoughts, holding her fear at bay. The wrist monitor pinged into action. The Ping of Death.

** -- Tiffany. Tiffany, are you alive? -- **

…_can't get solid…can't feel anything…. _

** -- Tiffany! You have to trust us! -- **

…_must sl-eeeeeepppp_…. Tiffany was starting to fade further and further away. Daria didn't know what she would do if Tiffany completely faded into nothingness.

** --Tiffany, you have to try! Come back!-- **

…_can't try…._ Even the mental voice was getting weaker.

_I'm going to disappear…helllllp meeeeee _

** -- Tiffany, if you can't hang on I can't help you -- !! - **

…_Goddddd….g-g-goinggggg…tooooo…d-dieeeee…_

** -- STOP IT TIFFANY DON'T DIE PLEASE DON'T DIE STOP IT RIGHT NOW GET SOLID RIGHT NOW!!! -- **

Something snapped on in Tiffany's hind brain. She obeyed. She immediately materialized into solidity. Tired, and exhausted, Tiffany's brain gave out and she collapsed unconsciously to the trailer floor.

Daria fell backwards, landing on the floor rear-end first. The three other frightened girls retreated from the safety on the other room and ran forward to see what was happening.

184/102. _Dammit, Trent…where are you…I could use you…._ Daria pulled herself to her feet.

"Daria, your monitor's still pinging!" said Jane.

"Never mind that, Jane. Tiffany might run out of pings sooner that I do!"

Quinn and Sandi had both run to help Tiffany. Sandi was desperately trying to wipe the make-up off Tiffany's face with her bare hands. Quinn was watching carefully for any signs of life.

"I think…she's alive!!"

"Good!" said Daria. "Get her some water. Get Dr. Burchell down here right away, Jane…because if Tiffany starts fading out again, I'm going to have to stay here and bring her back until we can figure this out…and I don't figure I have the strength for that."

"Anything else I can get you?" said Jane.

"Mountain Dew…and lots of it!!"

(la la LA la la)

Each of the trailers had a bedroom. The four carried Tiffany to one of the beds and quickly put her under the covers. The two other Fashion Club members wiped Tiffany's makeup away and cleaned the grime off Tiffany that she had been unable to wash away.

"Gee, what a mess," muttered Jane, watching Quinn and Sandi work from the door.

"The stack keeps getting higher and higher," said Daria, turning away. Jane followed her.

"Do you have any ideas?" said Jane.

"I'm going to stay here with Tiffany, I suppose. Quinn can make up something to tell Mom and Dad."

"Why you?"

Daria sighed. "I doubt we'll be talking computers and public policy. All I know if that if Tiffany starts to fade away, I might be able to calm her down to the point where she can be solid again."

"Or maybe she can learn how to control it, somehow."

"Right. And you know that Tiffany has the perfect teacher. I'm still afraid that I'm going to have a stroke."

A thought crossed Daria's mind. "Trent. Do you think that Trent could come over here?"

"Hmmm," smiled Jane, "you, Trent, a fully stocked trailer, maybe some sweet music…."

"Not if Trent brings his guitar. Seriously. What is Trent doing right now?"

"Let's see. It's after 2PM. So he's probably asleep."

"We need Trent over here. Because right now, we've got too much going on and we can't keep our fingers on all the buttons."

"Well," said Jane, "Dawn Hall didn't seem to mind. I need to order three more trailers."

"That's one of the problems. We need a lot more space until they finish the building. There are dangerous radioactive skunks and mice patrolling Lawndale. The Bellard guy managed to fly away from us – "

"—you won't see him again – "

"—tell me about it. So catching him is out of the question now. He's gone back to his bosses. We're supposed to be the spokespersons for a youth organization which has a billion dollar budget. And somehow, with all this mess, AND Tiffany's weirdness, my parents believe that Quinn and I are somehow no different than before and expect us to live normal lives around the edges. And my edges are starting to fray."

Jane walked over to the refrigerator. "So how many cans of Dew do you want?"

"Enough to sink a kidney. That's why we need Trent. We're short on manpower."

"Uh…Trent isn't exactly manpower. He just occupies space."

_He occupies exactly the space I need occupied… __**oh crap!**__ I didn't mean to think it that way! Oh hell…! _

"Uh…" said Daria, "do you think he's capable of watching Tiffany?"

"Well, he couldn't do a worse job than Penny or Summer did with me. Penny let me squirt Reddi Whip into my nose. Snorted white stuff out of my nose for a week."

"Okay…do you think that Trent can watch things without letting the area burn down? And without any Reddi Whip accidents?"

"That he can do. Nothing's burned yet. By the way…I need to show you some stuff. It might be important."

(la la LA la la)

In the other room, Quinn and Sandi watched Tiffany sleep.

"She looks really peaceful," said Quinn.

"Unfashionable…but she's sleeping."

"Sorry about…uh…my cousin."

"Don't worry about it." Sandi knew all about annoying siblings, but would never dare tell Quinn that she knew that Daria and Quinn were more than 'cousins'. _How does a fashionable person like Quinn have such a dork for a sister? _

"Uh…Quinn…? Do you think that Tiffany's going to be all right?"

"Well…Dr. Burchell helped Daria out with her powers, so she could help Tiffany."

"Yeah." Sandi was feeling very guilty. She had been so worried about her own poor health, and then worried about Quinn's new popularity boost that she had left Tiffany by the wayside. _You're a rotten friend._

Sandi looked at Quinn. "I have to make a phone call. I don't want to bother Daria or Jane. They don't look happy." The muffled voices of conversation between Daria and Jane could be heard elsewhere in the trailer.

"There's a back door! But there aren't any stairs. It's like a five foot drop or something."

"I can make it. I just want to be alone for a while."

(la la LA la la)

Sandi carefully let herself out the back door. Outside the trailer, there was nothing but dust that covered a rock surface. In the distance, Sandi could watch the line of trucks bring steel, pipe, and materials to this excavated and forgotten part of Lawndale. _I can't believe you can build anything out here. The dust would get in your hair!! _

Fumbling inside her purse, she reached for her cellphone. She dialed a number on speed dial.

"Hello?" 

"Mom? Sandi. I'm calling from where they're going to build the skyscraper."

"Well? What happened?" 

"I'm in the Legion."

"Wonderful. Listen, Sandi…I want you to get to know everyone first, have them feel comfortable. Be nice to the dowdy girls, butter up Quinn…then, you'll bring me in as a consultant! This is the biggest opportunity of your life. Don't blow it! Stay as long as you have to, but I want you to get home at the first opportunity. I've already started making plans for you!" 

"Okay. Listen…I gotta go."

"No problem. I'll see you when you get home, Sugar. Bye." 

Sandi clicked the phone shut. By rights, she should have been happy that all of her plans worked out. And what for? Tiffany was sick. Daria and Jane were mad at her. She was tempted to split and have a conversation with herself, but that was no good. It would have been like talking to a mirror.

The fact that she hadn't even tried to call Tiffany bothered her. _Were you in pain, Tiffany? Did you suffer like I did? Why didn't I try to help you?_

Looking into the horizon, Sandi knew what her mother would say. "Tiffany is not your problem. Focus on yourself." There had to be something extra that Sandi could do for Tiffany.

Suddenly, Sandi knew what she could do. Maybe it wasn't something she could do herself. But it was something someone else could do. And her number was on speed dial. It was time for Sandi to make things right.

(la la LA la la)

The four other Legionnaires met around Tiffany's bed. While Tiffany slept, none of them felt secure enough to leave the room.

"Okay," said Jane. "First things first. The trailers belong to Quest Corporation. They're pretty cool, and if anyone needs to crash here, we can. When they get the new digs built, we'll move out of them and they'll be rolled away. A dude comes out here once a day to see if we need anything. There's a list attached to the refrigerator door, leave it there. He has the key, he'll knock.

"Next. These bracelets are for all of us." Jane handed out three bracelets. "Sandi, yours will come in the mail."

"They look _clunky_ and _unfashionable_," sniffed Sandi.

"Tough titty. Each of them has a global positioning system hookup. Since I can fly, I need it so I know where the hell I am up there. Daria's has her blood pressure monitor built into it. Quinn, I don't know if that thing is going to fry off of you when you blast something, so don't get attached.

"Next…cellphones." Jane handed everyone a belt.

"Cool!" said Quinn. "This will go with my outfit!" Quinn's cellphone was pink, Jane's was red and Daria's was blue.

"You put the elastic belt around your waist, and snap the cellphone in here. Kind of like Batman, but without any Bat Anti-Shark Spray. We need cellphones to keep in touch in case we get divided. There's a number we can call at Quest which is encrypted."

"Excuse me…Jane?" said Sandi. "These aren't the same…clothes I saw you wearing during the commercial?"

Daria smiled. "Gasp. The very same. We have a bright orange one picked out just for you!!"

Sandi looked ill.

"Like, how many cell phone minutes do you get?" said Quinn.

"Uh…I don't think it matters. Quest is paying for it!" said Jane.

"Fantastic! I have to cancel my dates for tonight! This will be great, Sandi! We can call each other without running up a bill!!"

"'_Bright orange?'_" asked Sandi.

"Hey," smirked Daria. "Everyone gets a different color."

"And we picked orange," said Jane, joining in. "Non-negotiable."

"Nothing goes with orange!" Sandi mumbled something incomprehensible after the outburst.

"And no complaining," said Daria, "because I can read your mind whenever I want to. Not that I would ever want to."

"Dah-RIAA!!" said Quinn, now embarrassed. "We are not going to make Sandi wear orange!"

"Not until she proves herself in trial by combat," said Daria.

Sandi blanched. "Combat?"

(la la LA la la)

"It's going to be a few hours before Stacy can get here," said Sandi. "Her parents are making her do yard work. She'll be here as fast as she can."

Quinn tried to reassure Sandi. "Sandi, Daria and Jane were just teasing! There's no trial by combat!" _I think._

"All I can say is, I now know why you were so desperate to have a _sane_ person be a part of the Legion!. I just want to you know that I am here for you, in the capacity of both friend and Fashion Club President."

"Thanks, Sandi! This is going to be great! No more being pushed around anymore!"

"Yeah."

"You know," said Quinn. "If we can get Tiffany in the Legion…then there would be more of _us_ than there would of _them_…."

"Hmmm…Quinn, you are absolutely right!"

"And I was thinking that I – "

" – would nominate me as President of the Legion? Quinn, that is a brilliant idea!! I am touched and honored that you would put me ahead of yourself. With your help as Vice-President, the Legion will be on its way to greatness and popularity! I accept this heavy burden. But not so quickly!"

" – well, Sandi, I was really thinking that – "

" – okay, the first thing to go are these 'uniforms', or whatever! No member of the Fashion Club can be seen on a permanent basis in those unsized clothes!"

"Yeah, they are kind of geeky…although I still want pink!"

"And Jane and Daria can keep red and blue." _But I'll be dead before I'm seen wearing anything __**orang**__e…!! _


	19. 3:3 In Fumo Veritas

Daria and Jane watched Stacy Rowe enter what had' become Daria's trailer'. Daria was unhappy about having a fourth Fashion Club member show up, as she suspected that Quinn and Sandi would attempt to reorganize the Fashion Club under the Legion aegis. However, Quinn convinced Jane that Stacy was "really dependable" and might be convinced to stay with Tiffany, freeing Daria of having to find an excuse to tell Helen.

"Hey!" said Stacy, ever cheerful.

"Hey," said Daria, not impressed. "The patient is in the other room. There are two specialists working with her right now."

"The patient's critical though. Her blush might not make it through the night."

Stacy squinted, trying to decipher the comments. "Uh…are Quinn and Sandi here?"

Jane thumbed in the direction of the bedroom. Stacy quickly disappeared.

"So…" said Daria, "do you think that they're going to tell Stacy _everything_?"

"Well, I don't know how much of 'everything' you can squeeze between those pigtails…but they'll tell her enough. I don't know if she'll scream, run, or cry when she finds out. We'd better get some hankerchiefs."

(la la LA la la)

Tiffany slept quietly while Stacy looked on. Stacy opened her diary to find her place, then put the book aside while she walked over to the bed.

"C'mon, Tiffany…drink something! Okay?" she asked, as if dealing with a stubborn child. Stacy lifted Tiffany's head up and forced a cup of diet soda between Tiffany's lips. Tiffany took a few sips, and let Stacy lower her head back down to the pillow.

Satisfied that Tiffany was drinking enough, Stacy returned to her diary:

_Today, Sandi and Quinn brought me down to the old quarry on Day Road. I knew that Quinn was in the Legion, and I thought that she would be too busy for me, but now, I found out that Sandi's in the Legion, too!! So that leaves me and Tiffany out is what I thought._

_Until I found out why Sandi and Tiffany were sick! I thought that Sandi was just mad at Quinn and trying to stay out of classes so she could get sympathy. I didn't know what Tiffany was doing, unless she was sick to help Sandi out! And that left me to ask all the teachers about homework, and make sure that Heidi wasn't wearing sandals again or that Brooke wasn't letting her underwear show which is so not cool._

_But it's a BIG SECRET! It's a secret so big that I'm not even going to write it in the diary! I'm just glad that Quinn (who is my NUMBER ONE BEST FRIEND) told me! She said Stacy I know I can trust you and that you will never tell anyone and then Sandi said the same thing to me! I didn't even know Sandi thought that way! So we all cried and I know that the FASHION CLUB R FRIENDS 4 + EVAH!!!!!_

_Tiffany is sick though. She's really sick. She hasn't eaten and I don't know if her parents know anything. I would call her Mom but her Mom is really creepy…I have NEVER seen her mom and I don't think that anyone else has either. I mean her Mom is at home but we don't talk about it and Tiffany brought that blond woman during the Charity Model Show (and we raised a lot of $$$ for charity). Tiffany's drinking, though, I just want her to eat something._

_Sandi waited until Quinn got called out by her sister (ANOTHER BIG SECRET, but Sandi thinks that we don't know – hee hee!) and then told me that she wants me to be SECRETARY of the LEGION!!! OH! MY! GODDD!!! And I am going to be on TV and everything!!! (So guess what Michael? You didn't call me so I am not going to call you, you creep!! Try to get a date NOW!!) Sandi says the Legion has lots of money so we are going to go…. _

There was a loud knock on the door. Stacy almost dropped her diary. She walked down the trailer's hallway and without opening the door, shouted, "who is it?"

"Uh…it's Trent. Trent Lane! I'm…uh…Janey's brother!"

Stacy let Trent inside. Trent carried his guitar case with him. "Uh…hi!" said Stacy.

"Hi. Did Janey say I was coming over?"

"Yeah. I was with Tiffany. I didn't think you would get here so late."

"Well…I'm a little slow today. And Daria? Is she here?"

"No, uh…Quinn and her like, cousin, had to go home! Quinn's mom wanted them back."

"Yeah." Trent didn't know if he was going to like Stacy. Jane had told him long ago about how Quinn pretended that she wasn't related to Daria. Trent thought it was pretty heinous. It appeared that Stacy was under the same impression.

"Uh…I'm going to stay the night with Tiffany," said Stacy. "Jane gave you the keys to her trailer, so you could stay in there if I fell asleep."

"That's cool." Jane had talked with Trent about moving into the "Legion Trailer Park". Trent didn't know if he could do that, since his only real responsibility was keeping tabs on the Lane household. Trent also figured that Stacy might be wary, seeing as how he was an adult and Stacy was still a minor.

"I…uh…brought the guitar. Maybe Tiffany likes music."

"Great! Do you know any Boys-R-Guys?"

Trent groaned.

(la la LA la la)

"Tiffany! C'mon, eat!!" Stacy had a spoonful of applesauce. Tiffany was rejecting Stacy's attempts to cram it in her mouth. Trent watched as Stacy patiently made her attempts for fifteen minutes, but Tiffany was either too tired to eat or spitefully refusing.

"Okay! I guess I'll try later then." Sighing, Stacy took the cup back to the kitchen. Trent followed.

"I don't think I would have been that patient," said Trent.

"Yeah…well…." Stacy didn't know how much she could tell this complete stranger, even though he supposedly knew everything. "I mean…Tiffany and food have like, _issues_…."

"You mean she's hungry," said Trent, "but she doesn't want to eat. Or something."

"Yeah, it's like every other word out of her mouth is like, 'does this make me look fat'?"

"Ow." Trent thought about it. "Is she like…mental? I had a girlfriend who was bulimic."

"Uh…." Stacy had thought about this for a long time, but never had any evidence, no sudden trips to the bathroom or binging by Tiffany or anything. Tiffany's weight was more or less normal. She assumed that Tiffany just tried to control her weight through not eating instead of exercise. "No…I think she just tries too hard to keep her weight down."

"Do you think she's sick to her stomach?"

"I don't know!" Stacy gave Trent a wide-eyed look that illustrated a bit of anxiety. Trent didn't like what he saw.

"Well…I think I can get her to eat something."

"Well, I'm sure you're a nice guy and you're really cute, but – oh my GOD! I didn't mean to say that! Oh my GOD I could just DIE!!" Stacy held both hands over her mouth and began hopping up and down in some bizarre fashion that made Trent wonder if Stacy wasn't the mental one.

Trent had an idea. It wasn't his best idea, but he didn't have many of them so he had to go with what he had. It was probably illegal too, but, well, he figured he was a criminale anyway.

"How cool are you?" said Trent.

"Uh…I'm cool! Sure! I'm very cool!" Stacy figured Trent meant 'popular' for 'cool'.

"I mean…are you really, really cool? Can you keep a secret?"

"Secret?" Stacy gulped. She had too many secrets today already.

(la la LA la la)

"_When you're not looking in the evening_

_But all the friends that you once knew are left behind_

_They kept you so safe and so secure amongst the books_

_And all the records of your lifetime_

_What will happen, in the morning, when the world it gets so crowded_

_That you can't look out the window in the morning?_

_Hey, take a little while to grow your brother's hair_

_And now, take a little while to make your sister fair_

_And now that the family is part of a chain_

_Take off your high shade, start over again…." _

Stacy smiled, somewhat glass eyed. Then she began coughing, a rapid staccato beat that crashed Trent's gentle song.

"Heh. You've never smoked before."

"No!" was the quick yelp from Stacy. "But it's like…heeheee…you're not going to think I'm telling you the truth…but…I could, like, _see_ the notes coming from your guitar…pink and bluuuuue notes…."

"Uh…that's probably not cool, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah. The first time Jesse smoked it, he thought his model airplanes hanging above his head were coming to life, and he took a baseball bat and broke all of them. Got into a lot of trouble. I told him not to smoke alone, but he didn't listen…."

"Oh my God! Is it like -- ?"

"No…chill down, Stacy, just let me play you another song. Close your eyes…." Trent didn't know if Stacy would get paranoid. He figured that a hyperparanoid Stacy would be like a blender on puree.

"…you know," said Stacy. "I think I'm having my first buzz! Ever! This – is –so—AWESOME! I feel, like, so relaxed. And it's like my head feels completely weird but I know what's going on and I can control it. This – is – so --AWESOME!!"

"Uh…yeah." Trent smiled.

Stacy rubbed her eyes. "Trent…I think we need to open a room in here – oops, I mean open a window in here!"

"'Open a room'. I have to remember that for a lyric. If you have some paper, I'm going to take notes."

"Cooooool!!!" Stacy smiled, closed her eyes, and rested. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Yeah. That would be cool. What do you have?"

"We have everything! It's like the refrigerator is – so – LOADED! There's soda and Snickers and cold cuts and ice cream and – "

"—yeah. Ice cream. Do you have chocolate ice cream?"

"I'm sure we do! And if we don't…I'm gonna look for those chocolate bottles of sauce that you put on Vanilla Ice Cream to make it chocolate!"

"Hey!" said Trent. "Wouldn't it be cool…if you could like…have chocolate ice cream…and _then_ put the chocolate sauce on it?"

"Oh-my-GOD! That is----so----AWESOME!!" Stacy giggled and ran to the kitchen.

Trent watched her go, as behind him, Tiffany silently licked her lips.

(la la LA la la)

"Mmmm! It's like there's a chocolate explosion in my mouth!"

Trent thought about the words 'Chocolate Explosion' being a new name for Mystik Spiral. He didn't like it. It sounded like something porn. He took another bite from the bowl with chocolate ice cream, chocolate sauce, baby Snicker bars, whipped cream, and cherries. It was good. Hell, it was great!! Maybe 'Chocolate Something Explosion' could be a band name…."

"I'm going to try to give Tiffany some food!" Stacy walked over with her bowl of ice cream. Tiffany moaned, this time a lot harder. She was definitely trying to find the strength to sit up vertically. Stacy put the bowl down and with Trent's help, they pulled the now-pajama-clad Tiffany to a better sitting level.

"Open wide, Tiffany! Here comes the choo-choo train!" Tiffany opened her mouth slightly as Stacy shoveled a bite of chocolate ice cream in. Tiffany began coughing, rapidly, spraying chocolate saliva all over the bed, down the front of her pajamas, and making a general mess.

"Whoa!" said Trent. "Like, not so fast! Let me do it!" After Tiffany's coughing jag ended, Trent continued to feed Tiffany with almost miniscule bites. She let her mouth fall open rhythmically, her sign to Trent and Stacy that she wanted more. Stacy watched in awe as Trent slowly, methodically, fed Tiffany the entire bowl of ice cream, save for the Snickers bars.

"Woowwwww…." said Stacy. "I've never seen Tiffany eat a whole bowl of ice cream before! And that was real ice cream, not diet homogenized sherbet substitute!"

"sooooo…hung-reeee…." said Tiffany.

"We gotta get everything we can get into Tiffany," said Trent. "Do we have anything else in the refrigerator that tastes good?"

(la la LA la la)

Tiffany's bedroom was now filled with the acrid smoke of marijuana and covered with empty wrappers. Tiffany was awake. She couldn't take the smoke, though, and Stacy had covered her eyes with a wet washcloth. Trent quietly put out his spliff.

"Say, Trent," smiled Stacy, "do you like Britney Spears?"

"Nah. She's kinda lame. But she's good looking!"

"So…do you listen to Britney? What don't you like about her?"

"Well…it's not like I listen to Brittany…I mean, I'm in rebellion against that pre-packaged American Idol synth pop. It's like, destroyed music. It was like, great bands roamed the earth and now, when you turn on the radio, all you hear is shit. Uh…sorry I said 'shit'."

"Nooooo problem. Sandi says 'shit' too! Eap! I just said 'shit'!" Stacy giggled.

"Hey Stacy."

"What?"

"'Shit'!"

Stacy almost collapsed, her giggles turning into guffaws. "Trent! Don't say that!" she managed to cough.

"ohhhhhhhhhhhh….." The two rapidly turned. It was Tiffany.

"Tiffany, what's wrong? OHMIGOD!! Are you hurt?" Trent could feel the paranoia start to build up in Stacy.

"Nooo…." Tiffany pushed herself up in bed. "Stac-ee…I have to tell you something…it's a secret…."

"Hold on, Trent!" Stacy ran over to Tiffany's side.

"Stacy," coughed Tiffany, "I don't want him to hear it…I need to whisper it into your ear…."

"Okay." Stacy bent over, leaning her left ear to Tiffany's mouth.

_Can you hear me?_ said Tiffany.

_Sure_, whispered Stacy. _What is it? _

…

'_Shit!'_

Stacy began laughing uncontrollably. Tiffany was giggling and then Trent started to laugh, too. Stacy began laughing so hard that she tripped and fell to the floor, and then began laughing even harder that she was on the floor.

Trent helped Stacy stand up. Stacy regained her composure to address the two. "Okay…there will be no more saying of…(giggle)…'shit' tonight!"

"Cool."

"But seriously," said Stacy, "I mean, why don't you listen to Britney Spears? Her music is really cool!"

"Well…hm." Trent thought about it. "I mean, most of her stuff is dance pop. I have a great respect for musicians. I know how hard it is. Britney's just a singer. So I really can't give her credit for her music."

"Yeah, but you like good music, right? I mean, you played The Cure and Nick Drake and I thought that was good music? So why can't you just enjoy it for the music? It really rocks!"

"Okay, then what really rocks by Britney, except for 'Oops! I Did It Again!'"

Stacy smiled. She pulled an iPod out of her purse. "I'm going to program it for you! I'll turn it to 'Do Something'!"

Trent put the earplugs in. Stacy cranked up the sound to Trent-acceptable levels.

Immediately, Trent was assaulted by what appeared to be percussion, electronica percussion. "Do you feel this?" asked Brittany. "Are you ready?" Trent found it annoying that Britney Spears was already asking for validation in the first few lines.

Then, the song went into overdrive:

"_Somebody give me my truck!_

_So I can ride on the clouds!_

_So I can turn up the base… like!!"_

_Somebody pass my guitar _

_So I can look like a star _

_And spend the cash… like…!"_

Immediately, Britney hit the bridge as the sound took electronica, punk, rap, dance, and crammed it together into a biological, pulsating form:

"_WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE CROWD GOES A'YA!?!" _

_Why u standing on the wall? _

_Music's starting everywhere! _

_So why don't u just move along?"!"_

Britney immediately exhorted her listeners to 'do something' in a seductive, entrancing beat. Trent couldn't help but feel himself pulled in by the sound and the sheer gritty enthusiasm of the person singing it. For a few second, he was able to forget that the song was being sung by BRITNEY and just enjoy the moment.

Stacy noticed Trent nodding his head rhythmically. "C'mon, let's dance to it!"

"Huh?"

She grabbed one of his arms to pull him out of his chair. "I mean, I've heard the song a hundred times! And it's bleeding out of your earphones! I'm hearing it right now!"

Before he knew it, Trent was standing up watching Stacy dance. Stacy was really getting down for a few moment, then grabbed him to make him move his arms, in the hopes that he would dance, too. Trent, however, wasn't going to dance, even if he thought the song really kicked ass, which he was starting to believe against his better judgment.

Stacy wasn't perturbed by a guy afraid to dance. She began moving her arms rhythmically, and seductively, in the cramped space, as if she had done this before (she had, in clubs). Stacy's eyes gave mixed messages. The first message was 'watch me dance' and the other message was 'do you want to get a little closer, hm?'

She then began to hip bump Trent, swinging back and forth. Trent was starting to feel a lot less fatherly, and gave a hip bump back. Giggling, Stacy grabbed Trent around the waist with both arms.

"Hey, you could dance if you wanted to!" Stacy had the wide open eyes again. Trent figured that she had made a completely innocent comment that mean nothing else that Trent possessed innate dancing skill.

"Uh…cool. Listen…I think I need to lie down for a little bit." He took off the headphones. 'Britney was really cool.'

"Do you have an iPod?"

"Uh…no. I'm a CDs and vinyl guy!"

"I'll get you a Britney CD! Really! And I'll download Nick Drake on iPod!"

"Sounds cool. Looks like Tiffany's doing a lot better."

Stacy smiled. "I think she's ready to eat again. She'll be a lot better in the morning!"

"Cool." Trent picked up his guitar case, made his goodbyes, and left the trailer.

(la la LA la la)

Trent got Jane's trailer open and flipped on the light switch. The trailer belonged to Jane only as an abstract concept. It was just as sterile and unpersonalized as the place he had left.

Kicking off his shoes, Trent immediately made it for the couch. He felt that he was feeling less aroused, and wouldn't need any lotions to 'get the job done'. He could probably get away with watching the tube and nodding out.

He was glad that Tiffany was okay. He knew that with Stacy there, Tiffany would always be in good hands, even though Stacy was a bit overzealous.

The night had taught Trent two important lessons.

Stacy…was…HOT. Sandi and Tiffany were okay-looking. They were girls who dressed well and put on a good face. Quinn, too, was good looking…but Trent figured that she had inherited that from the Morgendorffer genes, all the Morgendorffer women were good-looking. Quinn could hold up her end of a conversation, but she couldn't talk about anything interesting, so Quinn talked about herself most of the time. Trent felt no attraction for Quinn in the least, other than the pure physical attraction any male feels towards any good looking woman, an attraction easily taken out of mind by conscious thought.

But Stacy? She was good looking, eager, a great dancer, talked about _you_ instead of herself. Asked cool questions. Really cared about other people. And really, really sexy. She was the kind of girl that would put you first. Trent couldn't figure out why Stacy wasn't the most popular girl at Lawndale.

He had seen a few hints, thought. Stacy was very intense. A bit paranoid. She just looked right through you with those wanting, desperate eyes of hers. Probably scares guys away, like Daria's intellect scared guys away. You could tangle with Stacy, Trent supposed, but it would be a really _bad_ idea. She'd think you were going to marry her, and she'd start making plans. Not only was Stacy underage, not only would Jane disown him, but he might wake up with a horse's head in his bed. Or stabbed to death a la Stacy. Best not to even go there.

The second thing he learned – never give Stacy pot. **Ever.** Advice worth knowing. He looked to see if MTV2 was playing anything.


	20. 3:4 The Devil's Own

Daria waited for a few minutes as the can of Ultra Cola dispensed from the machine. "Ultra Cola – drink of the gods. They oughta have one of these on every street corner."

"I thought you hated Ultra Cola," said Jane.

"Listen," said Daria, "I'm learning to enjoy the ravages of caffeine addiction." Daria took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. Looking at Jane, she said, "You still here?"

"Boy, I wished I lived an interesting life like you."

The silence of the empty cafeteria was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Kevin and Brittany. Brittany's hair looked like she had just come from an all-night make-out session. Kevin scanned anxiously in both directions, as if he expected Oakwood linemen at any minute.

"Damn! They're not here!" squealed Brittany.

Kevin turned to Daria and Jane. "Uh…you two haven't seen a really short guy…wearing green and speaking in an Irish accent?"

"He smells like beer!" added Brittany. "And his friend is tall and blond and he wears a diaper!!"

Daria and Jane looked at each other. "Wearing a diaper on school grounds?" asked Daria.

"That's a paddling," said Jane.

Kevin and Brittany looked at each other as if their lives depended on it. "Ms. Li's office!!" they exclaimed, and departed the cafeteria with alacrity.

Daria and Jane both watched the swinging cafeteria doors for a while. Slowly, Daria sipped from her can of Ultra Cola. "I gotta give these up," she said. "I'm starting to see things."

"Stupid things?" said Jane.

"You got it." Daria put the cola down and began rummaging through her backpack. She finally found the papers she was looking for.

"Parental emancipation came through, huh?"

"Very funny," said Daria. "This is that assignment that I needed to turn in to Ms. Barch. Late, but completed."

"Well, you know how Ms. Barch feels about late assignments," said Jane. "Those are against the rules. And you know we can't disobey the rules," added Jane with some sarcasm.

"I don't really have any other choice. I'm not going to slide by with a 'bye'. If Ms. Li wants to run the school that way, fine. But I don't have to take part in it."

"Then I guess I flunk that math test due next period, huh?" said Jane.

"Math test?"

"I haven't studied. At all. My mind has sort of been distracted…by _other things_."

"Oh." The two stopped their walk. "Don't tell me you're going to take that 'bye'."

"Let me get this straight. We have Tiffany Blum-Deckler in one of our trailers, and you're worried about me squeaking by on a math test?"

"Can't I be worried about both?"

"You worry about everything," said Jane. "We had a chance to put a stop to this last year, but _someone_ decided to leave things just as they were."

"Hey, you decided too!"

"Listen…I can run the Legion, or I can pass math. I don't think I can do both."

"Can you make up the exam? Tell them you're sick?"

Jane sighed. "Sure. Why not? I'll just go home and rest. I'll probably understand Side-Angle-Side just as well asleep as awake." As Jane tried to figure out what she would tell her math teacher, she knew that she would not be going home at all – she'd be heading to the Legion Trailer Park to see Tiffany.

(la la LA la la)

His name was Lou Cypher. Or at least, that's what he called himself. He thought it was a really clever pun, so clever that his license plate read 'DARK 1".

Since he found the Crystal over a decade ago, Cypher had been John Dynell's "odd job" man. He had just received a call – go to a sleepy suburban down called Lawndale and put a stop to a kid's service organization called 'the Legion'. Why Mr. Dynell would want to stop the Legion was beyond him. He saw the commercials; he probably would have joined up with the Legion when he was a teen if it existed just to get out of the house.

But a job's a job. As Cypher's black Trans-Am found the Lawndale exit, he figured that this wouldn't be much of a problem.

Undoubtedly, Mr. Dynell figured that Cypher would probably go to the site and start cracking heads and generally terrorizing the place. However, Cypher had been watching 'the Sopranos'. He needed to think really smart, like that Tony guy that he admired so much.

Lou figured that rather than do any of the dirty work himself, he would start at the top of Lawndale's power structure, and get them to do the work for him, just by being his bad-ass nasty self. The local officials would take care of the Legion, he would get the credit for it and not have to dirty his own hands, which were not feeling that great and suffered in ways that no pain pill on earth could cure.

Maybe Dynell would give him Lawndale as a present. "The Devil's Own City". That would look great on a sign.

(la la LA la la)

With Tiffany recuperating, it had become a rule – the Legion would meet whenever and wherever it could, depending on how much hassle Helen Morgendorffer gave Daria and Quinn. Jane figured that meetings should be held on weekends. The Fashion Club would have dates, and that would keep things under Jane and Daria's control. For once, there was some advantage in not having a boyfriend.

Stacy stepped into Daria's trailer. "Hey!" she said, smiling and looking down at the same time.

"Hey." Jane was still unsure of talking to the hyper-emotional Stacy.

"Uh…I'll just sit over here and take notes. Unless you want me on the couch! Or something!"

"No…that's okay. You can sit at the big people's table." Stacy quickly moved her backpack onto the table and begin looking for her notebook.

Sandi and Quinn stepped in the front door, together. Each of them carried large white boxes. Jane figured they had gone shopping at Cashman's before they made it to the Quarry.

"So, where's Daria?" said Jane.

"Uh…Daria got held up. Mom, you know." Quinn's eyes didn't meet Jane's. Sandi nodded as if to acknowledge Jane's presence, but barely.

Jane didn't care for Daria not being there. Daria should have at least called.

"Okay," said Jane. "There are a few things I need to bring up before Daria gets here."

"Uh," said Sandi, "excuse me, but as the President of the Fashion Club, a local civic organization recognized by Lawndale High School, I must object to meetings being so informal."

"Huh?"

"If the Legion is to be successful, it must have a successful structure. Therefore, the first order of business is the reading of the order of old business," said Sandi, taking charge. "Stacy, you may proceed."

"Right! There was no Secretary of the Legion during the last informal meeting. Thus, no old business!"

"Thank you. We now proceed to new business."

"Okay," said Jane, "now, I need to – "

" – excuse me, Jane," said Sandi, all sweetness. "but before you proceed with your little **thing**, I would like to show everyone what's in the boxes that Quinn and I brought to this meeting of the Legion!"

Now Jane was curious. Sandi stepped over.

"The Legion's uniforms – if I must use that word – are nothing short of heinous. I have therefore come up with more suitable attire. Quinn, might I ask you for assistance?"

Quinn stood up and handed a box to Jane. "Jane, this is for you!"

Jane opened it. She saw what appeared to be her red set of scrubs. "This is just the stuff we always wear."

"_Au contraire_," said Sandi, using every bit of her high school French for effect, "I will have to make allowances for the fashion-impaired. First, Jane, if you'll notice that the neck is a square cut, which is more fashionable than a vee-cut. Second, you might notice the white turtleneck which is to be worn under the scrub with a small, fashionable, and cute miniature Legion logo on the right side of the neck, in contrast to the large unfashionable one on the left breast.

"Furthermore, these clothes are not of the 'one size fits all' variety that you and Quinn's cousin are so fond of. This clothing is fitted. Furthermore, I have maintained the primary color scheme that certain people were fond of, exchanging the orange color I was assigned for a much more fashionable burnt gold. Furthermore, your turtleneck is white, but not everyone has the same primary layer color. This provides us all-important color flexibility!"

"Okay, thank you Martha Stewart!" Jane had to get control of the meeting. "Now, as I was saying – "

"—Stacy, if you will hand out the agenda --!"

Stacy handed out canary-yellow pages of paper to everyone. Jane took a look at her paper.

"…call to order…old business…new business…vote on membership…assignment of Legion Media Specialist…public relations…." Jane looked concerned. "What the hell--?"

"In the future," said Sandi, "I would suggest that you look at the agenda more closely. Now, as I was saying, we might take up the topic of new business – with your permission, of course…."

(la la LA la la)

Cypher left the office of Mayor Mike Dunlap, the brother of ex-mayor Roy Dunlap. He had figured that Mike Dunlap would be a pushover, but boy was he wrong.

From Cypher's limited reading, he knew that the Dunlaps were Lawndale's political family. Almost every elected or appointed office in Lawndale had a Dunlap in charge of it. With Roy Dunlap under indictment for graft so blatant and so obvious that even the State had to wake up and take notice, the office fell to the head of the City Council, roly-poly Mike Dunlap.

Cypher expected the fat man to quake. He gave him his terms. If the Mayor played along, he'd get a $100,000 donation to his next mayoral campaign. All he had to do was to revoke the zoning permit that allowed the Legion to build an office tower in an industrial zone. Cypher didn't know (and didn't care) what kind of legal problems would ensue; the penalty for not playing along would be a horribly painful death.

The Mayor, however, had some balls. He ordered Cypher out of the office. Cypher was tempted to kill the man on the spot…but it would be too obvious who killed the bastard. Cypher wouldn't get farther with whoever replaced Dunlap, either. However, the fact that the Cypher could threaten someone and not be taking seriously made Cypher furious.

Before Cypher left Lawndale, he would wipe out the Legion's membership and take Mike Dunlap with him. Before the week had ended, everyone in town would know the name of the Dark Man who shook Lawndale to its core.

(la la LA la la)

Daria and Jane sat in Daria's room. Daria listened patiently.

"So that's why you weren't there," said Jane. "Thank God my parents aren't around to ask me to dust and vacuum. Trent and I breed dust bunnies for a living. So how did Quinn get out of it?"

"She didn't. We both have jobs around the house we're supposed to do. My job is to dust the living room and vacuum. I did it yesterday. When I got back, Mom told me it was as if I hadn't done anything at all. I look around, and the living room was filthy. I could write my name on the mantelpiece."

"So she made you stay and do the job?"

"Right," said Daria. "And I can't figure out how the living room got so dusty so fast. Although I'm starting to have my suspicions. So…how bad was it?"

"It was pretty bad." Jane sighed, and put her head in her hands, not to cry in defeat, but to rest the muscles of her face in exhaustion.

"So I'm not there at the meeting. Sandi and Quinn are. And they outvote you on new uniforms for the Legion, they make Tiffany a member, and they bring in Sandi's mom as a new Legion adviser. I don't see why you just didn't tell them to go to hell."

"I got close to it," said Jane. "But then they went on about how the Legion is not a dictatorship. I could have told them where to go, but…well, dammit! I don't want to be a dictator!"

"Right. So Sandi gets to be the dictator. If Sandi tries to run this group, I'm going to tell it where it can go and how fast it can get there. I'm surprised they left you as leader at all."

"I got lucky. Sandi wanted a vote of acclimation that she should be the leader." Jane stood up, now energized. "I asked them how they could vote me out if all of the members weren't there. Stacy then said there was no procedure for voting me out. Sandi told Stacy that there was no procedure for voting me in, either."

"I don't recall Russell Stark asking for a vote."

"Well, Sandi's asking for a vote. I mean…." Jane looked frustrated. "I mean, it wasn't like they took over or anything. Everything they wanted to do made some sense!"

"Except for the part about getting rid of you and choosing Sandi. And Sandi's mom."

Daria thought of Jane and Daria forming their own Legion – but that would just leave the Griffins in charge of everything.

"So Sandi said that as soon as you show up again, they'll hold a final election. And it's three against two…and I lose."

The two sat silently for a few seconds. "I don't understand it at all," said Daria. "How did you let this happen?"

"You've never had to deal with them all by yourself. It was like…an accessory-coordinated, cute, high school lynch mob! Sandi took over with her agenda and it was like I wasn't even there! I mean…."

Jane sighed. "I'm trying to make this thing happen the way Stark wanted it to! And think, Daria, he said we were the wave of the future. Or something. Suppose I had told Sandi to go to hell and I'll just run it my way! I become the Legion dictator! I don't think that's what Stark would have wanted!"

"So instead, you're going to let Quinn and her vacuous friends run everything into the ground."

"Maybe!" Jane shot Daria an angry look. "You could have done more to help, you know!"

"How? I was downstairs vacuuming! There was no way for me to get there!"

"Sure. You haven't even told your mom anything yet. And I'm trying to take care of Tiffany and I'm trying to make sense out of what we're supposed to do and I can't talk to Dawn Hall because she's pissed off and Trent can't do much more than help out and when I expect backup from you, all I hear is 'we can't take byes in class' and 'we have to worry about this and that', but you never have any solutions for anything! I feel like we're in a boat and every time I take the paddle, someone in the boat's paddling against me! Most of the time it's Quinn and her friends…but a lot of times, I think that's it's you, too."

"Oh."

Daria felt very guilty. "Look…I'll tell Mom. I will. I swear."

"Maybe it's too late for that. Maybe if you tell Helen, she'll put a stop to the Legion."

"No she won't. I won't let her. I'll threaten to run away again."

"Right. Then the police will put a stop to it. Or you'll freak out and get sick and…die."

The two were silent for a while. Daria sat up. "Hey. There was no procedure for voting you out, right."

"That's what they said. So they voted to wait until you got there and then they would figure out something. And sooner or later, you have to show up."

"Then we'll stall them until we come up with a plan."

"Yeah? Well, we need to come up with a plan by tomorrow at noon."

"Why's that," said Daria.

"Because Linda Griffin's recommendation was that we let the mayor give us the key to the city tomorrow. She's already scheduled it with Ms. Li."

"Great. Well…in that case, get me some Ultra Cola. It's time for me to pull an all-nighter again. Sandi Griffin's going to get all the rules that she can handle."


	21. 3:5 The Memorable Sound

It was early in the morning on Saturday. Ten A. M., which was too early in Daria's eyes. Jane had caught a ride with Trent to City Hall, which left Daria and Quinn to the mercy of their father. Jake desperately searched for a way to make conversation. Unfortunately, the only thing he could think of was the fact that Daria had recently failed a driver's test.

"Gee kiddo," said Jake, trying to console Daria. "Too bad you have to wait until next month! Although, when you get to be eighteen, I guess driving somewhere isn't going to be a problem, not with all that Quest money! Of course, there is always hitchhiking…there was always something free about hitchhiking…just letting your freak flag fly…!"

"Dad," asked Quinn, "what's a 'freak flag'?"

Jake blushed. "Uh…never mind!" He looked in the back seat. "Kiddo…did you sleep well last night?"

Daria looked flattened. "No. But I chalk it all up to the excitement of meeting the mayor of Lawndale in person." She yawned, loudly.

"Did you bring a speech?" Quinn looked at the papers Daria held tightly in her hand. "Because I think it has to be cleared by the Media Advisor!"

"Media Advisor!" squawked Jake, unhappily. "I'm an advisor! I can be an advisor!"

"You're a consultant," muttered Daria.

"Consultant's the same thing, dammit!"

"You can take that up with Linda Griffin," said Daria. "She shoved her way in."

Jake gritted his teeth and shivered. "Evil….ev-illllll…!"

(la la LA la la)

The five members of the Legion met, in uniform, inside the City Hall Building. It was Saturday, and local functions of city government had been shifted to the Annex. They had the place all to themselves on a slow Saturday.

Linda Griffin met the five with a smile on her face. "At 12 noon sharp, we meet the mayor, who gives us the key to the city. Local news will be there, and the meeting has made the front page, so I want everyone to look sharp!"

"I'll try," said Daria. She waited a few seconds, then twitched a muscle in her face. "How's that?"

"Terrible," said Linda Griffin. "You look like you haven't slept all night!"

"I can only congratulate you on your perceptivity."

"Fellow Legionnaires," said Sandi, "after this necessary social function, I would like to call a meeting of the Legion."

"Concerning what?" said Jane.

"The future, and the leadership of the Legion, per the discussion of the last meeting," said Sandi. Linda Griffin could barely hold back a smile.

Daria raised a hand. Sandi reluctantly acknowledged her. "Yes…uh…Daria?"

"Sandi, from my limited understanding of the last meeting, it was decided that there was no procedure for voting members out **or** in. There wasn't a procedure for naming a president, or appointing a Legion Media Advisor, or anything. From my limited understanding of Robert's Rules of Order, all of these decisions must be considered as 'ad hoc' decisions."

"Right," said Sandi, "and the purpose of this meeting is to…uh…." She looked to her mother for help.

Quinn interrupted. "I think the purpose of this meeting is to 'un-ad-hoc' them!"

"Fine," said Daria. "I would like to propose a working document for a Legion Constitution." With that, she handed over the typewritten pages.

Before Sandi could even read the header, Linda Griffin rudely snatched them out of Sandi's hands. "I'll take a look at those!" She began to read. "_The Legion shall be a youth organization dedicated to…._" Quickly, she skimmed through the pages. "Did your mother help you with this, Daria?"

"No. It's a solo effort. Just one lone Legionnaire, trying to be helpful."

_My ass_, thought Linda Griffin. "I think I'll read through this…just to be safe-uh, I mean, to be sure that it holds water!"

"But Mo-omm!!" cried Sandi.

"We can vote on this later…after I've read it, Alexandra! Then, we can hold the elections." Linda smiled. "I'm just trying to be helpful!" Sandi did not look in the least amused.

"Now, ladies, it's make up time! You'll all have to look your best for the camera!"

Tiffany slightly slumped in her chair. Jane whispered, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," said Tiffany, "just a little dizzy. I can make it." Tiffany's pallor matched the color of her all-white uniform.

"We'll do Jane and Daria first. Then Tiffany, Quinn, and Sandi last," said Linda. "Jane, are you ready?"

Jane reached into her pocket, and pulled out a mirror, and her crimson red lipstick. "Yep."

"I hope you have plans for more than that!"

"Not really," said Jane. "I'm still Interim President of the Legion. And my style stays."

"All right, then it's Daria's turn. Daria, time to get made up!"

"Let me help!" squealed Quinn. "I want to help! A make-over at last!"

"Warden, you're not sending me to the chair," said Daria, indicating the make-up chair. "My style stays. No make up."

"Daria, don't be unreasonable. This is television. You have to look your best for television. You're going to need a little pancake make up at least!"

"No."

"Stop being cross Daria, and get in that chair!" Linda Griffin expected to be obeyed when she gave a command.

"No! You're not my mother!"

Linda glared at Daria, as if she were a rebellious child. "Fine! Then you'll sit in the back, far away from the cameras! Is that what you want, Daria?"

"That's what I _prefer_."

Linda was left non-plussed. With no snappy comeback, she ordered Tiffany into the make-up chair.

Jane looked at Daria. "Oh boy, this is going to be fun. Leaving the Legion might not be such a bad idea after all."

"_Now_ you tell me. After I spent all night writing that Constitution."

"Your Mom didn't help you?"

"No. I wrote two copies. One with a strong leader, if I think you can win. One with a weak leader if I think Sandi will win. Unfortunately…I brought the strong leader one as a prop. And that's the one Sandi's mom has."

"Great."

"I replaced 'Fuehrer' with 'Leader', if that makes you happy."

"Well, this is going to be the worst day of my life," said Jane.

(la la LA la la)

Linda Griffin herded the Legionnaires outside. At the last minute, Linda sprung her plan into action.

Jane stood up front at the cameraman's mark. The cameraman coughed. "I'm getting a lot of glare from her face. Isn't she wearing make-up? This is sunlight, you know?"

"She decided she didn't want to wear any," said Linda Griffin. Griffin smiled. "Jane, honey, maybe we should let one of the more…_photogenic_ girls take the key from the mayor!"

Jane looked at Linda Griffin as if the insult meant nothing. "Fine with me."

Quinn was about to step forward when Linda called out, "Sandi! Please come to the mark, sweetheart! Darling, that gold top looks fantastic!"

Petulantly, Quinn sat down between Daria and Tiffany as Sandi stood up. Daria whispered, "thank God we have someone photogenic. Today would be a disaster otherwise."

"Oh shut up," pouted Quinn.

Mayor Mike Dunlap walked over to the camera setup, finding Linda Griffin, the only other adult other than the cameraman. "Hello, I'm Mike Dunlap!"

"Linda Griffin, Mister Mayor. I'm the Media Advisor to the Legion!"

"Great! And I see that you have the camera here, too! It's great to have a chance to get Lawndale in the local news, and it's great to have the opportunity to help the Legion."

Linda smiled.

"Heh…did you know that in my five months as mayor, I've never given a key to anyone. My first time. Hope I don't drop the key!"

Linda laughed, perhaps a bit more than necessary. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Mayor Dunlap, the girls sitting are Jane Lane, Daria Morgendorffer, Quinn Morgendorffer, and Tiffany Blum-Deckler. The girl standing is my daughter, Sandi Griffin."

"They all look very nice. And I'm sure they're all great teens."

"You'll stand here, Mister Mayor, and my daughter will accept the key in the name of the Legion."

"Very good. Do I look okay?"

"You look okay." Linda didn't care as long as Sandi looked better than all of them.

The cameraman signaled to the others. "On my mark, we'll do our first take. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

Another technician adjusted brilliant side lights. Daria was surprised by how incredibly bright they were. Everything was immediately cast in harsh artificial light, even in daylight.

"On my signal…three…two…one." The man cued to Linda Griffin to start speaking.

"This is Linda Griffin, in a special report for the Legion News Service! The Legion is only a few weeks old, and already, Lawndale's civic leaders are recognizing the Legion for its philanthropic service as Mayor Mike Dunlap prepares to give the Legion an honorary key to the City of Lawndale."

"Young teens of Lawndale," said the mayor, remembering his speech. "It is with great honor that I give the founding members of the Legion the key to the city of – "

(la la LA la la)

Sandi heard the mayor gasp something instead of Lawndale. She would always remember the sound she heard for the rest of her life.

**kkkkeeeeeeeeeee-RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

She knew she had heard the sound after the man stopped speaking. She looked at Dunlap, who had a red spot over his right breast.

There was another

**kkkkeeeeeeeeeee-RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

And another spot. Bloody, bloody, bloodily bloodily. Spots dripped to the pavement.

Dunlap slumped down to the ground, dropping the key, a bloody punctured mess.

A wave of panic struck the assembled Legionnaires as they finally realized what was happening. Their first instinct was to duck and run, even Linda and the cameramen.

Everyone, Jane, Daria, Quinn dived for cover. Tiffany immediately dematerialized.

Sandi saw the pathetic look in Mike Dunlap's eyes as his life was ebbing out of him. She was filled with outrage. Looking back, it was the stupidest thing, she would later tell herself. But she was _embarrassed_…Sandi felt she looked like a scared fool! As if she was just going to stand there and let some creep take away her moment of triumph!

Immediately, Sandi _acted_.

Two ghostly forms of Sandi separated from her body and solidified. Sandi 2 and Sandi 3 grabbed Dunlap and pulled him out of the area as Sandi 1 began to look for some assistance. She screamed, "Help!! Someone, help!!"

Jane snapped out of it. She knew what was going on. She stood up and extended a field outwards.

**kkkkeeeeeeeeeee-RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

went the sound as Jane felt a small wave of pressure countering her own. A bullet was trapped in Jane's field.

"Over there!" shouted Sandi 1. "He's behind that car!!"

Jane had to make a decision. The City Hall grounds were sparsely populated. It was a weekend. No one cared what went on in a sleepy town in Lawndale. However, she was being filmed, and chasing this bastard would blow her cover in a humongous way.

_Last time we kept our cover, and an asshole got away. Not again. Fuck it._

"Daria! Find this guy if he gets away!" Jane levitated herself in the air, and began to fly in the assailant's direction, uneasily.

The cameraman followed Jane with the camera as she flew overhead. He didn't know what was happening, but he suspected that this might be the story of a lifetime.

(la la LA la la)

Lou Cypher figured it was time to flee. He figured two shots for the mayor, and one for any other Legionnaire stupid enough to get in his way. Jane Lane might have become the first notch on his gun, if she had acted a little slower.

He dropped the rifle. Reaching into the folds of his overcoat, he pulled out what appeared to be a handgun.

Covering the distance quickly (if clumsily), Jane found herself overhead of Cypher. "All right, creep, go ahead and try it!"

Cypher took careful aim. Chest shot.

BANG

Jane figured the magnetic field would protect her.

It didn't.

Jane immediately felt a stinging sensation in her chest, as if a hammer had knocked the air out of her. Her magnetic field dissipated, and with that, Jane began to tumble out of the sky, falling from eighteen feet right to the cold hard asphalt.

Daria and Quinn ran behind them, with Sandi 1 trailing in the distance. She watched Jane fold over as if she had the bends, and then watched her uninterrupted fall.

"JANE!!"

Daria reached out with her mind. She was going to find out who the hell this guy was and who sent him!

She reached…reached…and….and….

(……………………………….)

…nothing!

"Daria!" screamed Quinn. "Daria!"

Daria heard Quinn loud and clear.

**::- DUCK!!! -:: **

Daria almost tripped over trying to reach the ground. Above her head she could hear a sharp KRAK! and the smell of burning ozone.

Quinn fired a lightning bolt at Cypher. Quinn didn't want to blow the guy into pieces, but she figured this would be enough to stun him.

The force of the blow knocked Cypher off of his feet. She could see Cypher shaking his left hand rapidly, and the hem of his overcoat starting to smoke.

However, the electricity did not seem to impair Cypher at all after the initial shock She could see the arcs of electricity crawling between Cypher's teeth and behind his eyes. He glared at her with cold blue-dead eyes, and begin to walk forward, towards her.

Sandi 1 rushed forward. "Get out of here!!" she screamed at Cypher.

Cypher did not figure on a FOURTH Legionnaire. There was no telling what this one could do, and he figured that he'd rather not fight off four Legionnaires and scores of policemen. Better to fight instead on his own terms. He ran. He had sent the Mayor a message, and he could save the Legion for later. Cypher had no intention of leaving Lawndale without a bevy of fresh graves sporting new tombstones. He'd find his Black Beauty Trans down the street and drive off.

Sandi 1 turned around. Quinn and Daria were tending to Jane.

"Jane!" shouted Daria. "Jane! Say something!!"

The three girls heard a mumble. "What the hell…did he hit me with…?" said Jane.

"Don't move! You might have broken bones!" said Daria.

"Well…I don't feel like it…." Jane slowly stood up. "Although I feel like someone beat me up. Damn, that stings, whatever he hit me with." She dusted off her red togs as if nothing had happened, and staggered forward uneasily. Jane didn't appear to be bleeding, but was injured in some other way.

"We'd better check it out," said Daria. "Let's get you to the hospital!"

The three girls tended to Jane. At City Hall, two of the Sandis and Linda Griffin tended to the Mayor who was still hanging on to life as sirens could finally be heard. Tiffany Blum-Deckler waited for Daria to come back and tell her how to rematerialize herself. And Simon Muncy, a cameraman, hoped that the satellite feed had sent the story of the millennium to his editors. He just needed to make one phone call first….


	22. 3:6 Censorship

**Cedars of Lawndale Hospital **

"Hey. I'm Jane Lane."

"And I'm Jane Lane's friend!" said Quinn.

Jane raised an eyebrow as she sat on the bed in the ER. "_You are_?" she asked Quinn. However, it was no use as Quinn's moonstruck eyes were on the handsome ER doctor.

"Uh…okay." The young man had been hit on before. "I'm Doctor Mirra. Do you care if I have a look?"

"I thought you'd never ask," smiled Jane. Quinn helped Jane get the top layer of the uniform off and pull the white turtleneck over Jane's head.

"Eap! Jane, what happened to you?" Quinn pointed at Jane's chest.

"They're called 'breasts', Quinn. Nice of you to notice them and I – OWWW!!"

Mirra palpated Jane's chest. Jane had a large blue bruise over her sternum, not solid blue, but a collection of blue dots, concentrated over her chest and more diffuse the further one moved from her sternum. Mirra cautiously moved Jane's bra cup to the side, wishing to preserve her modesty. Sure enough, Jane's breasts, covered by her bra, were bruised as well, indicating that the blue covering was not some sort of spray.

"You've sustained a very nasty, diffuse hematoma," said Dr. Mirra. "Do you have any idea as to how you got it?"

"Yeah. I was shot. With something. I thought it was a bullet!."

"A bullet would have left a nice large entry wound. I'm going to do a chest X-Ray, Jane." Mirra put his cold stethoscope to Jane's back. "I want you to breathe."

Jane did so. Quinn gathered up Jane's clothes, and in so doing, heard a small sound, like a tiny –pak!- of something striking the ground. She looked about, then continued her work in turning Jane's turtleneck right side in. Something fell out and hit the floor.

"Hey! I think this is it!" Jane and Dr. Mirra looked as Quinn held up what appeared to be a small plastic pellet, the size of the type of pellets used to load shotguns….

(la la LA la la)

"Sandi, I want you out of here and I want you away from these people!" said Linda, in the waiting room, "you could get killed. I don't know what your friends are involved in but it sounds very very dangerous!"

"But Mo-oom!!" whined Sandi. "I want to be in the Legion!"

"You can be in the Fashion Club!"

"The Legion is, like, the Fashion Club only ten times more cool! You can't make me quit!"

"I can _so_ make you quit, Alexandra Jeanne Griffin!"

"Why should I quit?"

"Sandi, you are in a lot of danger. You can be killed!"

"And why should that make a difference? Do you, like, think the police could protect me or something? From some maniac? Quinn throws lightning bolts! Daria can read minds! Jane can like, lift cars and stuff! If they can't protect me Mom – then I can't be protected at all!!"

"And what about us? What about Sam and Chris? What about your father and me? What if that crazy man drove up to our house? What would we do?"

"If I have the Legion, Mom, that's not going to happen! They have trailers and everything! I can live _–with–_ the Legion! The Legion is the safest place I'm ever going to be! And they're…!" _And they're my friends, and I don't want to be without them._

"How could you do that? Move in? That's a crazy idea!"

"Yes, Mom! I could move in! I could take all of my things and move in! Sam and Chris hate being in the same room anyway! It would be easier all around! Besides, I'm like, a public figure! And the Legion is really, really tough! I would be safer with them."

Silence.

"Mom, please don't take the Legion away from me. What could y—what could the police do for me that they can't do?"

Linda sat down. "Honey, honey…."

"Mom…!"

"Honey…_you're right_." Linda sighed. "You are right, Sandi. The Legion can protect you. But I can't." She looked down. "You should move in with them. You'll be much safer there."

"You mean…_you're letting me go_?"

"Yes, Sandi. You should stay with the Legion. God knows I don't like it…but…I have to make do with what I have. I…can't do this alone anymore…."

In Linda's weakest, most exhausted moment, Sandi ran over to her mother and hugged her. Sandi was thinking that her dreams were coming true. Whereas for Linda, it seemed only the briefest respite after the horrible realization that Sandi's abilities might be what brought nothing but disaster to Linda Griffin's family, instead of the triumph that Linda foolishly hoped they would be.

(la la LA la la)

Daria and Tiffany sat in a waiting room together.

"But…I don't get it," said Tiffany. "You're not with your frrrrrriend…Jane…."

"I had to get you back in one piece. And I think I got you all back." _Except for your brain, which is still missing. _

"Thanks. Bai Zhan said that yooou were the person I should talk to. You can always bring me back."

"Uh…sure." Daria was not entirely sure that Bai Zhan was not a figment of Tiffany's imagination. "So…you've not seen Bai Zhan again?"

"He watches us. With all the ghostly people."

"That is a damn weird story. I have to learn more about this Bai Zhan, and why he finds me so interesting. The last thing I need is a ghostly Peeping Tom. So why do I always have to be the one to tell you to come back? You should just come back on your own."

Tiffany looked sad. "Well…I don't know why. You're the only one who can do it right."

"And if I told you to stand on your head, you would do that, too?"

"Yoooou haven't asked meeee."

Daria smiled. ** -- Stand on your head, Tiffany! ******

Tiffany immediately stood up and bent over, putting her hands to the ground. She tried to stand on her head, but had no balance and flipped over onto her back with a loud thud.

"Owwww….why did you do that?"

"I didn't!" said Daria. "You don't have to do whatever I tell you to do!"

"But…I couldn't help it!"

"Really?" Daria was confused. ** -- Pick your nose! -- **

Immediately, Tiffany began excavating her left nostril. "Ewwwww!" said Daria. "How gross!!"

Tiffany immediately took her hands away from her nose. She looked very angry. "That is soooo not cool!" Her eyes turned darker. "Don't make me slap you!"

"Hey!" said Daria. "I didn't…that is…."

_Oh….shit. _

(la la LA la la)

Carl Dunlap waited in Mayor Dunlap's room in the ICU. Normally, no one was allowed in an ICU during normal nursing hours…but Carl Dunlap was Carl Dunlap. **That** Carl Dunlap.

"Mikey, what the fuck happened to you? You look like shit."

Mayor Mike Dunlap muttered under a morphine haze. "Well…bullets will do that to you, little bro."

"Roy is major league pissed. Do you know who did this to you?"

Mike thought about it. The morphine didn't quite kill the pain of the chest tube. "Some guy…came to the mayor's office…began threatening me…said that if I didn't get rid of the Legion…I'd get hurt."

"And did you call the police to arrest his ass?"

"I figured he was just a nut. One of those crank jobs like Tyler Thurmon, who kept telling us that he have the city charter revoked. You know, mentally ill."

"Mike, Tyler Thurmon is a sixty year old drunk lawyer and he's made the same threat for twenty years. When some stranger that you don't know starts making threats, you take them seriously." Carl never figured how Mike got to be mayor. Mike was the middle brother, and Carl was the youngest. That had to be the only reason.

"Too late now. Horse is out of the barn."

"Tell me about it. I've got the police looking in every hotel in Lawndale. So why does this guy hate the Legion?"

"Why should I know? Maybe we need to ask them."

Mike sank back down into his pillow. Carl wasn't there when it all happened. The police weren't there, either. They hadn't seen what he had seen. And after the show the Legion had put on today, Mayor Mike Dunlap had a pretty good idea as to why the Legion was so hated.

(la la LA la la)

Daria walked down the stairs to the ER, with Tiffany following behind her. Tiffany might have slapped her, but…

…_but you would have told her not to slap you, and she would have obeyed you. I think Tiffany will do whatever I tell her to do. And maybe, other people will, too. _

Daria didn't think that Tiffany would give up the secret. Tiffany had fixated on Daria, somehow, since Tiffany claimed to see some guy called Bai Zhan. Daria had to figure out if this Bai Zhan guy was real, or not! Maybe he had some other information he could tell the Legion.

_Too many things to worry about…too many items on my calendar…. _

Sandi, Quinn, and Jane were waiting for Daria and Tiffany. "Well," said Daria, "your phone works. What's the prognosis?"

"Bad bruise," said Jane. "No broken bones, no punctured lungs. Just my tits burning like hell."

"I think it was buckshot!" said Quinn. "Look!" The five gathered around the two small pellets Quinn found.

"Plastic," said Daria. "And non-magnetic. That's why you couldn't stop it."

"Great," said Jane. "So now this guy can just blast me whenever he feels like it. I do **not** feel safe."

"I hit him with a lightning blast and I didn't even hurt him," said Quinn.

"And I couldn't read his mind," said Daria. "That makes the third person whose mind I can't read. And I'm beginning to suspect that if I can't read his mind, that he has some kind of power."

"So whooooo is he?" asked Tiffany, not unlike an owl.

"I don't know," said Daria. "I suspect that the police have an APB out on him."

"Why did he try to kill the mayor?" said Quinn.

"Well, God knows I love a mystery," said Daria, "but it's none of our damn business. Why don't we leave the mayor hooked up to his nice morphine pump and just go home?

Maybe when he wakes up, it will have all been a dream."

A policeman walked towards the Legionnaires. "Excuse me…which one of you is…the…head of this little club?"

Sandi and Jane exchanged glances. Jane finally stepped forward. "That would be me."

"Mayor Dunlap wants to see all of you in his ICU. He has a few questions for you."

The five girls looked uneasy. "Okay," said Jane. "We'll see him."

The cell phone hanging from Daria's white canvas/elastic belt began to ring. "That's not you, is it Jane?"

"Nothing up my sleeve," said Jane.

"Hello?" said Daria, answering her blue phone. "Oh…hi Mom. Uh…we're all at Cedars of Lawndale….yes…about the Mayor…I should have called, I'm sorry….okay….bye."

"Great," said Daria. "Mom is on her way."

"Hold down the fort and keep Hurricane Helen from destroying the hospital." Jane staggered forward. "Fashion Club, march!"

(la la LA la la)

Jane, Tiffany, and Sandi assembled about the Mayor's bed.

"I want to thank you," said Mike Dunlap. "You three saved my life."

"Uh…no problem," said Jane. "Glad to help."

"And you girls," moaned Dunlap, "you're…not…what you seem to be…!

Jane couldn't think of what to say. "Nice of you to notice."

Dunlap seemed to collapse into his pillow. "So…how much trouble are you in?"

"Listen", said Jane, "what exactly did he tell you? Did he give you hints as to who he was? And who sent him?"

"Our conversation, Ms. Lane, was short. He said that I was to make sure that the building at the quarry stopped. He offered me a lot of money if that happened. And if it didn't, he said that I would suffer, that the Legion would suffer, and that the rest of Lawndale would suffer."

"In that order?" asked Quinn.

"Yeah," said Dunlap, "I think so. Listen…I have a question…."

"Okay?" asked Jane.

"How…_good_ are you? I mean…at what you do?"

There was some silence. Quinn finally said, "Well, it's not like we get a lot of practice."

"My bet," mumbled Dunlap, "is that he's not going to tangle with you. He's going to finish me off. Then he'll work on the next mayor, until you decide to leave town."

"Like…couldn't you just resign?" asked Sandi.

"Then he goes after your replacement," said Jane. "Shit."

"Well," said Tiffany, "it's not like he would attack a hospital…would he…?"

Jane looked at the other three members of the Fashion Club. It took no mind reading powers to discern Jane's answer.

(la la LA la la)

"Honey!" Helen grabbed Daria in a bearhug. "Are you all right?"

"Sure. We happened to be far enough away from the action. The only one who was in danger was Sandi."

"What kind of crazy people in the world are there these days? I just hope," said Helen, "that you're not traumatized! Although if there was a reason I could think of for giving up the Legion, this would be it."

"Okay."

**::- I am so glad that you are alive, Daria. I love you more than you could ever imagine. -:: **

Daria gulped, and turned off her mind reading power. She was waiting for Helen to drop the shoe, to tell Daria that the jig was up and that it was time for Quinn and Daria to go home. She did not expect Helen to reveal how she felt about her daughter in her thoughts. It was like an arrow going through herDaria's heart.

"Uh…Mom…." Daria mumbled. "iloveyoutoo".

"Huh?" said Helen.

"Nothing," said Daria. "So…we don't have to leave the Legion?"

"Well, why would you? I think that anything that would get you and Quinn involved in helping the community would be wonderful."

"And there was nothing in the news? About floating cars? Or lightning throwing redheads?"

"Why Daria, what are you talking about?"

(la la LA la la)

**Hours earlier **

Anthony Gilbert watched the tape of Jane floating through the air. He saw it all, saw the red-clad teen face off against the unknown assailant. Another girl in blue ducked as a girl wearing pink zapped the man with some kind of weapon.

It almost looked like it came from Hollywood.

"Well, Jason," he told his reporter, "you did really great work. Really, really great work."

"If you think that was great film, you should have been there on site. You could smell fire in the air. But I mean…how are you going to put it together for the five o'clock?"

"No one else was there, so we have the exclusive. Few witnesses, from what you're telling me. We're going to make this our lead story. We'll run ten minutes of the film unedited. Then we'll cut to you with five minutes of explanation. It will knock every single other story off the newscast, except for weather and sports. The _second_ we wrap up the initial, I want you to make calls to Quest Corporation, I want you to find that Griffin girl, everything. I want to lead again at the six with a live broadcast call. The other affiliates will try to scoop us, but I want to be one step ahead of them. Got it?"

"Got it." The young man walked out, very happy.

Gilbert received an intercom buzz. "Mr. Gilbert, you have a visitor."

"I need to get ready for broadcast. I really don't have the time."

"This man is here on Brendon Stange's request." Brendon Stange was the owner of WBFF.

"Let him in, then." Stange had never interfered with hiring, or running the network, or anything. He left that to his producer. Why now, of all times?

The visitor strode as if to knock down the door with his shoulders. "Hello," he smiled. "My name is John Dynell. We need to talk."


	23. 3:7 Bedtime

Neither Helen Morgendorffer nor Linda Griffin could figure out why the Legion wanted to stay at the hospital overnight on Saturday night. Both women attempted to convince their daughters that there was no point in it. However, Daria and Sandi, although seemingly not alike, gave the exact same excuse to remain there.

"Like, how did it go?" asked Sandi.

"It went great," said Quinn. "Daria told Mom that since we were at the hospital, we could do volunteer work and possibly cheer up patients!"

"That was my idea, too! Cool. That keeps us all together. I'd hate to think that some of us would be split up. Tiffany's still in the waiting room. So…where did Daria and Jane go?"

(la la LA la la)

"This is highly irregular," said the hospital's administrator, who was called in from a weekend with his family. "You're transferring the Mayor."

"Yes. We're transferring him upstate. For his safety. There might be an assassination attempt," said Daria.

He turned to the supposedly responsible adult. "And you're going to let yourself be taken there by five teenage girls?"

"Listen, Mr. Houghton," said the Mayor. "I'm prepared to sign out of this hospital AMA if I have to. I'm not going to let Cedars of Lawndale become a free-fire zone."

"You still need IV fluid. You have two drains in your body and a chest tube! You need at minimum round-the-clock nursing care, and an ambulance to take you there."

"No ambulance. The Legion is going to take me!"

"Then you'll sign out AMA to relieve Cedars of Lawndale of liability. I'm contacting our lawyer and your physician."

"Make the calls."

"And we can't let you have a morphine pump!"

"I said I want out. **Now.** As fast as possible. Ms. Lane, if they give you any trouble…."

"Uh…sir…," mumbled Jane, "I think I am going to need the hospital bed."

Houghton turned red. "You can't have it. You'll have to – "

Suddenly, without finishing his sentence, Joe Houghton immediately turned on his heels and walked away.

"What the hell -- ?" asked Jane.

"Never mind," said Daria. "just be glad he's gone." _He'll be driving right home, unless that command I just gave him wears off. Maybe he'll write it off to temporary insanity._

"Good. Cover him up with as many blankets as we can get," said Jane, "Tiffany, tell the nurses that Mayor Dunlap is leaving ICU. And ask if they have any empty beds…because we might be dropping by for a long stay sometime."

(la la LA la la)

The nurses disconnected Dunlap's IV tubing, leaving the catheters in his arm for future IV access. The Mayor was rolled out to the freight elevator, his chest tube drainage bag and urinary catheter bag hidden under blankets.

"We've got it. Thanks." Tiffany and Jane pushed the hospital bed into the elevator and stood back as Daria pushed the button.

"This elevator takes us right to the basement," said Daria. "The nurse said this is how they get the deceased to the funeral wagon without anyone noticing."

"Young ladies," mumbled Dunlap, "I hope this plan of yours will work."

"I think it will keep the hospital safe," said Jane. "It might not keep _us_ safe though."

"I'm tired of the weirdness," said Daria. "I don't want to spend the next five months looking for that bastard. I'd rather him come to me."

"I wouldn't," said Tiffany.

As the elevator doors opened, the three girls pushed Dunlap through the deserted basement and out an exit door. Quinn and Sandi's three selves were waiting for him.

"So, do you need our help?" asked Sandi 2.

"Cover him up with blankets. Tuck as many of them into the bed as you can. Tie the blankets to the rails if you have to. I don't want him moving around," said Jane. Seven Legionnaires went to work, if one counted the three Sandis working alongside.

"I thought you said this would be a quick trip," said Dunlap.

"It will," said Jane, as the metal hospital bed began to slowly levitate, "it will."

(la la LA la la)

Lou Cypher pulled up near the hospital, alongside a side street.

He was very surprised to see that there weren't any cop cars there. He wondered if it was an attempt to somehow sucker him in for an ambush. The lack of cop cars filled him with unexpected dread.

The plan was to go in armed. All of the bullets on earth couldn't stop him, and the police would be too frightened of hurting the sick to fire inside the hospital. He'd interrogate someone, figure out where the Mayor was, and blow him to bits, along with any frightened Legionnaires he bumped into.

They wouldn't dare use their powers in a hospital. But his powers weren't for show. Advantage: Cypher.

He picked up a new leather raincoat and had fun that morning outfitting it in a way that would have made Keanu Reeves in _The Matrix_ proud. Plastic body armor was under his long slacks, and he was armed with six kinds of death going in. Even his hat was armor-plated. If there was any attempt to surprise him going in, there would be another think coming.

Instead, Cypher experienced the dread of not being challenged. No cops. A bored security guy. No milling masses. No barricades.

No nothing.

Cypher, in his best Walking Dude impersonation, walked over to reception. "I would like to see Mike Dunlap, please."

The receptionist smiled. "That's room 701. Intensive Care. But he's – "

Cypher walked to the elevator, not bothering to hear the rest.

(la la LA la la)

Cypher made his way to the ICU:

_ICU Visting Hours_

_10-10:30 AM_

_10-10:30 PM_

_Family Members Only_

It was 1:40 PM. The halls were not set up with machine gun wielding, maniacal cops. Something was very, very wrong. Were they undercover? Was someone packing heat?

Nurse with a shiv in her stocking?

Cypher strode into the ICU. A desk, manned by nurses, floated in the middle of the floor, a fort barricaded by nurses and surrounded by the dying. He walked up to a nurse on the floor.

"My name is Lou Cypher. I want to see the mayor."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cypher, but the mayor isn't in his room!"

Cypher realized he had been had. He rushed to Room 701.

EMPTY!!

Cypher cursed under his breath. Someone was going to die for this. Maybe the nurse who told him the bad news, first.

The nurse followed him into the empty room. "Mr. Cypher…I think someone left you a message. It was for 'someone in black'."

The angry Cypher was handed an envelope marked, "To Whom It May Concern". Cypher opened it.

In Jane Lane's handwriting, it read,

_Hey ASSHOLE!!_

_It looks like we've got what you want. We've got the mayor and we're at Legion Tower. It doesn't matter who you kill now since as long as we have the Mayor…we run the city. _

_And Legion Tower will be going up despite anything you can do to stop it._

_If someone sent you, they're going to be really pissed off that you blew it. So you know where to find us. We're not going anywhere! You can either cause trouble, and wait for us to pound you into spaghetti sauce, and fight off the cops at the same time, or you can take us on at the Quarry – alone -- and we can finish this. We won't have cops._

_If you can kill us, you get the mayor too and you win. If you don't kill us…you're screwed._

_We'll be waiting._

_The LEGION_

(la la LA la la)

"So…do you think he'll show up?" said Jane.

"I helped you with the letter, didn't I?" said Daria. "I think he will."

"I don't know. If I were him…I mean…there's Trent…and your Mom, and your Dad, and…."

"Don't think about that!" said Daria. "Besides…if this guy was really psycho enough to go after our parents, or our family…what would you do?"

Jane turned grim. "I would kill him. Kill him dead."

"Exactly. If he hurt anyone we loved, that would make it no holds barred. He doesn't want to face down five psychos. We'd murder anyone who did that. Besides…I have my own theory…about things."

"What?"

"Our show yesterday didn't make the news. As far as Lawndale and the rest of the world knows, the mayor was shot and the Legion was just in the way, with our thumbs up our butts. Yet we knew there was a camera there. And my Mom didn't hear about you or Quinn, or Sandi, or anyone whose powers manifest themselves in obvious ways. There was a cameraman. He should have been filming. He **was** filming. And yet, the hospital isn't deluged by the press, waiting for exclusive interviews."

"Okay. I'm listening. Go on."

"Remember when we saved Stark? A whole plane load of people saw us use our powers. We had two FBI agents on the helicopter. Stark made a phone call, and the FBI wasn't a problem any more. And we never saw anything on the news, or on the Internet, or anything about you or Quinn. Not even a second-hand eyewitness account."

"Yeah. That **was **weird. So…there's a news blackout?"

"Yup," said Daria. "And I don't want to know who is blacking the news out or how they do it. But it was easy. It involves the government, in some way."

"That could have been just Stark. Maybe he has pull."

"Yeah. That's true, it could just be Stark. But note the attacker didn't just stride in and kill the mayor with whatever powers he has. He used a gun. We **only** saw his powers when we tried to stop him."

"So this guy isn't obvious."

"Maybe he just doesn't have obvious powers, except for invulnerability. On the other hand…if this guy knows that you don't use powers in a public place…then going to face us head on at a deserted quarry is the best thing going for him. I tried to piss him off enough in that letter. I did everything but imply that he's underendowed."

"And we ambush him, right?" said Jane.

"Actually, I wasn't thinking of an ambush," said Daria, "although an ambush sounds like a really great idea, come to think of it." She turned to Jane. "Maybe we should get a meeting of the Legion together…and be ready for when this guy comes."

"_If_ he comes."

"If he comes. But he knows that he can do whatever he wants at the Quarry without the eye of cameras, or cops. And if that isn't an invitation for someone to use their superpowers in lethal and highly dangerous ways…then I don't know how to write one."

(la la LA la la)

Lou Cypher made sure that he was armed. He knew enough about three of the Legionnaires. One had magnetic powers, and that made her the most dangerous. However, he was ready. The knives and other objects he carried were plastic and non-metal. He would have loved a gun that could shoot plastic bullets, but a hard plastic shell had never been invented that could survive the pressures put on a metal bullet by a handgun. It was too late to get a gun that fired rubber bullets. He was left with birdshot, plastic pellets that wounded animals. For now, it would have to do.

The lightning girl was another problem. She could throw a jolt. As a result, he was now missing the pinky finger of his left hand. There was no pain outside the ache that he always felt in his bones, every day. This body, was frankly, worn out. He didn't know what to do next.

The problem was the other three Legionnaires. He had found out that one could duplicate into three people, which was really no advantage at all – one helpless girl becoming three helpless girls. Just gave him more hostages. The one in blue and the one in white were complete mysteries. Cypher figured that if they were _really_ dangerous, they would have done something.

And they didn't. Once he got rid of the first two, it was a waltz the rest of the night. Kill the stragglers, kill the mayor for good measure. Mission accomplished. Really, it was their mistake, asking to meet him in the middle of nowhere.

Two o'clock in the morning. Past a little girl's bedtime. He would see if they were night fighters.

(la la LA la la)

Sandi 3 looked through her binoculars. Wearing black, she poked her head from under the underbrush and whispered into her gold-colored phone. "Someone's coming!"

Two to three. Who do you think it is? 

"I can't tell, but he's driving a black Trans-Am. I think it's him!"

Got it. Lie low. 

Sandi 2 turned off her phone. She woke up Quinn. "Sandi 3 saw him pull up on Old Quarry Road."

"Are you sure it's him?" said Quinn, yawning.

"It has to be him," said Sandi 1, "anyone coming up that road is a construction worker or an intruder. It's two o'clock in the morning, and all the construction guys are home."

"Got it." Quinn pulled out her pink phone. "Quinn to Jane."

"Yo." 

"He's here."

Silence. "Let him come in, then. We'll meet him at the chokehold." 

Jane turned to the Mayor. The two stood on top of the incomplete third floor of Legion Tower, far away from the Legion Trailer Park.

"How are you doing?"

"I hurt like hell. So…he's here?" asked Dunlap.

"Yeah. We have a twenty-four hour watch." Sandi's triplication power finally had some use to it.

"And you girls can handle him?"

"Some of us. Just me, Quinn, and Daria. The others can't help right now."

"What about the girl who became two people?"

"Three people," said Jane. "We need heavy duty power. Even if…we have…uh…trouble…he shouldn't be able to find you here." Jane tossed the Mayor a cellphone. "Wait two hours, then call the police. They'll come down here and rescue you." _And if we lose, they'll haul our corpses to the funeral parlor._

"You girls are the bravest people I know."

Jane smiled. "Well, don't flatter us. We really didn't have any choice to be so brave." With that, Jane used her powers and floated away.

It didn't take long to traverse the distance from the tower to the chokepoint. Jane hoped that Cypher had not left his car, because she felt more vulnerable than ever in flying. She made sure her protective field was extended in front of her.

As she landed, Daria stood by. "I wish I had a gun or something."

"Just concentrate on trying to read his mind. Quinn and I will keep him busy."

"Good. He's coming uphill anyway. I don't think you're in danger, but I'd fly fast and low to the ground if things get out of hand."

Quinn was already charging up.

"Stop doing that!" said Jane. "You'll give our position away. We'll hit him in the dark."

"We need to hit him in the chokehold…if he tries to get out!" said Quinn.

"You could blow up the car!" said Daria.

"Shh!! He's coming!" said Jane.

Jane, Quinn, and Daria moved to the bushes. Sandi 1 and Sandi 2 stayed near the Legion Trailer Court to bring whatever the Legion might need, but both had been told to stay out of the fighting. Tiffany had been told to stay away as well as she could not yet control her powers.

Two headlights broke the darkness, two small suns breaking the horizon and extending horizontally to break the night sky.

"Closer…closer…." Said Jane. "NOW!!"


	24. 3:8 Heart of Evil

Lou Cypher drove his black Trans-Am up along the quarry road. As he pulled up the hill

to the top of the excavation, he was surprised to find no guards, no protective fence, no anything. He figured that his "quarry" were either exceptionally brave, or exceptionally stupid.

For a brief second, he saw three silhouettes, outlined in his bright headlights. The Legion. He gripped the steering wheel, and smiled.

It was then that he noticed a brief sensation of weightlessness, followed by the inexorable pull of gravity….

Jane, Daria, and Quinn watched the Trans-Am tip forward, and fall into the sinkhole that had been carefully prepared by Quinn doing some late-night excavation of her own. The crater was about thirty feet long and wide enough to hold and trap any car coming into it.

Daria's high school algebra, however, had not prepared her for some miscalculation. Daria mistakenly assumed that the car would move forward and fall into the hole the way the bullet fits into the chamber of a pistol. However, the Trans-Am had slowed down on its way up the hill and the front end of the vehicle simply tipped into the hole, ass-end up, with the sound of crunching fiberglass and breaking headlights to plunge the night into darkness again and at the same time, break the silence.

The three Legionnaires stood by, anxiously. They could make out the shape of the back wheels in the dark, spinning furiously, the brake lights of the Trans-Am quietly dying.

"Do you think that's got him?" said Quinn.

"I don't know," answered Daria. "He might be unconscious. The sides of the hole should pin the doors from opening. Either way, he shouldn't be able to get out."

But the sound of glass breaking, again – and again – and again indicated that something was getting out of the car. And fast.

Cypher climbed out of his car through the winshield. The walls of the crater pinned the doors shut. He swung himself around, scattering up the roof of the car like a spider, not so much as breaking for breath, the tilted car creating a steep incline. One lone working headlight lit up the pit from which he found himself crawling.

"You can give yourself up!!" shouted Jane, from the air. "We've got you covered!!"

Cypher watched the person levitating above him. She wasn't armed, but floating in front of her was a barrier. A large, flat piece of metal.

Swinging around, Cypher fired. There was no reason not to, and she might not be very fast or very experienced with the makeshift shield. As he managed to clear the trunk of the car, lots happened….

…Cypher, turning and firing his handgun while he jumped back onto level ground…

…Quinn, firing a bolt of electrical force which just missed Cypher as he cleared the back bumper….

…and Daria, watching and waiting.

Jane had not thought of creating a visor hole for her metal shield, but she caught Cypher pulling something from his coat and figured it was the gun. The shield immediately blocked the line of fire and Jane could feel the minimal impact of plastic pellets harmlessly bouncing off. She moved forward, more confidently.

Cypher ducked as the force bolt Quinn threw blew the fiberglass trunk lid off the crashed Trans-Am. Watching it flutter away like a piece of paper sickened him.

_Bitch! You wrecked my ride! This was supposed to be man to man!!_

As Daria desperately tried to search his mind – and found nothing! – Quinn battered away at the smashed automobile that Cypher used for cover, throwing bolt after bolt. She couldn't wait until they forced him out, sooner or later and brought him to jail. The plan was that between Jane and Quinn, Cypher would have no where to go.

Cypher, suddenly, rolled out from behind the trunk. He had a new weapon in his hand.

A rock, about the size of a VCR. The large, heavy, unwieldy rock would have served as a weapon for no one except for Lou Cypher. Cypher hurled the rock hard – very hard – in Jane's direction.

Jane brought the shield in front of her just in time. The hard piece of stone was thrown with such force that even Jane felt the impact. The rock, part stone and part sand, disintegrated upon impact with the metal shield and turned into a crowd of brown, blinding dust which rapidly found its way into Jane's eyes. She began coughing, rapidly, half-blinded.

"Quinn!" shouted Daria. "You've got to smash the car! Get rid of his cover!!"

Quinn didn't need the advice. She fired more forcefully, lighting up the sky and illuminating the area as if it were lit by a full moon on a clear sky. The blue blast rocketing from her hands ripped a huge hole in the back end of the Trans-Am…

…and ignited the gasoline tank!

A loud

FFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHH

followed by the shockwave of a large explosion provided permanent illumination to the night sky, followed by a scattering of burning fiberglass debris. Jane was forced back even further by the heat and the black smoke. _At least_, thought Jane_, he has nowhere to hide now._

Daria and Quinn hit the ground when they saw the Trans-Am go up. Most of the car was trapped in the crater, and the two Legionnaires were shielded from the blast effects.

"Daria…can you hear him?" whispered Quinn.

"No…I can't…." answered Daria. _I've tried listening in, and I can't even find his mind at all! This can't be happening!_

Quinn turned to Daria. "You have to get out of here."

"Quinn, I – "

"Get out, Daria!" shouted Quinn, charging up. "I mean it! I don't want to see you get killed!!"

Daria stood still.

"RUN!!" screamed Quinn.

Daria, not knowing what to do, and feeling utterly helpless, ran in the opposite direction, away from the battle.

Jane coughed away the last of the dust of smoke. When her line of vision cleared, she saw Cypher break for open ground, using the explosion as cover.

She reached in her pocket and pulled out a ball bearing the size of a large marble. She sent the marble flying at the fleeing Cypher with magnetic force.

She knew she hit him. But it didn't even seem to knock him down. She had other marbles, but decided not to use them.

"Quinn!" Jane shouted. "I'm going to set him up! Get ready!!" She brought the metal shield with her in case Cypher had any more tricks.

Quinn ran rapidly after Cypher, now very short of breath and sweating heavily. It would be up to Jane and Quinn alone to take care of the attacker. Quinn wondered if she would be up to it. Jane had explained what the "set up" meant. Quinn saw the logic in it, but didn't know how much force she could use.

Jane had now outflown Cypher, rocketing past him. Cypher stopped running, turning almost as if on a dime. Jane was now using extending the shield even further from her body, this time using it as a floating barrier and flying after Cypher.

Cypher ran from the shield, his way blocked by Jane's floating fence. Quinn ran to close the distance between the two. She watched Jane get closer with the metal barrier…

…as Quinn closed in further.

Cypher knew he was trapped. He stopped running. Jane made sure to keep the metal wall up to limit his movements.

"NOW!!!" screamed Jane.

Quinn fired.

She hit Cypher with a shot of electrical force as Jane released the metal shield completely. She had once felt Quinn's force bolt crawl around (or was it through) a magnetic field and she knew she didn't want it to happen again.

The trick would be for Quinn to hit Cypher with enough force to stop him.

Cypher began running toward Quinn. The arcs of force glowed through his body, blew holes in his trenchcoat, and knocked the hat from his head.

And still, he kept running. Quinn could see his teeth glowing with electrical force, a rictus grin, heading straight for her.

"HIT HIM HARDER THAT THAT!!" shouted Jane.

"IF I HIT HIM HARDER, I'LL KILL HIM!!" shouted Quinn.

"IT'S EITHER YOU OR HIM! FOR GOD'S SAKE, HIT HIM!!!"

Cypher closed the gap. Thirty feet.

Twenty feet.

Ten feet, hands outstretched, smoke coming from his hands, a creature of hell.

Quinn gulped, and concentrated.

Five feet….

Kevin and Brittany smooched at Lover's Lane, which happened to overlook the Quarry. Kevin hoped that tonight, he might see the promised land for the first time.

As he ran his hands over Brittany's body, he could see a powerful flash of lightning in the background reflected in the glass of his jeep. He remembered from grade school that thunder followed lightning, because sound was faster than light. Or something like that.

"Gee babe, better close the top!"

Brittany smiled. "Tee hee! I thought you wanted to peek under the hood!!"

"I'll peek under your hood!!" As Kevin prepared to close the back of the jeep, he hoped that the big storm coming would come at just the right time. He hoped to be under the roof all night, if he got lucky.

The shot Quinn hit Cypher was something to behold, if one's retinas could survive it. Jane felt the ground shake as if the area had been struck by a flash of lightning. Jane levitated slowly but as quickly as safely allowed, forced to shield her eyes all the while.

When night took over again, Jane saw Quinn sitting on the ground, slightly dazed. Jane looked for Cypher at Ground Zero.

There was nothing there. Not a burning corpse. Not a pair of empty shoes.

Nothing.

"Holy crap!" said Quinn, panting rapidly. "I incinerated him!!"

Jane walked over to the area, which was still hot. "It can't be _that_ easy…." she muttered. She looked about.

"Crap! Quinn, I want you to look around. You might have knocked him out of the area. Stay charged up at all times! I don't want anybody touching you. Does your phone still work?"

Quinn fumbled for the phone at her belt. Her costume was intact…but the belt was gone. Quinn looked down to see a burning canvas strip of cloth, with what used to be a cell phone smouldering away.

"I'll check on the mayor! Search the area! You couldn't have knocked him far!!" At least Jane hoped not. Finding the attacker in the dark would be difficult at best. The last thing she needed was for Cypher to get away, for when they found him again, they would probably have to fight him on his terms next time.

Sandi waited with Daria and Tiffany. Tiffany strained to see what was going on. The three winced as they could see what appeared to be lightning flashes light up the sky…including a huge lightening stroke that almost seemed like a mini-thunderstorm.

"Should we call Jane?" asked Sandi.

"I don't know if we should call her in the middle of a fight! That might not be a good idea!" said Daria.

"But how…will we know…what's going onnnnn?" moaned Tiffany.

"We wait till they get back."

Silence. For the longest time. And then, a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Sandi.

The knock continued, louder, and more persistent.

"I'll see who it is from here," said Daria. ** - All right, we hear you, now STOP KNOCKING! - **

Silence.

Then the knocking continued, loudly and aggressively, the door beginning to shake.

"Oh shit," muttered Daria.

'What?"

"I CAN'T READ HIS MIND!!! RU – !"

Before Daria could get the words out of her mouth, the thin trailer park wooden door cracked down the middle. A second kick broke it to pieces.

Lou Cypher stepped into the trailer.

He was a mess, to say the least. And he no longer seemed to be Lou Cypher, or at least, the parts that were still there didn't add up to Lou Cypher.

The clothing had burned off his body, revealing a mostly seared and partly melted plastic armor. His toes appeared to be bloody stumps, and the SQUISH of his feet was the sound of dread to the three terrified girls. His skin had boiled away, large open sores and red scalds with the rims of the sores black with dead skin and dripping with bloody pus.

His hair had burned away, leaving only smoke and the white of his skull visible from the top of his head. One eye had turned a shade of yellow, and had shrunken, having literally cooked away in his skull. A large flap of skin from the left side of his face hung half-off his cheek like a slab of cooked bologna.

Upon his face, as a famous author once said, was the look of extreme annoyance.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" screamed Sandi, as she almost ran over Daria and Tiffany. The two would have found Sandi's sudden cowardice unforgivable, if they weren't literally running one step behind her.

For a dead man walking, Cypher could move with amazing quickness. The girls snaked through the trailer, a multicolored snake weaving through furniture. Cypher knocked wood, glass, whatever he could find aside. Because he only needed one hostage.

Sandi found the back door. It opened, and Sandi lept the six feet or so through open air and out onto the dry rock quarry. The other two girls quickly followed, with Daria barely escaping before feeling the touch of Cypher's bloody clabbered hand.

Cypher tumbled out the back door, not knowing that there was a six foot drop. He stumbled to the ground, and screamed, loudly, sending the small hairs on the back of Daria's head dancing.

The three girls ran in different directions. Cypher was now chasing one lone girl, the one he had the closest line of fire to.

…not Tiffany….

…not Daria….

SANDI.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" screamed Sandi as she felt the blood-matted hand of Lou Cypher grab her by the arm and twisted her forward. She found herself looking into his death's head.

"Whereth the may'r?" he shouted.

"Huh?"

"WHERE'TH THE MAYORTH?!" Cypher had developed a speech impediment as he grabbed Sandi's other arm.

Sandi felt her bladder release, warm soaking warmth down the length of her pants as she faced the half-dead madman, her hindbrain not considering bladder control an essential function. Her still living tongue dried up and shrunk, to match the size of the cooked tongue that still rattled on about its obscene mission of hopeless death.

Daria watched. She had to do something….but what?

** -- Sandi! What I SAY…YOU SAY!! I'M WITH YOU!! -- **

"We have the mayor!" said Sandi. Cypher did not notice Daria only fifty feet away, moving her lips exactly as Sandi moved hers. "But you're not going to be able to stop us all! Give up!"

"GIVE UP? GIV' UP? I'M GONN' KILL EVERYBOTHY HERE!!" shouted Cypher as blood-tinged spit sprayed Sandi's face. "I'TH EITHER TH' MAYOR, OR YOU!! AND YOU.. LOOK…**THWEET**!" Cypher smiled, or as much as he could smile.

"Th'weet enouf to eat," he said. "Maybe I'll make you my thpecial friendth." He held Sandi by one arm as he reached for his hard plastic knife. The scabbard had burned into crip leather, but the blade still held an edge. "Maybe I'll mak' you prett-ee….!"

Sandi looked at the knife with wide, terrified eyes. "Okay," said Sandi, mouthing Daria's words. "You can have the mayor! Just let me go!"

"Where ith he?"

"He's up at the tower! You'll have to get him there!"

"Then leth's go. But don' you run too fasth. My legth ain't what they used to be."

Cypher and Sandi half-jogged, half-ran to the partially constructed tower area. A large plywood fence surrounded the area, with the menacing logo

NO PROGRESS BEYOND THIS POINT

WEAR HARDHAT!!

"Tho…where ith he?"

Sandi tried to look for something to say. She waited for the words to come, the words that would make this crazy man go away, the words that Daria promised to give her, but

there was nothing. There was no one there except herself and this burning corpse. Daria…had abandoned her!!

Sandi found her words. "I hope they kill you!" She stared at him with all the force of hate she could muster.

"Oh thweetie," chuckled Cypher, "don't you know? I'm unththoppable."

Another voice broke the silent night.

"Really?"

It was Tiffany. Tiffany now standing in front of the plywood barrier.

"You couldn't even kill _me_!" said Tiffany.

"HAAAHH!!" Cypher threw the knife, right towards Tiffany's heart.

_godIhopeI'mdoingthisright_

…the knife passed right through Tiffany as Tiffany faded into insubstantiability. The knife imbedded itself in the plywood a good two inches.

Tiffany knew she would require Daria to get her back to solid again. Still, Tiffany kept running towards Cypher as Cypher threw Sandi aside and prepared to attack his next target.

Cypher swung at Tiffany with a roundhouse punch. It was as if he had hit open air. He couldn't hit Tiffany at all, and figured that his eyesight must be impaired in some way. But his punches would have taken down a bodybuilder.

Tiffany let the punches pass through her, but still flinched out of habit. She dived through Cypher to get to the other side of him and to make sure that Sandi was out of the way.

As she dived through his body…she was stopped. In mid-dive.

She hit something hot…

and HARD.

Tiffany bounced back out of Cypher's body, as if slamming into an iron bar. She remained in her insubstantial form, but rested on the ground temporarily as if she had turned solid.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHH!!!" shouted Cypher. Somehow, Tiffany had hurt him. It was a scream of pain. Cypher immediately began reaching for his chest, as if to make sure that all of his insides were still in one place.

"Hey, asshole."

It was the voice of a female.

"I think you just shot your last bullet. Why don't you pick on somebody your own size, buster?"

Suddenly, unexpectedly, all of the working lights came on at the incomplete Legion Tower. Someone had thrown a switch somewhere. As Cypher crane his neck up, he found Jane Lane standing on the top floor, looking down on him with a three story height advantage.

Cypher figured that now was the time to break for it. He no longer had the advantage. He ran.

Behind Jane, long thin steel structural support bars lifted up behind her, floating in the air as if animated by their own power.

Jane smiled. "Never threaten my friends. NEVER."

A bar snaked out to find the rapidly running Cypher. It left the floor as if it were an arrow, a javelin aimed by an invisible force. It just missed him.

The second one missed him and Cypher smiled with what was left with his lips. _Stupid bitch…maybe you should practice next time!!_

The third bar pierced Cypher's femur.

One inch in diameter, the bar shattered his right femur, its terminal end finding the hard ground.

Cypher knew he had to get the bar out of his leg before more bars came his way.

Before he could wrap his hands around the bar, another metal shaft suddenly split his upper chest.

"AAAAAAHHH!!! NOOO!!!!" Cypher screamed, his burnt jaw barely hanging open.

Still, his blackened frame jiggled on the wires as he gave up trying to free himself and clutched at his chest again. A bright beam of light, as if on a pinhole, broke free from his chest, a tiny searchlight.

Tiffany strode forward. She knew there was something inside him. Something hot, and hard, and foreign.

Quinn huffed and puffed her way up the hill. "Tiffany! GET OUT OF THE WAY! I'M GOING TO ZAP HIM!!"

"DOOOO IT!!!"

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!"

"I SAID GO AHEAD!" screamed Tiffany. "TRUST MEEEE!!!"

Quinn closed her eyes. It was hard trusting Jane or Daria, much less Tiffany. She didn't even know how powerful she was, so why would a deadhead like Tiffany know how powerful she was.

She fired a mini-arc. The arc went right through Tiffany and found the steel rod piercing Cypher's chest. Sparks flew as the rust on the rod ignited, the electricity freeing the oxygen. Cypher danced like a puppet on a string.

Tiffany remained insubstantial as Quinn hit Cypher again. Cypher's body was now igniting. Tiffany had plunged both of her arms into Cypher's screaming form.

As his capacity to speak diminished, with his one eye, Cypher looked into Tiffany's face for even a hint of mercy. Tiffany's face was as a marble statue. She looked as Cypher as if her were a slab of meat in the way of something more interesting.

"STOPPP!!!" shouted Tiffany. She found what she was looking for.

It gave way. Cypher's chest opened up, a pressure inside it bursting open, an object that Tiffany, even in her insubstantial state could touch.

Before Tiffany could grab the object and release it, Cypher reached inside his burning body, shoving an arm inside, cracking his sternum open and grabbing what Tiffany was looking for.

The area around Cypher glowed red. Cypher was holding…somehow…a brilliant light in his hands, as if a torch. The light glowed red hot, but gave off no heat, giving off instead a red strobing light.

The light flew from Cypher's hands. It was hurled in the direction of a target.

SANDI.

The light hurled like a red hot sun, to strike Sandi's abdomen. Or rather, would have if Jane Lane hadn't moved the steel shield in front of Sandi at the last second.

A loud CLANG! could be heard.

Cypher had stopped moving. Quinn stopped zapping him.

Jane flew from the Tower and the five girls gathered around the site.

Cypher was dead, it seemed. There was not much left of the burnt skeletal form impaled on the steel bars.

Tiffany picked up the glowing, strobing light and held it up.

"It's gloooo-winnnnng…." she said.

And indeed, it was. The light was not some type of focused energy, but came from a source. A red jewel, which tapered off into a razor-sharp tip. The jewel continued to glow, as if promising incredible power.

The five girls gathered around, watching it. Tiffany held it aloft.

"How can you even hold that?" asked Daria.

"I don't knoooowww." Yet somehow, Tiffany could. Tiffany looked all right holding it. Gingerly, Quinn reached out and touched it.

"It feels warm!"

The others all reached out to touch it. First Jane, then Daria…

**YOUSTUPIDFUCKINGCUNTILLKILLYOUILLKILLYOUICANTBESTOPPEDIAMTHEDARKONEGETYOURFUCKINGHANDSOFFOFMEGIVEMEFLESHIHAVETOHAVEFLESHIFYOUDONTGIVEMEFLESHYOULLSUFFER--!!**

Daria yelped, snapping back as if she had been bitten by a snake. She fell to the hard quarry floor. Jane and Quinn rushed toward her to pick her up.

"Daria -- !" shouted Jane.

Daria looked cold. "H..H..**horrible**. He – he's in there. Now I know why I couldn't read his mind."

Silence. Then Tiffany asking, "why?"

"Because – F-Freddy Krueger over there wasn't the enemy. That thing you're holding in your hand is!"

Tiffany dropped the crystal. Everyone else stood back…far back.

There were three tasks left that night. The Legionnaires split up into groups.

Jane, Quinn, and Tiffany had to dispose of Cypher's car. Tiffany was put to work (against her will) searching for metal, plastic, and anything that might be construed as part of an automobile. Anything she found, she threw inside the choke hole pit, all the while complaining about how touching the icky car parts were getting her nice white Legion uniform dirty. When Jane told Tiffany that she could do the job assigned to Daria and Sandi, Tiffany began working with a fervor that amazed even Jane.

It was up to Jane to lift up the Trans-Am and deposit it in another part of the quarry, far away from prying eyes. She would also have to get the Mayor taken care of. The two girls waited for Jane to get back, knowing that it was after 4 am and that the sun would be coming back soon. Quinn and Tiffany didn't say much, too tired to even speak, with all sorts of horrifying thoughts in their heads.

They would have to keep the crystal, thought Quinn. They couldn't trust burying it, because what would happen if someone dug it up? Turning it over to an adult didn't make sense, because no adult would know what it was, or wouldn't believe the tale the Legion had to be told.

Still, Quinn felt creeped out by knowing that the man they thought was still horribly alive, trapped in the crystal, and would look for revenge if he could find a new host.

It was time for Quinn to do her job. To call someone at Quest Corporation at 5 am in the morning, wake them up and tell them to make sure that no construction took place today. As well as to tell Dawn Hall what had happened.

What would she tell Hall? Hall knew everything. Perhaps the truth. She figured Hall wouldn't be surprised. Hall would probably scream at Quinn and tell her that she had done something wrong. Quinn hated Dawn Hall, who had made her cry over the entire choice of uniforms thingie.

Quinn had a response ready. They had done the best they could do. The construction men would be there in thirty minutes. What to say about the big hole in the ground in the middle of the road to the site? Perhaps the best thing would be to claim ignorance….

(la la LA la la)

"Gah! I hate this!"

Three black clad Sandi Griffins and Daria Morgendorffer continued to dig away with shovels and picks. The hole didn't have to be deep, just deep enough.

"Why do I have to do this?" said Sandi 3.

"Well…you have to admit we weren't able to do much at all," said Daria.

"Tell me about it!" said Sandi 2, in a snit. "I got chased by a creep who got blood and goo all over me! I turned into a scared girl from some dumb horror movie and peed all over myself! I couldn't do a damn thing, except get in everyone's way."

"Well," said Daria, "that's not quite true. Remember when I had to let you go? When I wasn't there in your head?"

"Yeah?" said Sandi 1.

"That's when I was calling Jane on the cell phone. I managed to tell her where he was. And you did a good job of not freaking out when I was in your head, nor when I was out of it You managed to keep him distracted long enough for us to get into position."

The three Sandis kept digging, unconvinced. Finally, one of the Sandi's muttered "okay" and there were other mutterings from the other two Sandis.

"How deep does this thing have to be? It's like, I'm sweating all over!" said Sandi 1. She didn't have time to take a shower and God knew what she smelled like.

Daria put her foot down into the small crater. "I figure that's deep enough."

She looked at the body, and then looked at the three Sandis. "So which one of you is going to volunteer?"

Sandi 1 stepped forward, slowly. Daria and Sandi1 pulled the body by a piece of burnt trenchcoat into the small crater. It seemed to fit well enough.

"So who was he, anyway?" asked Sandi 2 as the four began to pour dirt and rock back into the crater with their shovels.

"I don't know. If he had ID, it was burned. Trust me. He's still quite alive. We're only burying the unnecessary part of him…his body."

"He tried to throw that…he tried to throw…**himself** at me!"

"Yeah."

Sandi 3 stopped digging. "Daria…are you **sure** he can't get out?"

"Sandi…I could feel his mind. His mind was trapped inside the crystal. It wanted… _flesh_. He was crazy. I give it a 99.999 percent chance that this body has seen its last days on earth." Daria thought. "Hell…we don't even know if it's **his** body we're burying. This body could have belonged to some unlucky bastard who crossed him. We're just burying a container."

The word "container" made Sandi feel okay. Whatever the Dark Man was, was in the crystal.

Sandi still had a lot of questions to ask Daria. She didn't know that Daria had a mind control power. Perhaps she would ask Quinn about that.

Daria looked to the horizon, which was turning blue-black at the edges. "Daybreak will be here soon."

"Crap!" said Sandi 2. "We have to change!"

"Why?" said Daria.

"School day," said Sandi 3.

_Oh Jesus. Great. I completely forgot. I'm in no shape to go to school today._ Daria moaned at the thought of it. _But the thought of not showing up and having Mom find out almost scares me as much as fighting this guy again. Mr. O'Neill would call Mom, all concerned about my absence and Mom would flip out._

_Well Mom, I wish you could see me now, burning a dead body in an open quarry, one step ahead of the cops. What would you say about that? I'd probably have to bury you right next to him, you'd be so freaked out._

"You know what?" said Sandi 2.

"What?"

"This sucks. Big time sucks," said Sandi 1.

Daria smiled. _Yes. Yes it does, suck big time indeed. I suppose three Sandis can't be wrong…. _


End file.
